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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 04:08 PM
YOU ARE THE
REASON FOR THE SEASON!










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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 04:16 PM
Happy Birthday, it is the sweetest Birthday EVER! Praise GOD! PRAISE Jesus.

Luke 2:16
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 04:38 PM
Happy Birthday, JESUS! Thank you for all the Blessings you give to those who Believe. One way or the other, come Rapture or my departure, I hope to see you soon!

Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 04:44 PM
All the best in this wonderful day, Holy Jesus!

I hope you have a great day and return soon to sort those dirty queers, democrats and foreigners with your mouth sword.

YIY

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 05:18 PM
Dearest Christ, in Whom I have placed my Trust:

I am reminded of the Song of Solomon when I think of You, Lord, for surely my love for You doth transcend all earthly description. I spent the first hour of my day transfixed upon the portrait of Your face that hangs in my tastefully appointed prayer chapel (the one on the east wing, just like the star of the east that spoke of Your Birth). As You know, I lay on my face silent before You (as that silent night so long ago when shepherds quaked).

May Your Father Bless You, Jesus, on this commemoration of Your Nativity - the best and most Holy Birthday in the history of this or any world.

I cast crowns at Thy Feet, my Amazing Redeemer! Hallelujah!

NRL

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 05:54 PM
I hope we have moved past that whole incident where I killed You. Many happy returns of the day! Your wounds seem to have healed nicely if I may say.

You Bless You, Lord.

Your loving servant,
Morton
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 07:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
I hope we have moved past that whole incident where I killed You. Many happy returns of the day! Your wounds seem to have healed nicely if I may say.

You Bless You, Lord.

Your loving servant,
Morton
Well said.

If a few more jewboys where as contrite as you there might be a few less paedophiles in this great nation.

YIC

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 09:05 PM
No Satan Claus in our house here in Richmond, Virginia. Oh no! We know the truth!

Jesus is the Reason for the Season! Happy Birthday to our dear Lord and Savior!

Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 09:41 PM
Happy Birthday, Jesus! I love you so much! I think about you all the time! I am so sorry for ever having sinned against you! I know I've said that before in my prayers, but I mean it, and I know you've told me my transgressions have been forgotten, but I still feel just so terrible about doing all those things I did in rebellion when I was a child and thought my choices were logical reactions to situations as they came up. But they weren't. They were sins. Each and every time I didn't glorify YOU, I sinned. Each and every time I didn't obey Your Will, I sinned. Each and every time I made plans based on my own logic, I sinned. For this and and so many other offenses, I heartily apologize.

But You, Jesus, You are Merciful towards those who commit themselves to You. You loved me, not because I deserve it, but because it pleases You to do so. You called me to be your Bride, and I ACCEPT! Yes Jesus, I DO! I DO LOVE YOU! AND I CANNOT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU IN HEAVEN COME THE GLORY!




In Heaven We will be Groom and Bride
and live together happily
for ever and ever!

Praise YOU!

And Happy Birthday!

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 09:55 PM
Happy Birthday to Jesus and a Merry Christmas to my favourite bunch of pseudo bible thumpers, and may you find you in the newborn Christ this and every Christmas.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 10:07 PM

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-25-2014, 11:03 PM
My dear Lord and Savior, I bless thee for all thy great goodness! I praise You for You are good at all times, good and bad. Thank you for the gift of redemption of me as a petty, silly, sinful, dirty woman, and thank you for humbling Yourself, the Highest King of Kings and Prince of Peace, to save me, an un-deserving, inmoral woman!

"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 12:57 AM
Sorry for this rude interruption. According to Luke 1, Jesus was born in fall, on the first day of the feast of Tabernacles. The guy you worship on december 25th is actually the Catholic version, the Anti-Christ. Please repent and don't make it more difficult for God to forgive your sins. The book of Revelation has something negative to say about Nicalaitans, i.e. the worshipers of Santa Nicolas. Come out of Babylon ye winter solstice worshippers, that you be not partakers of her sins, and that you receive not of her plagues. The God of the Bible is a jealous God, he will not give his glory to anyone - Santa, Buddha, Allah, anyone. He forgives those who follow Him and hates those who follow the Pope.
Praise the Lord, no one is like Him.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 01:12 AM
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blah blah blah According to Luke 1, blah blah blah
Verse?

Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 01:47 AM
Happy Birthday, Lord Jesus! Did you get the love offering I send you? I signed the deed to my house over to Pastor Zeke!


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 01:52 AM
Blessed is me. Thank you all for your birthday wishes. I can tell you time flies when you're up in Heaven, like I am.

I am a little disappointed in some of you though. I noticed that Love Offerings at my favorite Church (Landover Baptist) were down this year. Don't make me have to send a couple of she-bears into Freehold to make my point.

Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 02:00 AM
Oh Lord Jesus, it is so nice to hear from you once again! I hate to ask, and you should probably post a spoiler alert if you, in your wisdom and grace, choose to respond, but can you please tell us who Jeb Bush's V.P. is going to be, and by how much of a landslide they'll be winning?

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 02:04 AM
Happy Birthday Jesus! I feel sorry for the other people here who apparently can not hear your voice in their head all the time like I can. I guess I will not use up too much of your time in this thread so you can focus on talking to them.

One thing, though, sometimes I also hear the voices of demons and even if I'm praying real hard, they talk super loud and drown out your golden voice. And there's this one demon in particular who likes to imitate your voice just to mess with me.

Could you please smite the warlock who is controlling those demons? I will send you his name and address in a PM. He got a restraining order against me. Thank you. I love you.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 02:29 AM
Please excuse me for not replying half an hour ago. I have a lot of people here to celebrate Your birthday, and many of them fainted when You came online. So I've been running around administering smelling salts.
Oh Lord Jesus, thank You for gracing us with Your presence today, this most Holiest of days.
I threw myself at Your feet, but now I'm raised onto my knees. How can I serve You best, my Lord?

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS JESUS! - 12-26-2014, 03:34 AM
MERRY CHRISTMAS

I hope you enjoy the present I got you. (I got one for Pastor Zeke too)

I hope you enjoy it! It would seem like HEAVEN to me if I were a man!
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