[Alphonse Alban]

Or is there some even more effective way?

Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.

As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.

It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.

After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.

Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.

So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.

This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?

[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

Or is there some even more effective way?

Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.

As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.

It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.

After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.

Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.

So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.

This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?

i think Hellfire is the best way to kill the AIDS virus.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)

[WinnerNotSinner]

I also decontaminate my mail before reading it. It could have come from anywhere, and who's to say the postman wasn't a sodomite? Better safe than sorry, that's what I always say.

This is my usual routine:

• Stamping (5 minutes) - I try first to stamp any potential AIDS off of the mail, this should get rid of most of it but there are still little AIDS molecules able to survive through this.
  
• Boiling water - I cover all of my mail in boiling water, this should burn out most of the germs.
  
• Microwave - I put the mail in the mircowave until it starts to set alight (which is a sign it is safe to read). Then I throw some water over it and just like that it's ready to open.

Sometimes my mail is damaged or unreadable but I place protecting my family above reading a boring letter sent by my whiney mother in my list of priorities.

PS. NEVER touch the mail with your hands until decontaminated, use tweezers as you have been doing, AIDS is a very dangerous disease and spreads quickly through your skin.

[Lizreu]

Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner

PS. NEVER touch the mail with your hands until decontaminated, use tweezers as you have been doing, AIDS is a very dangerous disease and spreads quickly through your skin.

Can you back this up with scripture?

[Immaculate Kiwi]

Originally Posted by Lizreu

Can you back this up with scripture?

Leviticus 13:52 KJV
He shall therefore burn that garment, whether warp or woof, in woollen or in linen, or any thing of skin, wherein the plague is: for it is a fretting leprosy; it shall be burnt in the fire.

A befouled, muddy gay tongue sealing the envelope's of my correspondence! You must be sick my dear friend; have you being tested for Aid's lately? I will pray for you.

In God I trust,

I.Kiwi

[Living_Water]

I've set all the bank notes and all the possible bills to come by email. I also only order online newspapers. If I can't get a service that bills be electronically I try not to use their service.
As far as I know the homer-disease doesn't spread digitally. This is a great way to lessen the risk of getting AIDS.

On other cases when I can't avoid getting risky paper mail I use the freezer method to kill AIDS germs.

I really endorse informative threads like this. Good job brother Alphonse!

[ClanketyClank]

I feel like I should warn you that the HIV virus would not be able to infect you through such casual contact - even if a person infected with AIDS were to cough or sneeze on the envelope before you took it, there would be no risk of it infecting you, as saliva carries a negligible amount of the virus.

Regardless, as long as you are a True Christian and not one of the homosexuals, God will surely protect you from his curse upon them, will he not?

[Alphonse Alban]

Originally Posted by ClanketyClank

I feel like I should warn you that the HIV virus would not be able to infect you through such casual contact - even if a person infected with AIDS were to cough or sneeze on the envelope before you took it, there would be no risk of it infecting you, as saliva carries a negligible amount of the virus.

You are sick person! I think you are a gaysexual yourself.
We all know that you can get the homo virus even by talking to a homer.

So you don't fool anyone with your evil propaganda.

[Alan Roberts Jr.]

Originally Posted by ClanketyClank

I feel like I should warn you that the HIV virus would not be able to infect you through such casual contact - even if a person infected with AIDS were to cough or sneeze on the envelope before you took it, there would be no risk of it infecting you, as saliva carries a negligible amount of the virus.

Regardless, as long as you are a True Christian and not one of the homosexuals, God will surely protect you from his curse upon them, will he not?

[a fuzzy sloth]

I'm fully aware that biology is a great evil because it speaks of the cursed cells that comprise us all, but in order to abominate all known bacteria and viruses, the appropriate temperature is 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

[wait_what]

Originally Posted by a fuzzy sloth

I'm fully aware that biology is a great evil because it speaks of the cursed cells that comprise us all, but in order to abominate all known bacteria and viruses, the appropriate temperature is 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

What about hyperthermophiles? Specifically Geogemma Barossi?

[MitzaLizalor]

gamma irradiation sounds promising

effluent
Swine vesicular disease
vesicular stomatitis
blue-tongue virus
Pseudorabies
fowl plague

swine vesicular disease (again! they seem to like this one - or is there a hidden agaeda?) and vesicular stomatitis virus (oooh! another fave rave in the AIDS LAB?) were irradiated in liquid animal feces

“The D10 values, that is, the doses required to reduce infectivity by 1 log10, were not apparently different from those expected from predictions based on other data and theoretical considerations. The existence of the viruses in pieces of tissue or in liquid feces made no difference in the efficacy of the gamma radiation for inactivating them. Under the "worst case" conditions (most protective for virus) simulated in this study, no infectious agents would survive 4.0 Mrads.”

[True talk]

There is no cure for being gay, be loud, be strong, be gay.

<3
Me

[Dr Hadrian Sniderman]

Originally Posted by True talk

There is no cure for being gay, be loud, be strong, be gay.

<3
Me

A strong gay? Surely not.

[wait_what]

Originally Posted by True talk

There is no cure for being gay, be loud, be strong, be gay.

<3
Me

That is like saying be a tall midget. Strong gays. pffft. Who ever heard of such a thing?!

They are awful loud though. One of the myriad reasons they are an abomination.

[a fuzzy sloth]

extremophiles are generally harmless to humans.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by a fuzzy sloth

extremophiles are generally harmless to humans.

I just searched the thread AND The American Siciety for Microbiology article I linked to for "extremophile(s)" and yes there is one mention:

[wait_what]

Originally Posted by a fuzzy sloth

extremophiles are generally harmless to humans.

I'm sorry, did you answer my question?

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by wait_what

I'm sorry, did you answer my question?

That poster would probably be unaware when question was asked or an answer given.

Originally Posted by a fuzzy sloth

……all known bacteria and viruses, the appropriate temperature is 165 degrees Fahrenheit.

Staphylococcus aureus requires min. autoclave 20 minutes @ 121°C (that's about 250°F)

Boils
Abscesses
Impetigo
Meningitis
Osteomyelitis
Pneumonia
Septic phlebitisn
Endocarditis

[Dom-inatedByGod]

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

Or is there some even more effective way?

Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.

As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.

It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.

After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.

Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.

So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.

This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?

Ah yes, AIDs by mail, many of my friends have been infected with this (i think they were having sex with the mail man though, but i cant be sure which way they got infected).

I told them the error of their ways