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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-18-2011, 07:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
One question, Fred: When Mr. Michele Bachmann snorted coke and Viagra, did you immediately rebuke him?

I certainly hope so!
I certainly did! You can't believe how expensive coke is in Cambodia! More importantly, it's often cut with all sorts of dangerous chemicals, everything from ecstasy to drain-pipe cleaner. Asia is the wrong continent for that stuff - it all comes from South America.


At least it keeps your nostrils clean

You know, it's like they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." Marcus would have been much wiser to mix his Viagra with heroin or meth - cheap as aspirin in these parts, and 100% quality.

Praise Jesus!
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-18-2011, 03:45 PM
No she won't... And you guys know that too...
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-18-2011, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by JonnaJacobsen View Post
No she won't... And you guys know that too...
Jonna--I don't know why you would be such a pessimist. There is always hope people will find Jesus and become better Christians.

In Mrs. Bachman's case, she retains some liberal views, did not belong to a True Christian™ church, but now has the opportunity to improve herself. She could right now state clearly she will be a submissive wife and apply for membership in LBC.

Who's to say she could not meaure up?

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-18-2011, 06:12 PM
I hope Mrs. Bachman does join Landover, a few of the LOL social groups could use a fresh face and some new recipes.

I did not want to say anything but the brownies I had after Church last Sunday appeared to have lawn clippings in them. You would think after four I would not be hungry but I was ravenous.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-19-2011, 01:42 PM
Those filthy, lying lieberals are at it again.


Quote:
Another Bachmannism: The American People are Worried About “The Rise of the Soviet Union”


By Marie Diamond on Aug 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm


Of all the candidates vying for the GOP presidential nomination, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) perhaps has the most colorful record of flubbing historical facts. Just this week, she wished Elvis Presley a happy birthday …on the day he died. But today, on the right-wing Christian attorney Jay Sekulow’s radio show, the congresswoman evinced a far more disturbing lack of basic knowledge about world history.

Specifically, Bachmann said the American people are worried about "the rise of the Soviet Union.“

Apparently no one’s told her that America’s one-time Cold War nemesis has not existed for 20 years:

BACHMANN: What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward. And especially with this very bad debt ceiling bill, what we have done is given a favor to President Obama and the first thing he’ll whack is five hundred billion out of the military defense at a time when we’re fighting three wars. People recognize that.
Source:
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/20...et-union-flub/
The lovely Michele speaks the truth. We all know those dirty commies are just laying low, waiting to rise again.

Michele is clearly out front on this issue.

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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-25-2011, 05:11 PM
Bachman needs to shut up and stay in the kitchen! God said it's a woman's place to be submissive to men! Ain't gonna have no stinking apple eating whore be my president!
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-25-2011, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Fags Die God Laughs View Post
Bachman needs to shut up and stay in the kitchen! God said it's a woman's place to be submissive to men! Ain't gonna have no stinking apple eating whore be my president!
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 08-25-2011, 05:56 PM
I would like to know what Bachmann means about "our loss militarily going forward." Ours is the mightiest, most well-equipped, most God-favored military in human history. The only time we've ever come close to losing a war was when the wet-blanket peaceniks convinced us to call a truce in Vietnam.

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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 07-09-2014, 05:02 AM
I heard her husband likes to tiptoe through the tulips
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Default Re: Michelle Bachman May Join Landover Baptist - 07-09-2014, 05:32 AM
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Originally Posted by bishop polisher View Post
I heard her husband likes to tiptoe through the tulips
I can see how you would be confused, son. Any other man who let his wife wear the pants in the family would obviously be the pearl-clutching, tulip-tiptoing, subservient spouse at home, but in this case you're mistaken. You see, God personally called her to run for the presidency, so it's not gay.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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