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Default Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-15-2023, 05:56 PM

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He’ll be back — this Christmas, when Roper Crossburn returns to terminate the boredom of music fans everywhere. Judgment day is coming for an industry addled by wokeness, whose creative juices have long since run dry.

This Machine Kills… arrives December 25, and not a moment too soon. America needs this one.



While the Guthriesque title was censored for wide release, Crossburn has come to prefer its open-ended form.

“My music obliterates sin on contact,” he says. “And this record is aimed at all sinners: perverts, heathens, liars, and above all, groomers.”

His crusade against pedophilia has never flagged, but recent events have lent it new urgency. With haunted eyes, Crossburn describes one such incident, which occurred during an evening news special on drag queens.

“They got this little boy all tarted up like a female twice his age. Before I knew it, I felt an infernal swelling that only a knife could relieve. Twenty stitches it took to fix what the Devil had done.”

Crossburn’s knack for biting satire is evident from the opener, Pronouns: F***/Joe/Biden, which parallels the president’s spiraling dementia with the gender confusion of a fuchsia-haired teen. Lines such as “Boy or girl, up or down? / How’d we all become such clowns?” seem destined to reverberate through arenas.

Other songs, like When Will God Send Willie Nelson to Hell?, are almost naďve in their frankness. “One of the worst devils alive, he is,” says Crossburn of his fellow crooner. “Narcotics kill a hundred men a day, and still he pushes that accursed weed like it’s manna from Heaven.”

And then there is So Long Steve, a touching tribute to a fan who passed away suddenly at a country festival in Nevada.
“I’ll never forget the gleam in your eye
On the night you told me your plan.
How the fire of God rained down from on high,
And the sinners, like rodents, they ran.”
Though its lyrics are shrouded in mystery, the emotion behind them is plain to hear. Few artists blend sincerity and wit as elegantly as the Voice of Freehold.

Collaborations have dotted Crossburn’s career over the years, and his new album features several. Appearing throughout is 14-year-old guitar prodigy Rosa Sanchez, whom Crossburn discovered while volunteering at an ICE detention center. The mournful mastery of her playing drew him to her cell.

“Turned out, she had clung to her daddy’s guitar to stay afloat while he and her ma drowned in the Rio.”

After a spirited baptism in which Sanchez renounced her Catholic past, the two got busy laying down tracks.

“The Lord’s plan is a funny thing,” Roper muses. “Just as these old fingers are wearing out, along comes Rosa. Lovely smile, plays like an angel, and no speaké Americano, which means no lip.

“Got nearly the same name as my wife, too.”

Rosie Crossburn went missing in 2018. Last year, a truffle-hunting dog unearthed her remains near the family ranch, and the Freehold County Sheriff’s Office ruled her death a suicide by self-burial. The loss changed Roper forever, both personally and professionally.

“Imagine you had a 140-pound tumor on your back that you never knew was there until a surgeon excised it.”

The great ones know to save the best for last. On the closer, Ashes of Truth, a hip-hop artist joins Crossburn for the first time, and his name is a major one: Ye, formerly Kanye West. After Ye’s comments on Jewish media influence sparked an uproar, Crossburn was quick to offer him a spot on the album.

“Ebony, ivory / Stand against Jewry,” Ye raps over a chopped and screwed sample of the Schindler’s List theme. This is real diversity, and a landmark in music history.

Yes, we know what you’re wondering.

Did Ye give Roper permission?

“Yeah, he said I could say it. And you best believe I did.” The childlike glee on his face is unmistakable.

To hear Roper Crossburn say the word — and many more besides — you’ll have to buy This Machine Kills… as soon as it hits stores.

We guarantee you won’t regret doing so.



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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-15-2023, 09:15 PM

It's inspiring to hear that Roper is back. His music speaks to us.

Often, when musicians are interviewed the interviewer will ask, "What or who influenced you?" I'd like to hear how Roper would answer that.

To me, Roper clearly fits in the genre of country music call Outlaws. One of the other big outlaws is David Allen Coe.

We are going to see Trump using Roper's music to fire up crowds at his rallies.

Long Haired Redneck - David Allan Coe, RARE 1974 Video Performance - YouTube


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-15-2023, 09:19 PM

Literally, there isn't a soul in Freehold, Iowa who hasn't been waiting for this album. Thank Jesus for Roper Crossburn!


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-16-2023, 01:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
It's inspiring to hear that Roper is back. His music speaks to us.

Often, when musicians are interviewed the interviewer will ask, "What or who influenced you?" I'd like to hear how Roper would answer that.

To me, Roper clearly fits in the genre of country music call Outlaws. One of the other big outlaws is David Allen Coe.

We are going to see Trump using Roper's music to fire up crowds at his rallies.

Long Haired Redneck - David Allan Coe, RARE 1974 Video Performance - YouTube
I would definitely consider myself an outlaw. Do I break the law? No. But I also don't give a damn what society thinks of me or my music. And I've always been a fan of Mr. Coe.

There were a lot of good protest singers back in the 60s and 70s. John Prine, Dylan before New York pussy ruined him... Hell, even Neil Young had a few decent tunes. He couldn't sing them, but on paper they were solid. Problem was, those guys were all damn liberals! And they were miserable because of it. I wasn't surprised when Abby Hoffman and Phil Ochs killed themselves, nor will I be when Neil does it.

Look, I protested the war myself. And then you know what I did? I cut my hair, got a job, and got on with my life.

Now, a fellow I really admired was my late friend Clifford "Pee Wee" Trahan, otherwise known as Johnny Rebel. He was a lot like Coe, but he was too outrageous to ever get on the radio... seriously, you've got to hear this guy! He wrote a few songs about blacks that got their hair in a kink (well, more of one), but it was all in good fun. I know for a fact he didn't have a racist bone in his body.

Cliff was more than just an influence. He was actually something of a mentor to me.



Love him or hate him, there sure aren't many folks like him left. God bless you, Cliff.



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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-16-2023, 03:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roper Crossburn View Post
I would definitely consider myself an outlaw. Do I break the law? No. But I also don't give a damn what society thinks of me or my music. And I've always been a fan of Mr. Coe.
What an honor, Mr. Crossburn, to hear from you and learn of your friends high in the entertainment world. I'm thinking you might have known the late outlaw singer, Johnny Paycheck. John was in prison a couple of times. Once it involved a 13 year old girl fan but it was never clear what happened. A few years later a bullet from his gun grazed a man's head after an argument in a bar. It was an accident, John said. Nevertheless, he talked often about his closeness to God and had success in country music. His biggest hit was the outlaw song "Take This Job and Shove It."

Johnny Paycheck - "Take This Job And Shove It" - YouTube


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-16-2023, 04:44 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Once it involved a 13 year old girl fan but it was never clear what happened.
There is a right way and a wrong way to have sex with a 13-year old girl. The right way is the Biblical way--seek her father out, ask for her hand in marriage, negotiate a bride price, marry her, and then enter the marital bed.

Johnny Paycheck chose the wrong way. But he did his time and paid his debt to society, and, more importantly, Jesus forgave his sins. So, all-in-all, no harm, no foul.


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-16-2023, 04:59 PM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
There is a right way and a wrong way to have sex with a 13-year old girl. The right way is the Biblical way--seek her father out, ask for her hand in marriage, negotiate a bride price, marry her, and then enter the marital bed.

Johnny Paycheck chose the wrong way. But he did his time and paid his debt to society, and, more importantly, Jesus forgave his sins. So, all-in-all, no harm, no foul.
Same as the you-know-what word. There's a right way to say it - with permission from a representative of their side - and a wrong way. I think Roper's music does more to bridge the divide between our races than any number of liberal activists superglueing themselves to pieces of art. I'll tell you what's a piece of art - listening to Roper croaking in your ear after a bottle of rye.


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-16-2023, 11:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
I'll tell you what's a piece of art - listening to Roper croaking in your ear after a bottle of rye.
The more Ol' Rooster drinks, the better he sounds. (And his stories get wilder). We should find out what brand of rye he drinks and send a case to every other country singer.


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-19-2023, 01:53 PM

Mr Crossburn

If you have ever visited the poet section of this forum, you have run across my classic songs and other forms of verse.


Frankly, I am puzzled that you haven't had your people contact me about a collaboration. I could easily travel with you to perform our hits in between the horses I service. I represent the young, manly Christian community and would bring a certain clientele to your shows.


I don't beg but I willingly get on my knees for the right chance to show the world my talent. I await your positive reply.


In the Chief Musician,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-19-2023, 02:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Roper Crossburn View Post
I would definitely consider myself an outlaw. Do I break the law? No. But I also don't give a damn what society thinks of me or my music.
I'm concerned for your soul, Roper. Your outlaw persona is so attractive to women. Harlots flock to outlaw performances, wait for the performer afterwards and then the sin begins.

I pray you do not yield to temptations.




Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Bible Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-19-2023, 03:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I'm concerned for your soul, Roper. Your outlaw persona is so attractive to women. Harlots flock to outlaw performances, wait for the performer afterwards and then the sin begins.

I pray you do not yield to temptations.

Oh, my word! Most assuredly, I hope that those harlotty women will leave dear Brother Crossburn alone, and not tempt him with their "wares". Especially, I pray that Brother Roper will be very careful of the younger, unscrupulous ones that might try to cash in on his fame — such as that demon-possessed Taylor Swift and her legion of demonic fans!

Quote:
A former MAGA candidate for Georgia governor went on an angry tirade this week against pop megastar Taylor Swift for supposedly promoting the works of Satan.

Writing on Twitter, MAGA podcaster and failed gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor slammed Swift for supposedly turning to the dark side and pushing her fans into witchcraft.
https://www.msn.com/en-ca/entertainm...ft/ar-AA1ivrEM

But, fear not! The shall prevail, and He shall protect dear Brother Crossburn, and all Crossburn fans from the powers of Satan's witchcraft, as is promised so gloriously within the blessed !

Revelation 12: 11 "And they overcame him by the of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death."

Whilst we have the reassuring protection of , we must still be on guard for future attacks from Satan!

I Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:"





(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

Last edited by Isabella White; 10-20-2023 at 02:39 PM. Reason: Corrected error in formatting.
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-20-2023, 01:54 PM

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Revelation 20:1-3 And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, and cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.
There are others who can write poetry of course – but this is not the place for futile squabbles when there's a serious issue at hand. Satan. If indeed his 1,000 year sentence has recently been completed and he's out of the hole, that means he was sealed up around 1022 or 1023, with the possibility it was 948 and he's been getting back into the swing of things. And whether serpent or dragon his liberty to get himselves tattooed on people's necks helps us to understand that Jesus will be returning soon.
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This would be a great theme for a song, with appropriately sophisticated lyrics using words that actually rhyme, and I'm available to assist in any way I can. I won't be visiting the "poetry" section so best pm me, or post here, either is cool.
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-23-2023, 03:57 AM

I note that Roper has failed to respond to me here and that's no surprise. I am not starstruck by him like so many are. When I record my new album and it outsells his, just remember Crossburn, you coulda been a part of musical history. Just remember.

Songwriting talent from Christ is my game,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 10-23-2023, 06:57 AM

Nauseating though it has been, today there was some material from the first millennium needing review concerning icons. Apparently they channel energies having tangible effect in the real world, such as healing or inspiring devotional glurge. There are two points here. Firstly, why glurge?

The setting was assorted splinterings-off of made-up creeds, spawning heretics right & left, from early gatherings where discussions were held by the least able. “How come they were the least able if they managed to cement dogma in place?” you may wonder. Because if they were the most able no disputes would have arisen to begin with. Two of the better known outcomes were the so-called catholic and orthodox traditions where glurge is too kind a word: just read a page of their stuff: 200% ethylene glycol on steroids (which is why it's 200%) bringing us to the second point.

Those beacons of mediocrity are of minor interest because they belong to a minor branch of history we call The Past – perhaps fascinating to a certain type of person among whom the well-oiled Crossburn is not numbered: real history is Future History. Jesus provides quite a lot of information from His own experience helping us to appreciate firm meat (as opposed to watery treacle) and His revelations are as not-glurge as it's possible to get. From the very first Baptist to today that message is certain.

The gifts of the Spirit include music of course, as exemplified in King David and his future heir: Jesus – and Jesus in us. That is where Roper looks to harvests his music vigorously in the wind. I see him as a tornado, able to channel that more perfect History to us all.
Revelation 22:17 (an example of not-glurge)
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come.
And let him that heareth say, Come.
And let him that is athirst come.
And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 12-06-2023, 05:50 AM

Less than three weeks until release! Mark my words, this album is going to be the best thing to drop on Christmas since Jesus in the manger!


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Default Re: Crossburn Delivers Well-Oiled ‘Machine’ - 12-06-2023, 10:12 AM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Less than three weeks until release! Mark my words, this album is going to be the best thing to drop on Christmas since Jesus in the manger!
Manger?
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Default That Roper Guy can't sing worth beans - 02-11-2024, 09:05 AM

Squealing goats sound better than this Roper twit & all you guys who think he is so great should just go and [*** UNSUITABLE CUSSING REMOVED FROM THIS GODLY SITE BY STEADFAST MODERATOR ***]

Last edited by Isabella White; 02-11-2024 at 02:41 PM. Reason: Vulgar talk removed from this family-friendly forum.
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Default Re: That Roper Guy can't sing worth beans - 02-18-2024, 09:24 AM

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Originally Posted by Matthewcig View Post
Squealing goats sound better than this Roper twit & all you guys who think he is so great should just go and

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Default Re: That Roper Guy can't sing worth beans - 02-19-2024, 08:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Matthewcig View Post
Squealing goats sound better than this Roper twit & all you guys who think he is so great should just go and
I'll be the first to admit Roper sounds better in the studio but that's no excuse not to see him live before he sings shouts sings his last high f e d# d c. I saw him. every. single. time.


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Default Re: That Roper Guy can't sing worth beans - 02-19-2024, 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
Originally Posted by Matthewcig
D# is always an interesting key, especially in its minor mode, and Roper always does it justice.

Interspersed between Aristophanes, Johnathan Swift and Evelyn Waugh occasionally there's been a semi-interesting effort worth a second glance; unfortunately Matthewcig's contribution never rose to that level, despite my offering the accommodationą of a dream, sweet or otherwise.
THE DREAM˛
Behold I dreamed a dream and I saw a New Earth sacred to HAPPINESS. There amid all that Nature and Art could offer to elevate the Soul of Man I saw the Happy Resting Place of Countless Loved Ones. And I saw the Waiting Ones who still stood at the brink of that narrow stream that now separated them from those who had gone before. Young and old, they were happy too. Happy in Beauty, Happy in the certain knowledge that their Loved Ones were very near, in Beauty and Happiness such as the earth cannot give.

I heard a voice say: 'Do this.'

And behold I awoke and in the Light and Promise of my DREAM I made WHISPERING GLADES.

ENTER STRANGER and BE HAPPY.

Sadly, in this case, our stranger chose to do a vomit instead. So disappointing.
1. an "escape route" for future, better informed, posting
2. https://gutenberg.ca/ebooks/waughe-lovedone/waughe-lovedone-00-h.html
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