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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Salad Time Salad Time is offline
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Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Salad Time is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default hello - 09-22-2014, 06:23 PM
I know you all. You are my neighbors,my in-laws, the people of my youth.
I was raised in the Old testament ways by Godly people,but I became lost in the world of sin .I am truly home.
If you would help me find my way back to JESUS I would humble myself before the almighty and confess and repent my sins. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. I need to come into the fold of the ritigious.i am an unclean vessel . Please let me come home!
Yours in the LORD

This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

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Default Re: hello - 09-22-2014, 06:27 PM
Hello dear, and welcome to our friendly forums! We're happy to help lost souls find their way into the bosom of the Lord!

Tell us where you go to church, what your favorite Bible verse is, how you like to crush the work of Satan in today's dark and evil world!

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

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Default Re: hello - 09-22-2014, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saladintiende View Post
I know you all. You are my neighbors,my in-laws, the people of my youth.
I was raised in the Old testament ways by Godly people,but I became lost in the world of sin .I am truly home.
If you would help me find my way back to JESUS I would humble myself before the almighty and confess and repent my sins. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. I need to come into the fold of the ritigious.i am an unclean vessel . Please let me come home!
Yours in the LORD
Hello, hope to know you too! How was it you were lost and what brought you back to JESUS?! Perhaps a powerful verse (any favorites?) shook you and made you repent your sins!!



Old ways, you say? Here's a verse about the old ways we should fear, obey and follow!

Isaiah 46:9
Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

PS. Intriguing username. The Saladin Tithe! Does this mean that you are prepared to on a crusade against the terrible perils that face our world? Against apostasy, against vile evil lootin', against the oppression of Anglo-Saxon meat-eating straight men, against sodomy!?

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: hello - 09-22-2014, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saladintiende View Post
I know you all. You are my neighbors,my in-laws, the people of my youth.
I was raised in the Old testament ways by Godly people,but I became lost in the world of sin .I am truly home.
If you would help me find my way back to JESUS I would humble myself before the almighty and confess and repent my sins. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. I need to come into the fold of the ritigious.i am an unclean vessel . Please let me come home!
Yours in the LORD
Hi sweetie!

Would you be so kind to post a proper introduction?

Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Thank you!

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
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Default Re: hello - 09-22-2014, 10:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saladintiende View Post
I know you all. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. Yours in the LORD
Dearest Salad,

I beg to differ. You do not know me. I would very much appreciate it if you would not use my name in vain.

Welcome to God's Favorite Forums - the friendliest place on the Interwebs. You will be added to my prayer list, since God would have us pray for all. Perhaps you can tell us more about yourself and the multitude of sins you have committed. And that name of yours: were you hoping to utilize Spanish for "Room of Understanding?" If so, you've misspelled, which is a sin against God when it is committed in His forums.

With warmth,
NRL

1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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(#6)
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Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
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Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: hello - 09-22-2014, 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Dearest Salad,

I beg to differ. You do not know me. I would very much appreciate it if you would not use my name in vain.

Welcome to God's Favorite Forums - the friendliest place on the Interwebs. You will be added to my prayer list, since God would have us pray for all. Perhaps you can tell us more about yourself and the multitude of sins you have committed. And that name of yours: were you hoping to utilize Spanish for "Room of Understanding?" If so, you've misspelled, which is a sin against God when it is committed in His forums.

With warmth,
NRL
I'm afraid that our dear Salad no entiende, Sister Naomi!

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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(#7)
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: hello - 09-23-2014, 02:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saladintiende View Post
I know you all. You are my neighbors,my in-laws, the people of my youth.
I was raised in the Old testament ways by Godly people,but I became lost in the world of sin .I am truly home.
If you would help me find my way back to JESUS I would humble myself before the almighty and confess and repent my sins. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. I need to come into the fold of the ritigious.i am an unclean vessel . Please let me come home!
Yours in the LORD
Dear Salad;

Please take the time to introduce yourself properly. What is your name, age and location? How many sons have you produced for your husband? What Church does your husband take you to?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: hello - 09-23-2014, 09:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saladintiende View Post
I know you all. You are my neighbors,my in-laws, the people of my youth.
I was raised in the Old testament ways by Godly people,but I became lost in the world of sin .I am truly home.
If you would help me find my way back to JESUS I would humble myself before the almighty and confess and repent my sins. I am a little lost lamb among wolves. I need to come into the fold of the ritigious.i am an unclean vessel . Please let me come home!
Yours in the LORD

You appear to be having a psychotic episode, friend. I am neither your in-law, nor your neighbor, nor somebody you knew in your youth.

Pray tell, how long have demons been whispering nonsense in your ear? And are you ready to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and have your demons cast out?

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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