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Brother Wes Brother Wes is offline
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-04-2009, 07:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LissyLovesHerself View Post
Hmm. Do you guys really think its right to beat your wives? If so then not good. Jesus doesnt want that. You poor, poor naive people. This saddens me.
By the way, you beat your wife when shes pregnant, you'll go to jail for possibly the rest of your life if caught. Have fun worshipping God from the cellar!
Mean and Woman are EQUAL! =)
I pray that GOD will send you a GODLY husband who can properly discipline you and show you the way. This is a SERIOUS problem we're discussing here; we have no time for ungodly inquiries such as yours.


Ezekiel 23:20 is a wonderful verse, but PLEASE use only the one true version of God's Holy Word: The KJV1611 Authorized version.
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-05-2009, 12:44 AM

I fear it is far too late for this poor lost soul.

She would undoubtedly enjoy whatever punishment we humans could inflict upon her.

Satan is sharpening his barbs for her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Wes View Post
I pray that GOD will send you a GODLY husband who can properly discipline you and show you the way. This is a SERIOUS problem we're discussing here; we have no time for ungodly inquiries such as yours.


Sara Palin in 2016!
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-05-2009, 01:38 AM

Beating your wife is illegal, @$$hole. Also, maybe she was cleaning it. Sounds like you're a control freak, too. [sarcasm]This site is full of lovely people.[sarcasm/].
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-05-2009, 04:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatguy View Post
Beating your wife is illegal, @$$hole. Also, maybe she was cleaning it. Sounds like you're a control freak, too. [sarcasm]This site is full of lovely people.[sarcasm/].
It is not illegal. If it was illegal to hit someone then boxing, ice hockey and dwarf tossing would all be illegal too. It is only illegal if the other person doesn't want to be hit and a Godly True Christian wife understands the importance of discipline.


Jesus, I'm never going to give you up! Jesus, I'm never going to let you down!
Jesus, I'm never going to run around and desert you!
Jesus, I'm never going to make you cry! Jesus, I'm never going to say goodbye!
Jesus, I'm never going to tell a lie and hurt you!
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-06-2009, 03:16 PM

idiots!! Sexuality is evolutional burned in your dna, why do you think priests abuse litlle boys? because they are not allowed to have a woman, idiots!!
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-06-2009, 03:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by father Wilders View Post
idiots!! Sexuality is evolutional burned in your dna, why do you think priests abuse litlle boys? because they are not allowed to have a woman, idiots!!
Hold on: are you telling us you are SO STUPID that you don't know the difference between cathlycks, protestants, and US?

You little stupid bong sniffing finger-in-dyke sticking underachieving Dutch maggot. I bet you even LOOK like Balkenende.

Of course us Pastors are allowed to marry. Get with the program, you are not half as smart as you think you are.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-06-2009, 03:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by father Wilders View Post
idiots!! Sexuality is evolutional burned in your dna, why do you think priests abuse litlle boys? because they are not allowed to have a woman, idiots!!
Catholic priests abuse little boys, and are not allowed to marry, because they belong to a depraved cult in which they worship a demon disguised as Christ's mother. You don't see us True Christians™ doing that.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-07-2009, 02:50 PM

I was thinkin about how the gals used to bathe in Petticoat Junction. Sort of makse sense to me. Frees up the bathroom from their hour long ordeal!


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theunderdog theunderdog is offline
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-08-2009, 07:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Nonsense brother, beat the hellfire out of her! In the old days a REAL man never hesitated to throw his wife a good beating, regardless of whether she was pregnant or not. Back then they didn't buy into all this liberal sissy sensitivity and tolerance foolishness. Pound her HARD.

My father used to slug momma in the gut when she was pregnant with me, and it taught her AND me a lesson! I turned out fine, so will your son!

EDIT: Brother Nobar has some good advice, but make sure she doesn't take a step-ladder into the shower with her to enable her to reach the mounted shower head.
No, you did not turn out "fine". The fact that you're even on this forum (and have a good reputation) confirms that. Beating pregnant women can result in the baby having deformities, mental/physical retardations, and lots of other things. I believe someone else said this already, but I'll say it again. Beating a woman is the ultimate form of cowardice. It means that you don't have the balls to fight a man, or like one. That's like sneaking up behind someone then shooting them in the back of the head. Oh, and I'm sure that this will ban me, so I'll say a few things. 1: I'm a queer. Yeah, didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you? 2: This goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. Evey single person on this forum who isn't classified as unsaved trash or worse will DEFINITELY (I mean beyond a shadow of a doubt) be going to Hell (don't even try to edit this and switch it to Heaven, denying it isn't going to change a damn thing). Why? Because lying is a sin, as well as nearly eveything else that you do. 3: For those of you who pretend that you're really important (this goes for you Nobar, Ezekiel, and others): you're not. Period. I really don't care if you have the power to ban me, it doesn't mean anything outside this forum. Sorry everyone I've become friends with to leave you so soon, but it's necessary to get my point across. Finally, when you're standing at the gates of Hell, waiting to go in and burn for everything you've done, I like to entertain the notion that the only thought going through your mind will be "I should have listened to them". Because you will. Delete this post if you will, but all unsaved trash, try to quote this as much as possible so that more people see it. And with that, as the French say, adieu.
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-08-2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theunderminer View Post
Beating pregnant women can result in the baby having deformities, mental/physical retardations, and lots of other things.
All of these things result from the fact That the baby made Jesus angry while in utero.

Quote:
I believe someone else said this already, but I'll say it again. Beating a woman is the ultimate form of cowardice. It means that you don't have the balls to fight a man, or like one.
God commands that women be correctly guided to Salvation©.




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-09-2009, 04:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theunderdog View Post
No, you did not turn out "fine". The fact that you're even on this forum (and have a good reputation) confirms that. Beating pregnant women can result in the baby having deformities, mental/physical retardations, and lots of other things. I believe someone else said this already, but I'll say it again. Beating a woman is the ultimate form of cowardice. It means that you don't have the balls to fight a man, or like one. That's like sneaking up behind someone then shooting them in the back of the head. Oh, and I'm sure that this will ban me, so I'll say a few things. 1: I'm a queer. Yeah, didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you? 2: This goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway. Evey single person on this forum who isn't classified as unsaved trash or worse will DEFINITELY (I mean beyond a shadow of a doubt) be going to Hell (don't even try to edit this and switch it to Heaven, denying it isn't going to change a damn thing). Why? Because lying is a sin, as well as nearly eveything else that you do. 3: For those of you who pretend that you're really important (this goes for you Nobar, Ezekiel, and others): you're not. Period. I really don't care if you have the power to ban me, it doesn't mean anything outside this forum. Sorry everyone I've become friends with to leave you so soon, but it's necessary to get my point across. Finally, when you're standing at the gates of Hell, waiting to go in and burn for everything you've done, I like to entertain the notion that the only thought going through your mind will be "I should have listened to them". Because you will. Delete this post if you will, but all unsaved trash, try to quote this as much as possible so that more people see it. And with that, as the French say, adieu.
Just look at the hatred that eminates from these unsaved demons! Brothers and sisters, I hope you will all read this sodomites final rant and memorize it! See how we rattle satan's cage at Landover Baptist!! While we have done nothing but shower this angry little queer with the love of Christ, he has chosen to reject that love and spit in God's face, condemning itself to an eternity in hellfire.

And I'd be willing to bet my Pastor's monthly stipend that this little maggot is going to slither back in here for yet another dramatic exit.

Jesus always wins!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-16-2009, 01:32 AM

You know, I think that people like the original poster who instantly thought his wife was in the shower masturbating is actually the one doing it himself. People who are guilty of something are always quick to scapegoat others to take the attention off themselves...



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-16-2009, 02:02 AM

Maybe you tight-assed Christians should try taking a shower once in a while with your wife. You might actually enjoy it.


Things are going to get worse before they get better.
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-16-2009, 03:55 AM

I don't know about that, Palmer. I get the feeling that the average TC BMI is 35......



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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-16-2009, 03:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
People who are guilty of something are always quick to scapegoat others to take the attention off themselves...
Like unsaved trash who constantly accuse us True Christians™ of being bigoted, hate-filled, and intolerant?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-22-2009, 07:03 PM

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Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
All of these things result from the fact That the baby made Jesus angry while in utero.
Wow! You guys even deny what medical science has discovered in the past 200 years? You guys are incredible
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-22-2009, 07:14 PM

Medical science? Why are they going back to leeches and maggots then???

http://www.livescience.com/health/050419_maggots.html

Quote:
Pam Mitchell knew the maggots were working when her foot started bleeding.
Four years ago, a small cut on Mitchell's left heel turned into an diabetes-related infection two inches wide and down to the bone. Another wound developed in her right foot, owing to dry, cracked skin. Doctors tried everything--creams, antibiotics--but nothing worked.
"My doctor told me to give it up, see a psychologist, and have my foot amputated," she recalls.
Mitchell, now 52, had to make a decision soon because the powerful antibiotic that doctors prescribed for her infection was also wreaking havoc on her bones. Mitchell was preparing to undergo a dangerous bone marrow transplant when a friend remembered watching a TV show about European doctors using maggots to treat wounds like Mitchell's. With nothing to lose, she tried it.


Mitchell found a dermatologist willing to perform the procedure, and soon had 600 live maggots wriggling inside the wound on her left foot, 400 in her right, where they were sealed in gauze and left for two days.
Grudging acceptance
When it came time to remove the maggots, Mitchell's doctor was more than a little repulsed. "He had never dealt with them before and he said it was like watching a Wes Craven movie," Mitchell remembers. He was also impressed, because the maggot treatment seemed to be working.
Over the course of 10 such treatments, wounds that months of expensive procedures could not mend began to heal.
Today, Mitchell walks normally and both wounds are completely healed. She is now a member of the board for the Biotherapeutics Education and Research Foundation, a non-profit organization that promotes the medical use of maggots.
"They didn't just save my feet, they saved my life," Mitchell told LiveScience. "They're better than anything man can come up with because I've tried everything."


Maggot therapy is just one example of a medical approach called biotherapy -- the use of living animals to aid in medical diagnosis or treatment. Leeches are another example.
In ancient times, leeches were used to treat everything from headaches to ear infections to hemorrhoids. Historians think Egyptians used leech therapy 3,500 years ago. The treatments were back in vogue during the Middle Ages, and again in the 1800s.
Nowadays, leeches are routinely used to drain blood from swollen faces, limbs and digits after reconstructive surgery.
They are especially useful when reattaching small parts that contain many blood vessels, like ears, where blood clots can easily form in veins that normally drain blood from tissues. If the clots are severe, the tissues can die -- drowned in the body's own fluid -- because they are deprived of oxygen and other vital nutrients.
Scientists are also looking at using leeches to treat other ailments. Studies led by Andreas Michalsen, a researcher at the University of Duisburg-Essen in Germany, suggests leech therapy may lessen the pain and inflammation associated with osteoarthritis, a debilitating disease where bones can grind against one another because the cartilage has been worn down.






Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 03-22-2009, 07:14 PM

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Originally Posted by argarg View Post
Wow! You guys even deny what medical science has discovered in the past 200 years? You guys are incredible
Medical Science? The Bible tells us 1Tm:6:20: O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

And so it is, God has a Plan and medical science is a thing of the Devil designed to thwart that Great Plan - it is Ungodly.





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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 04-01-2009, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
All of these things result from the fact That the baby made Jesus angry while in utero.

God commands that women be correctly guided to Salvation©.
This is the most retard commented ive ever heard in my life , I are a piffleing retard
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Default Re: Are showers the women's ride to Satan's arms? - 04-01-2009, 11:26 PM

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Originally Posted by I am retards View Post
This is the most retard commented ive ever heard in my life , I are a piffleing retard
Hmmm... never read a Bible eh, but willing to criticize?

Lu:1:41: And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:

So we see that even in the womb a child can be moved by strong emotion. Jesus, of course can do anything.

1st Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1st Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.



And so we see it is Man’s duty to guide women.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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