[BrotherLarry]

Today I received an envelope marked "URGENT! INVEST IN HEAVEN TODAY!" from a company called Celestial Storehouse. Inside was a reminder that we should not be collecting treasures here, but rather setting up for our Heavenly Home in Glory. Deuteronomy 32:34 speaks of God's storehouses (notice the plural; for you ladies, that means more than one).


Matthew 6:20 was mentioned in the personalized letter. I was told that rather than tithing to my local church, it is best to tithe to Jesus Himself by setting up a Celestial Storehouse with a recommended weekly donation of $15,000 or more. But that's not all! If I set up an account by February 1, I will also be guaranteed a part of the firmament to call my very own. Imagine all of your heavenly neighbors green with envy over the fact that they do not own a piece of the firmament, but YOU DO! Isn't that a great feeling? I am feeling like shouting Hallelujah. However, since I am an intelligent, handsome, well built certified equine gnathologist, I do not want to squander my riches in Glory. I am therefore coming to you, my brothers in Christ, to tell me what you think a fair price is for such an investment. Is $15,000 too pricey?


I believe in the firmament, as all Christians should - but what will be the need for ownership of it once we fly through the air to meet Jesus and have supper? Will there be charges for upkeep, or will that even be a concern in our mansion Jesus has prepared for us?


I hope I don't seem like a foolish child to worry about such things, but I want to do what's right. May God richly bless those who offer advice.