[Rev. M. Rodimer]

From this UK news source:

BRUNO RE-CUT FOR MPs

THE makers of x-rated comedy film Bruno have released a re-cut version with added sexual perversity, just for British MPs.

Bruno: Die Version Extra Freaky features an additional three hours of explicit acts, including several never before attempted.

Tory MP Sir Paul Bowles said: "I'd heard reports that Bruno featured extended scenes of sodomistic debauchery. After seeing the film, I was indeed disgusted - by its brevity and banal lack of imagination.

"He talked incessantly about his 'kugelsack' and yet we only got a brief, tantalising glimpse. It was a shameless con."

Lib Dem MP Terry Hunter said: "Who, in their right mind, wants to see a film about the bedroom exploits of a promiscuous gay fashionista that doesn't feature ice-picking, cat beading, 'the trident of Vienna', owling, la-la, squeezeplay, tube love or gulching?

"It's a scandal that these deliciously vile deeds and others that I haven't yet thought of weren't depicted in the film."

The MPs sent a 2000-word memo to the film's American producers outlining suggested improvements, including a scene involving 'two rugged bikers and a wounded sheep' and 'a bacchanalian, Caligula-esque party sequence filled with demure Brazilian slave boys, thickly-muscled centurions and a spa-ful of butterscotch-flavour Angel Delight'.

US film producer Larry Chaykin said: "We have spiced the film up a little for the UK political market. However we couldn't incorporate all their ideas as my secretary kept throwing up. And what the piffle is Angel Delight?"

Is it any wonder that God Hates England?