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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 02-14-2013, 04:34 AM

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Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Ive noticed a firm open handed slap to the side of the face is usually enough to keep them quiet long enough to rebuke feisty womenfolk.
They appreciate a strong man anyway and it reinforces your place as head of the house.
I also generally advise dismissing 90% of what a woman says anyway. On any given day a woman will be either recovering from or approaching her unpleasant cursed time so she will usually be far too emotional to listen to reason when it is offered.
A quick slap tends to snap them back to reality just long enough to get a fast point across before they lapse back into the intellectual coma that is a womans thoughts.
Can somebody shout GLORY!!??


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-15-2013, 07:14 AM

My husband usually pops my fingertips with my wooden spoons. It lasts a long time and leaves no bruises, because my husband is considerate. He's also taken to dousing my lips in a non toxic nail polish that prevents nail biting, for when we go out and I'm to be quiet. I've had no problems in my pregnancy thus far.
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-18-2013, 09:27 AM

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Originally Posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
My husband usually pops my fingertips with my wooden spoons. It lasts a long time and leaves no bruises, because my husband is considerate. He's also taken to dousing my lips in a non toxic nail polish that prevents nail biting, for when we go out and I'm to be quiet. I've had no problems in my pregnancy thus far.
It sounds as if you have a loving and considerate husband.

You should consider the gifts Jesus has given you: a few bruises on your fingers are a small price to pay for following Jesus' Holy Word.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-18-2013, 02:26 PM

Greetings lovelies! Oh, and hello unsaved trash,

I have birthed nine strapping lads and one unfortunate female, and throughtout all of these pregnancies my dear husband was kind enough to beat me with a cane, a rifle, a snooker cue, the entire encyclopaedia Brittanica (L-M was particularly nice, I mean painful), a leather whip, a rustic broom and sometimes if I had been especially out of line, the cricket bat Prince Albert left here the last time he visited and insulted all the Jews in 1957. Oh how we laughed.

Between pregnancies it is perfectly acceptable to chase your wife around with your preferred tool of choice, as this will keep her fit and render her better able to bore even more offspring. I have found I like tools of a harder wood. The effect is more intense, teaches more of a lesson and is ultimately always more memorable.

Yours in loving marginalisation,
Bunty


Proverbs 31:10-31
[ The Virtuous Wife ] Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. ...
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-18-2013, 05:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dame Glynnis Hillfox View Post
...the cricket bat Prince Albert left here the last time he visited and insulted all the Jews in 1957. Oh how we laughed...
You let a Belgian stay in your house?? That's awfully open-minded of you.


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Talking Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-18-2013, 08:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
It sounds as if you have a loving and considerate husband.

You should consider the gifts Jesus has given you: a few bruises on your fingers are a small price to pay for following Jesus' Holy Word.

YIC
Thank you! And it is a small price, almost too small, but with twin boys, John isn't taking any chances! Praise Jesus for blessed babies!!
YIC!
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 09:39 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
You let a Belgian stay in your house?? That's awfully open-minded of you.
What's wrong with Belgians? Are we not created by God like the rest of you dumb cunts in America?
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 09:50 PM

I had a liberal ask me the other day while I was witnessing to him when I was going to stop beating my wife. It totally confused me as I hadn't even mentioned beating my wife to him - I don't even know him - and anyway, why would I stop? It works, and I hardly ever get a cross word out of her these days now all that stupid running away to her sister's has stopped for good.

Do you think it was a coded way to ask if I was interested in gay sex? He looked the sort.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 10:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
What's wrong with Belgians?...
Says the guy who chooses a username like "I_Hate_God" when joining a Baptist Church's webforum.

Quote:
...Are we not created by God like the rest of you dumb Rodimers in America?
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things."


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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Says the guy who chooses a username like "I_Hate_God" when joining a Baptist Church's webforum.



Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things."
Says the guy who beats the living shit out of his wife? I don't get your point here, I don't actually hate god, I just don't believe he exists...

But seriously, what's wrong with Belgians? (You can use me as an example if you like, but I'd like to know what's wrong with "my kind" in general as well.)
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 10:37 PM

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Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
Says the guy who beats the living shit out of his wife?...
Whoa, where the H*** did that come from? If you base the rest of your ideas on as much evidence as you did that...

Quote:
...I don't get your point here, I don't actually hate god, I just don't believe he exists... ...
Then why didn't you choose the name "I_Just_Don't_Believe_God_Exists"?

Quote:
...But seriously, what's wrong with Belgians? (You can use me as an example if you like...
As I have very little experience with "Belgians in general" (I live in North America), I am going to use you an example. Don't you think that joining a Baptist Church's webforum with the name I_Hate_God is a little bit provocative and arrogant? How about accusing people you know NOTHING about of "beating the living shit out of their wives"?


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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Whoa, where the H*** did that come from? If you base the rest of your ideas on as much evidence as you did that...



Then why didn't you choose the name "I_Just_Don't_Believe_God_Exists"?



As I have very little experience with "Belgians in general" (I live in North America), I am going to use you an example. Don't you think that joining a Baptist Church's webforum with the name I_Hate_God is a little bit provocative and arrogant? How about accusing people you know NOTHING about of "beating the living shit out of their wives"?
You people seem to do so? The title of this thread kind of proves my point here... "Beating my pregnant wife" gives me a pretty good idea of how you True Christians handle your wives.

Why didn't I chose that name? It just doesn't have the same ring to it...
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 10:51 PM

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Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
You people seem to do so? The title of this thread kind of proves my point here... "Beating my pregnant wife" gives me a pretty good idea of how you True Christians handle your wives.
You say all that like there's something wrong with following God's advice on how to keep them in line.



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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
You people seem to do so?...
So when are you going to start complaining about stereotyping?

Quote:
... The title of this thread kind of proves my point here...
Am I the OP? Have I ever supported the OP's actions?

Quote:
...you True Christians...
Look under my username. What does it say there?

Quote:
...Why didn't I chose that name? It just doesn't have the same ring to it...
"Doesn't have the same ring" = "Wouldn't have marked me out as a prejudiced, arrogant, rude fuckwit as effectively".


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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 11:15 PM

Quote:
So when are you going to start complaining about stereotyping?
I'm being stereotyped here? So it's wrong of me to do the same?

Quote:
Am I the OP? Have I ever supported the OP's actions?
Quote:
Look under my username. What does it say there?
No you have not and I must admit that I did not see that earlier, I don't really have a problem admitting that.

Quote:
"Doesn't have the same ring" = "Wouldn't have marked me out as a prejudiced, arrogant, rude fuckwit as effectively".
Well, I guess you can put it that way... But as I said, it just doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, does it really matter what my name is? I chose the name to gain attention (yes, call me an attention whore all you want) because I am truly concerned with some people on this forum. I want to gain attention because I want people to hear what I have to say, and I want them to argue with me reasonably without any quotes from a 2000 year old book. I want to know what THEY think.



Quote:
You say all that like there's something wrong with following God's advice on how to keep them in line.
Yes, that is exactly the way I am saying it. Also, if God advises you to beat your children, he's kind of an asshole...
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 11:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
I'm being stereotyped here? So it's wrong of me to do the same?...
How does that make you any better than them?

Ever dealt with little children? Do you accept, "But he hit me first", as an excuse?

Quote:
...No you have not and I must admit that I did not see that earlier, I don't really have a problem admitting that...
But you a problem apologizing to the person you accused of "beating the shit out of their wife" with no evidence.

Quote:
...without any quotes from a 2000 year old book. I want to know what THEY think...
Quotes from a 2000 year old book IS what they think.

Quote:
...if God advises you to beat your children, he's kind of an asshole...
I thought you didn't believe He exists?


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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-21-2013, 11:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
How does that make you any better than them?
I never said I was better than them?

Quote:
But you a problem apologizing to the person you accused of "beating the shit out of their wife" with no evidence.
I am very sorry I accused you of beating your wife.

Quote:
Quotes from a 2000 year old book IS what they think.
No, it's not. Whether they want to or not, they DO have their own thoughts. It is quite impossible not to think for yourself.

Quote:
I thought you didn't believe He exists?
No, I don't. That's why I'm not planning to hit my children or my wife... But there's nothing wrong with believing in God. However, if he tells you to beat the people you love, he IS kind of an asshole.
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Smile Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-22-2013, 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
.......No, I don't. That's why I'm not planning to hit my children or my wife... But there's nothing wrong with believing in God. However, if he tells you to beat the people you love, he IS kind of an asshole.
Friend, no one plans to beat their wife or kids. That would be premeditated. It is assuming that your wife and kids are idiots and refuse to listen and follow the Word of God. Why would anyone have a wife or child that insolent? Tell me, do you plan to do stupid things or do they happen to you by accident?
No offense friend, I am just trying to get a handle on how people with empty, hollow, Godless lives think.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-22-2013, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, no one plans to beat their wife or kids. That would be premeditated. It is assuming that your wife and kids are idiots and refuse to listen and follow the Word of God. Why would anyone have a wife or child that insolent? Tell me, do you plan to do stupid things or do they happen to you by accident?
No offense friend, I am just trying to get a handle on how people with empty, hollow, Godless lives think.
No offense taken, I am just trying to get a handle on how you people think... If you are truly interested in knowing more about how I think you can always PM me, I will gladly answer any question.

Anyway, topic-related: Every True Christian here beats his wife and kids, or at least in the 10 topics I've read regarding the "issue". I've seen some examples of planning to beat them too actually now that you mention it. Especially in the topics concerning the sale of children.

I just don't quite understand why you would chose a wife which you are going to hit when she doesn't do exactly what you tell her to do? Are you not supposed to live your wife the way she is? My girlfriend (I'm no Christian so I don't need to be married to have sex ) does a lot of stuff I don't agree with. I don't really care, she is entitled to her own life and opinion, just like me.
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Default Re: Beating my pregnant wife - 03-22-2013, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Hate_God View Post
...No, I don't. That's why I'm not planning to hit my children or my wife...
You don't have to not believe in God in order to not beat your family.

How about not beating your family because it's just plain wrong?


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