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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 03:06 PM

BLESSINGS
On Your
SPECIAL DAY!









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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 04:03 PM

dear Sister Valvoline! You know your place, and that makes you a credit to your race. May your testimony be heard among your kind!


Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 04:32 PM

A very blessed birthday to you, Sister Valvoline!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 05:20 PM

I do so miss Sister Vavoline. She has not come here for quite some time. She may have been called to do missionary work in Liberia. If so, she has likely been called to her reward due to the Ebola they have over there.

Happy Birthday Vavoline and God Bless!


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 05:54 PM

I thought her blessed nigress heart gave away, but I must be wrong.

Happy Birthday Sister V, wherever you are!
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 06:40 PM

Her boy still owes me $1700 for ruining one of my titanium rims. I paid the boy $5 to wash and wax my Custom Escalade, and he puked all over one of the rims!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 07:47 PM

Happy Birthday Ms. V. Hope you are well and living a True Christian life and not off touring with some half blind blues musician, again.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 08:19 PM

Happy birthday, Miss Johnson! May the Lord bless you with chitlins and watermelons and whatever form of fried chicken is your favorite! Oh mercy, I've just made myself hungry again, but you have a wonderful day!


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-05-2014, 11:27 PM

Happiest of Birthdays, Sister Valvoline!

I pray the Lord blessed you with lots of barbecue, collard greens, and no drive-by shootings in your neighborhood on your special day! Glory!

In Him,
NRL


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-06-2014, 12:20 AM

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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-06-2014, 07:52 AM

Where is she anyway? I sure hope she wasn't accidentally rounded up in one of those Ebola sweeps we're having.


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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-06-2014, 12:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Her boy still owes me $1700 for ruining one of my titanium rims. I paid the boy $5 to wash and wax my Custom Escalade, and he puked all over one of the rims!
You are lucky he didn't steal them! I never have given that boy a job to wash those sweet rims. They are far too valuable and tempting to the negro. The next time you need a rim job, call me. Some of the trustworthy boys in my youth Prayer Circle can help you out.


"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 10-07-2014, 06:41 PM

After having that dream with missus Valvoline in it :

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=54458

I always kinda keep a soft spot for her, for a while anyway.

If your reading this Valva, come back and tell us!


Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
Vavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureVavoline Johnson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! - 03-29-2016, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
I do so miss Sister Vavoline. She has not come here for quite some time. She may have been called to do missionary work in Liberia. If so, she has likely been called to her reward due to the Ebola they have over there.

Happy Birthday Vavoline and God Bless!
Well , I done missed you too. I got myself a Mac computer and done locked myself out of Landover. Couldnt even remember what form of Vav I used to git in here.
..well the good Lawd figured it out and here I is! All shiny and black like jeezsuz made me!


Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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