Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:01 AM
Friends, I can't tell you how shocked I am. Earlier today I was visiting with my Uncle Phil and Aunt Meg in Des Moines. It seemed like things were going well, I spent the morning witnessing to them and then we took time out for a hearty lunch - and I do mean hearty! I stuffed myself full of different meats, enjoying sandwiches and delicious soup, but I took in a little too much and had to lay down for a nap.
When I woke up, I discovered to my horror that Uncle Phil had given me a pearl necklace while I slept! It was right there, on my ch*st! I was so revolted that he would do such a thing that I couldn't bring myself to touch it, so I grabbed a nearby towel and brushed it off as quickly as I could!
After I calmed down, I grabbed my Bible and explained why he shouldn't be going around giving women pearl necklaces! Not even his wife!
1Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array
No pearl necklaces, no pearl earrings, no pearl ANYTHING!
Uncle Phil apologized and asked me not to tell anyone about his breach of morality, that he just thought I would like it and that he thought a pearl necklace would look good on me, but after talking to my husband, Mr. Whitford, we thought this would be a great witnessing tale to share with the world. God bless you all!
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:10 AM
Mrs. Whitford, I have given my nieces many gifts while they are sleeping, but I would never, EVER think of giving them a pearl necklace...it just seems so unclean and improper to me.
I mean, pearls come from OYSTERS for goodness sake! I'm no geologist, but I'm pretty sure they don't have fins or scales:
(Leviticus 11:12) "Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you."
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:15 AM
I always give the special women in my life a pearl necklace. Each pearl symbolizes pureness of spirit.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:23 AM
When I was an unSaved© whore, I used to love wearing pearl necklaces. I can't quite remember exactly how many I've had over the years, but in those days it was rare to see me without a large string of pearls around my neck.
In fact, I remember one instance in particular where a customer gave me one. I, err, gave him a freebie, and at the end of the session he gave me the biggest, most luxurious pearl necklace I've ever seen! I guess he can't have been as broke as he let on, or maybe he was testing me or something.
Of course, ever since I've repented of my sluttishness and became a True Christian™ I can proudly say that my neck has been pearl-free.
|
|
Claims not to be a dago slut Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
|
|
Posts: 1,307
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alcoy, Spain
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
When I was an unSaved© whore, I used to love wearing pearl necklaces. I can't quite remember exactly how many I've had over the years, but in those days it was rare to see me without a large string of pearls around my neck.
In fact, I remember one instance in particular where a customer gave me one. I, err, gave him a freebie, and at the end of the session he gave me the biggest, most luxurious pearl necklace I've ever seen!
Of course, ever since I've repented of my sluttishness and became a True Christian™ I can proudly say that my neck has been pearl-free.
|
What is 'freebie'??
And what is the conexión whit the pearls??
YIC, Mari (Confuse - as always whit the amercian lenguage)
Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
My favorite verse from the Bible is:
- A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.
|
|
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos
What is 'freebie'??
And what is the conexión whit the pearls??
|
Ah, a freebie would be something given away for free, Sister. Now that I think about it, the pearls might have been meant for his wife or something!
I'm glad I've left that part of my life behind me now. The thought that I may have inadvertently stolen a string of pearls (which we shouldn't be wearing anyways! ) that rightfully belonged to another woman just sickens and depresses me.
|
|
Claims not to be a dago slut Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
|
|
Posts: 1,307
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alcoy, Spain
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
Ah, a freebie would be something given away for free, Sister. Now that I think about it, the pearls might have been meant for his wife or something!
I'm glad I've left that part of my life behind me now. The thought that I may have inadvertently stolen a string of pearls (which we shouldn't be wearing anyways! ) that rightfully belonged to another woman just sickens and depresses me.
|
Ah, OK. SO you stole pearls from him. Then stole them again?
The freebie was that?
Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
My favorite verse from the Bible is:
- A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.
|
|
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos
Ah, OK. SO you stole pearls from him. Then stole them again?
The freebie was that?
|
Yes, that's it. Let's leave it at that, Mari.
|
|
Claims not to be a dago slut Unintelligible motor-mouthed Spaniardess; earplugs advised
|
|
Posts: 1,307
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alcoy, Spain
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
Yes, that's it. Let's leave it at that, Mari.
|
Oh. Am I holding wrong end of your stick..again?
Now I'm even more confuse about freebie - I mean, would be OK foe ME give a freebie to someone I like , maybe my grandmother, but must it be something especific type of freebie or is something more general?
???
Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
My favorite verse from the Bible is:
- A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 03:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I always give the special women in my life a pearl necklace. Each pearl symbolizes pureness of spirit.
|
By "special" do you mean the unsaved trash in your extended family, with a reminder to them to read 1 Timothy 2:9?
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
By "special" do you mean the unsaved trash in your extended family, with a reminder to them to read 1 Timothy 2:9?
|
No, not them, and actually it was only twice to two different women. I was hoping that things would work out better than they did, but, oh well.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 04:52 AM
The Queen loves to receive a pearl necklace. I believe that she has had a few over the years from Philip but also received pearl necklaces from the heads of many other countries.
She is supposed to be the head of The Church of England.
It wouldn't surprise me if Kate hasn't received one from William already.
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
|
|
True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
|
|
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-01-2011, 08:48 PM
Pearls, how gauche. I am so sorry for you Mrs. Whitford. At least they were not Black Pearls.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 05:46 AM
I'm pretty horrified that your uncle would give you the pearl necklace to which his wife was undoubtedly entitled.
Was she upset?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 151
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: In an igloo on a frozen tundra
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 05:52 AM
Maybe next time your uncle wants to give you a gift he'll go for something more modest. Like a delicious creampie.
Revelation 22:1:
And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 07:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I'm pretty horrified that your uncle would give you the pearl necklace to which his wife was undoubtedly entitled.
Was she upset?
|
Not at all! She's not saved, so she not only thought it was a fine idea, but she encouraged him! She said, "I just couldn't wait to see the look on your face. I was sure you'd enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed seeing him give it to you." That just shows how little she knows me! I don't want a pearl necklace at all, not from any man and especially not my uncle!
|
|
As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 07:43 AM
What a story! My father says pearls are a great way to recognize sluts.
I Jesus!
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 07:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity
What a story! My father says pearls are a great way to recognize sluts.
|
As are gold rings and braided hair.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Living_Water
Maybe next time your uncle wants to give you a gift he'll go for something more modest. Like a delicious creampie.
|
Are you suggesting that her uncle should cook?
Or perhaps that he would ask his wife to prepare a creampie for Sister Mary?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
Not at all! She's not saved, so she not only thought it was a fine idea, but she encouraged him! She said, "I just couldn't wait to see the look on your face. I was sure you'd enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed seeing him give it to you." That just shows how little she knows me! I don't want a pearl necklace at all, not from any man and especially not my uncle!
|
So she WATCHED?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! -
05-02-2011, 04:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Are you suggesting that her uncle should cook?
Or perhaps that he would ask his wife to prepare a creampie for Sister Mary?
So she WATCHED?
|
Why shouldn't she? There's nothing in the Bible about wives not watching while uncles give their nieces pearl necklaces. The only problem is the pearls themselves.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|