Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-25-2014, 09:19 AM
Our minister and her wife have announced the results of our recent vote. We are pleased to welcome Buddhist and Hindu worshippers into the congregation and anyone wishing to learn about their unique revelation of godhead is welcome to assist this week in setting up appropriate statuary. Guru Bhagmalleab will conducting readings of the Mahabharata each morning 7:30 – 11.
The sunday school hall is being converted for the convenience of itinerant Monks who will be explaining differences berween Theravada, Mahayana and Zen each afternoon from 3:45 (please do not disturb them earlier than this). They have offered to show us where christianity went wrong and are accepting donations for a new statue of The Laughing Buddha (which we have commissioned in gold as a goodwill gesture).
Junior church has therefore relocated to the adjacent Sihk Gurdwara and will now take place on saturday evening.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 35
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Listening to Kagerou Project songs. Go Kido x Momo! (You know you support it Kido)
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 01:26 AM
Hello, I am a rational pervert who believes in having equality among all races and genders. I also do not attempt to force my religion onto others and respect the opinions of others. I believe everyone can be a good person regardless of their religion/race/orientation. In conclusion, I believe that humans need to work together to create better technologies by investing more money in public education, and that we need to explore space and settle on different planets to keep humanity alive longer.
That is what a rational human- I mean liberal believes.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 02:11 AM
Well said, Kyle. You know the lies that false Christians speak. There is hope for you yet.
Now hop over to the other threads, and this time speak like a real Christian.
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 35
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Listening to Kagerou Project songs. Go Kido x Momo! (You know you support it Kido)
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 10:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Well said, Kyle. You know the lies that false Christians speak. There is hope for you yet.
Now hop over to the other threads, and this time speak like a real Christian.
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By real I assume you mean baptist?
Hello, I am a baptist and I hate things that people cannot control! I hate how people are black, even though god made them that way. I also hate how people are gay, even though god also made them that way. I believe in things without evidence, but I don't believe in any other gods because they have the same amount of evidence as my god, which should be enforce, because it's true, because the holy book says so, and you know the holy book is true because the holy book says it's true.
-My impression of a Baptist
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo the queerboy
By real I assume you mean baptist?
Hello, I am a baptist and I hate things that people cannot control! I hate how people are black, even though god made them that way. I also hate how people are gay, even though god also made them that way. I believe in things without evidence, but I don't believe in any other gods because they have the same amount of evidence as my god, which should be enforce, because it's true, because the holy book says so, and you know the holy book is true because the holy book says it's true.
-My impression of a Baptist
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I don't hate anyone.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 10:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo the queerboy
By real I assume you mean baptist?...
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If by "Christian" you mean someone who believes the Bible is true (the whole thing, not just bits and pieces that make them feel good), and conducts themselves accordingly (by obeying everything in there so God doesn't throw them into Hell like it says He will if they don't), then yes, that's what she meant.
No one here is claiming that they are the only ones on Earth who do this, just that they haven't found any others (nor have I).
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 35
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Listening to Kagerou Project songs. Go Kido x Momo! (You know you support it Kido)
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 10:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
I don't hate anyone.
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Yes, give me an infraction for "racism" in case you cannot tell, that was a parody.
Anyhow, I lost points on this website, I don't really care.
On top of that look at the title you people gave me.
Tell me that's not racist.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-26-2014, 11:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo the queerboy
Yes, give me an infraction for "racism" in case you cannot tell, that was a parody.
Anyhow, I lost points on this website, I don't really care.
On top of that look at the title you people gave me.
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There is no room for parody or satire on this forum, we take Jesus seriously and so should you.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-27-2014, 12:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo the queerboy
Yes, give me an infraction for "racism" in case you cannot tell, that was a parody.
Anyhow, I lost points on this website, I don't really care.
On top of that look at the title you people gave me.
Tell me that's not racist.
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Are you saying there's something wrong with being Chinese?
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 35
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Listening to Kagerou Project songs. Go Kido x Momo! (You know you support it Kido)
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-27-2014, 02:47 AM
Based on what I've seen on the forums so far, you believe that being female/Japanese (or any other race for that matter, I'm just using mine for now) is bad. I was mocking you for being racist and sexist. I believe everyone is equal.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-27-2014, 03:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiddo the queerboy
Based on what I've seen on the forums so far, you believe that being female/Japanese (or any other race for that matter, I'm just using mine for now) is bad. I was mocking you for being racist and sexist. I believe everyone is equal.
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Racist.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-27-2014, 09:36 PM
Back on topic....
"What God really meant was...."
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-27-2014, 10:58 PM
Everyone is welcome in Heaven.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 823
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: America: God's favorite nation
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-28-2014, 05:20 AM
Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 143
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Godly USA
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
02-28-2014, 05:04 PM
Actually, we should modernify the bible and say most of the sins aren't actually sins and everyone will go to Heaven even if he has commited every sin possible and is a queer. (Kind of repetitive but still)
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
03-06-2014, 01:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
Actually, we should modernify the bible and say most of the sins aren't actually sins and everyone will go to Heaven even if he has commited every sin possible and is a queer. (Kind of repetitive but still)
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1. "Modernify" is not a word in American.
2. "Bible" is always capitalized. (It's because it's a proper noun; you can look this term up in a dictionary).
3. If you really think any of these things, you'll end up in Hell.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 143
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Godly USA
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
03-06-2014, 05:26 PM
Hey, we live in a free country! Who are you to limit my rights?! I can do anything I want and don't care at all! (Notice the sarcasm overload)
Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7
Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
03-06-2014, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Allen
Hey, we live in a free country! Who are you to limit my rights?! I can do anything I want and don't care at all! (Notice the sarcasm overload)
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They don't call sarcasm the lowest form of wit for nothing.
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
03-16-2014, 06:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
Just what it says on the wrapper: Give us your best impersonation of the sort of pseudo-Christian space cadet who only thinks he's saved. I'll start.
You Landover Baptists are a bunch of evil, hate-filled, backwoods redneck hicks, and you'll be the first ones to go to hell. How can you not know that only God is allowed to judge?
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You guys arent really Christians! Only the good verses about how cool Jesus is are right. The verses about hell, and sin, and homosexuality are just horse puckey! I only believe the verses that make me feel warm, and happy inside!
Sincerely, Pseudo-Christian
Thats about what all of them sound like to me!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 120
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Hell. Roasting Eternally With The Dark Lord.
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Re: Talk like a liberal false Christian! -
03-16-2014, 06:45 PM
"By stone homosexuals God actually meant to legalize gay marriage, and give them hugs!"
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