Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-08-2012, 02:47 AM
Curiosity killed the cat.
Satisfaction brought him back.
Then Brother Bobby-Joe sank the cat in Landover Lake with a brick tied to his rear paws.
That was the last we've heard from the cat.
Yours in Him,
BAB
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-08-2012, 05:06 AM
God helps those who help themselves.
. . . helps them into His Lake of Fire to be burned alive for all eternity, unless what they're helping themselves to is a healthy daily serving of Jesus!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 414
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: In the South of the North
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-12-2012, 04:39 PM
Bend Over Backwards:
…until you crack, you God mocking gymnasts.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-12-2012, 08:35 PM
It doesn't hurt to look good,
Until you get raped~!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-12-2012, 11:33 PM
Where there's a will apart from God's, there's a way to the lake of fire.
All good things must come to an end except praising Jesus in Heaven.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-13-2012, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob
Curiosity killed the cat.
Satisfaction brought him back.
Then Brother Bobby-Joe sank the cat in Landover Lake with a brick tied to his rear paws.
That was the last we've heard from the cat.
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But then Bobby Joe felt bad
And rescued the cat by removing the brick that held the cat back
But when he saw the condition of the cat
He threw it back in and it's never come back
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,363
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Opening doors for little old ladies, helping the blind to see.
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-13-2012, 12:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
Where there's a will apart from God's, there's a way to the lake of fire.
All good things must come to an end except praising Jesus in Heaven.
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I can't wait to sing the praises of my master FOREVER and EVER and EVER and EVER!
In Heaven, you don't even have to sleep or use the bathroom, so you can just keeping singing!
I can think of no better way to spend eternity, Praise Him! I hope I die tonight in my sleep!
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-13-2012, 12:45 AM
I'm gonna wear this shirt; do you think it looks OK?
I really don't care; I'm gonna wear it anyway.
I asked Jesus and he had this to say...
Get away from me you prick; and get on your knees and pray.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-14-2012, 06:26 AM
Zeke likes orange juice. But only whores use frozen concentrate.
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Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
True Christian™
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Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-15-2012, 02:27 AM
Whatever goes up, must come down ... Apart from True Christians™!
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-15-2012, 02:41 AM
A rolling stone gathers no moss, and a True Christian™ gathers no sin!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Apostle of the North
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Posts: 11,869
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-15-2012, 01:31 PM
The devil may quote scripture for his own purpose, . . .
. . . but he doesn't hold a candle to a True Christian™ theologian.
1st Corinthians 15:16 For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
1st Corinthians 15:17 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
1st Corinthians 15:18 Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-15-2012, 08:29 PM
All good things come to an end . . .
. . . but burning in Hell lasts forever!
Matthew 25:41 "Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels"
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Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-16-2012, 01:24 AM
I met a poor beggar while walking down the street
He said give me a quarter; I'll even lick it off your feet
I said get away from me you dirty creep
Get on your knees and become one of Christ's sheep
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-16-2012, 08:09 AM
You looking for trouble?
You've come to the right place.
Hebrews 10:31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-16-2012, 09:43 AM
Many a true word is said in jest - Proverb:1:26: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-16-2012, 11:09 AM
One in the hand is worth........
an eternity in the lake of fire.
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Completing The Common Saying... TC Style! -
09-16-2012, 05:42 PM
I woke up in the morning, a stiff choo-choo in my pants
I heard satan whisper to me, "C'mon, give me your hands"
"Away from me" I said
You red sulphurous jerk
If it happens it will happen in my sleep
Where I cannot be held responsible
For doing your sinful work
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