[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Well friends,

I know you guys will be as stunned (but simultaneously not suprised) about this:

I've been charge and have to appear in court because of THIS vvv

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=63008

My lawyer has insisted I should plead guilty - but momentary insanity or diminished responsibilty.

I said Ach, awaaaay maun and get tae %)$*$%ç^'''

...ehem, so, as I mentioned - he wants me to LIE in court.

OK, it's a secular court.
OK, it might save me my job.
OK, it might make things easier all round.

BUT %)$*$% NO! IF I WENT TO THE BOTHER OF DEFENDING MY FAITH THEN I'LL %)$*$% DO IT AGAIN! IF I HAVE TO SAY TO THE JUDGE - NEXT TIME I'LL TAKE A BASEBALL BAT TO THESE SINNERS I WILL!' THEN I'LL %)$*$% WELL SAY THAT.

Sorry. Fine now.

Anyway, if I lie and claim diminished retardism or something the I'm told I'll be let off with a fine.

If I tell the truth it could be jail. Apparently they've exaggerated injuries so it's been deemed as a more serious offence and I could face 3 months jail I think.

Lie? Should I? Should I say I went momentarily mad and am not responsible for my actions?

Or have we got any lawyaers who can 'think of more productive aproaches to this matter'.....??

Please help. Please. Otherwise I'm really going to do something I'll regret. Actually, I won't regret it - THEY will.

Seriously though, any way round this?

YIC, McU

[Nobar King]

I don't think you are guilty, so you shouldn't lie; you should plead innocent.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Make sure and carefully inspect the Bible they have you sworn in on: they might try to slip an NIV or something in there, which is automatic perjury.

(Matthew 5:18) "For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Bob4God]

I would suggest you simply tell them the truth.

You became violent in the name of True Christianity and beat the devil out of those sinners. Violence against sinners is an integral part of our religion and the government has no right to violate your Freedom of Religion in this way.

Furthermore, I suggest you inform the secular judge that in a REAL Christocracy, you would be able to do a lot more than just beat sinners up.

Remember brother, Christianity is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter how it makes you act!

Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels. - Mark 8:38

[MisterM]

Brother, I think there is quite simple solution here: Fight fire with fire.

First, get contact information of local feminists organizations. This is just a precaution. Then find out the names, phone numbers etc of the sinners wives and mothers and invite them to the court.

When the court session starts, give hint that if the charges won't be dropped, someones are going to find out about whores. That should do it. If not, just call the feminazis and they will rush to the court and there will be bloodshed.

YiC,
Miikkael.

[Felicity]

Lying is a sin so it is never allowed! #Proverbs 6:16-19

[James Hutchins]

A True Christian™ is never guilty. Those persecuting you are. However, by their persecution God has blessed you. You are a lucky man indeed!

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Luke 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

A True Christian™ is never guilty. Those persecuting you are. However, by their persecution God has blessed you. You are a lucky man indeed!

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Luke 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

Thanks Jim, and to all.

True Christians never lie. I certainly don't anyway. I never have, even before my road to Damascus conversion. I've never seen the point.

A lad in our prayer group, Antonio, actually said I should plead guilty in the name of self-defence - after all, I was protecting my morals and theirs.

In any case I shall plead guilty to the accusations, and I will thank them for their persecution. If the judge is a man with the Lord's Light in his heart then 'twill be justice done no matter what happens.

If it's jail? Well, I'll just take that and spend those months in patience and in prayer and eventually have a shower when I get out.

Amen, to whatever happens.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Oh Dear.


The judge is apparently...a woman

[MisterM]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

Oh Dear.


The judge is apparently...a woman

I believe that this might be those situations where two wrongs equals right. Women are quite hot on whorehouse topic. Just remember save your speech against women judges for after the court session.


YiC,
Miikkael

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by MisterM

I believe that this might be those situations where two wrongs equals right. Women are quite hot on whorehouse topic. Just remember save your speech against women judges for after the court session.


YiC,
Miikkael

Hmmm. Good point Mr M.
I probably should mention the evils of the financial exploitation of Hell-bound whores in these brothels: i.e., the whores don't pay tax or get productivity related bonuses, on which tax could be paid so they're therefore harming an already toilet-bound economy even more and so worsening the financial recession.

Heck, I wasn't just defending morals here I was goddam trying to undo the damn credit crunch.

I reckon a dumb broad judge might go for that actually. After all it is relevant and I've done nothing wrong. A case of two rights being wronged if I go down. I'll leave it in the hands of God and I'll wear my best suit, trim my moustache to perfection anyway and find out which bar this judge takes her morning 'café con leche' in (all Dagos 'breakfast' outside the house - too lazy to make it for themselves you see...) and perhaps slide into gentle charming foreigner chat just so she can see the true nature of a True christian and do the right thing.

Thank you Brother M.

Nice idea you gave me there.

Your Friend in Christ, McU.

[MisterM]

You are Welcome, Mr McUinnean. Sometimes when answer is obvious, you are blind to see it by yourself.

And with any luck and Judge is Christian, you can now sue your employer for workplace discrimination. You cannot be discriminated based on your religion.

Best luck to you,
Miikkael

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by MisterM

You are Welcome, Mr McUinnean. Sometimes when answer is obvious, you are blind to see it by yourself.

And with any luck and Judge is Christian, you can now sue your employer for workplace discrimination. You cannot be discriminated based on your religion.

Best luck to you,
Miikkael

You've done it again! On kaunis päivä hirvenmetsastyseen! Genius! Thank you! I hadn't thought of playing the 'discrimination card'.

No wait - that's for ethnic minorities, not me. Oh well, thanks anyway, no doubt my lawyer will try something like that. I wish I had Born Again Bob or Brother Gabe there with me.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the outcome Br. M.

[HTannor]

I strongly suggest that your attorney demand a change of venue.

We, here in the Freehold Judiciary would be pleased to hear your case.

[Titus Templeton]

When i was 6 years old my drug addicted dad came into my room and he sat down beside me. He stroked my hair and said: "Titus, lies make daddy sad." The next day we found him dead in the bathtub.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Thank you Judge Tannor for the offer, but it seems my hearing is this Friday.

Keep me in your prayers.
And thanks you Br. Templeton...for that...em, gem of profundity.

Y-I-C, McU

[HTannor]

Well, since a change of venue is out of the question, should your attorney need a co-counsel, I contacted my cousin - let's just call him Vinny - and he said he would gladly "hop the pond" and be ready to assist.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by HTannor

Well, since a change of venue is out of the question, should your attorney need a co-counsel, I contacted my cousin - let's just call him Vinny - and he said he would gladly "hop the pond" and be ready to assist.

You would actually go to that trouble to help me out Judge!? I'm honoured and would be moved to tears if I had tear glands. Seriously, I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what to say...

I'll say yes! Thank you, and Vinny too of course.

Should I PM you the details and we can make arrangements to have him picked up?

HE needn't worry about in-court translation - I can do that myself, after all it's my job. (was!)

I just need to know if he's versed in Spanish National Law and I'd imagine he knows European Union Law - the best thing about that is you can appeal just about anything if national courts convict you.

I'd be honoured if he's be a guest at my own humble abode as well.
Will he be travelling alone? So arrangements can be made.

I can't thank you enough Judge.
You truly are a True Christian. I feel just as emotional as when I read Revelation and Deuteronomy.

PM me the details.

Thanks again. McU.

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean

PM me the details.

Thanks again. McU.

PM you the details? Hah!

My cousin - just call him, Vinny - has no reason to go "undercover", as it were. He's a member of a very prestigious state bar association - I can't recall which - and is always ready to deliver his clout to any cause. "The weaker, the better," he always says.

He'll be accompanied by his "court clerk," Marisa. She has expert opinion to offer in open court. Her specialty, of course, is obscure transmission/differential combinations offered by Oldsmobile during the latter half of the 20th century. You did say your defense will be based upon skid marks in a parking lot, didn't you?

I asked "Vinny" if he was up to speed on Spanish law. He assured me that he was a frequent visitor to "Spanish Harlem" in one of New York's boroughs and was "pretty sure" he can tell a burrito from a margarita so he's ready to do battle with the barrista's anywhere in the world that hosts a Starbucks. That's good enough for me to recommend him highly.

He told me he'll be landing at 1:00 GMT at Heathrow. I have no idea what that means, but I suspect it has something to do with General Motors Trucks and I'm sure you can figure it out.

Oh, and about his consultation fees. Don't worry about it. I'm assured the Landover Spurious Charges Against True Christians and Open Bar Fund stands ready to cover his fees. Sadly, the fund covers his fees, but not his direct expenses. But, I'm sure if you pass the hat during happy hour at one the Scottish distilleries, you'll be covered - maybe.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Originally Posted by HTannor

PM you the details? Hah!

My cousin - just call him, Vinny - has no reason to go "undercover", as it were. He's a member of a very prestigious state bar association - I can't recall which - and is always ready to deliver his clout to any cause. "The weaker, the better," he always says.

He'll be accompanied by his "court clerk," Marisa. She has expert opinion to offer in open court. Her specialty, of course, is obscure transmission/differential combinations offered by Oldsmobile during the latter half of the 20th century. You did say your defense will be based upon skid marks in a parking lot, didn't you?

I asked "Vinny" if he was up to speed on Spanish law. He assured me that he was a frequent visitor to "Spanish Harlem" in one of New York's boroughs and was "pretty sure" he can tell a burrito from a margarita so he's ready to do battle with the barrista's anywhere in the world that hosts a Starbucks. That's good enough for me to recommend him highly.

He told me he'll be landing at 1:00 GMT at Heathrow. I have no idea what that means, but I suspect it has something to do with General Motors Trucks and I'm sure you can figure it out.

Oh, and about his consultation fees. Don't worry about it. I'm assured the Landover Spurious Charges Against True Christians and Open Bar Fund stands ready to cover his fees. Sadly, the fund covers his fees, but not his direct expenses. But, I'm sure if you pass the hat during happy hour at one the Scottish distilleries, you'll be covered - maybe.

Excellent! Well PM me the e-mail address ( that'll have to be kept off these internets).

And thanks again. Out of curiosity...which Single Malt do you think looks nice in a judge's drinks cabinet to offer to distinguished guests..?