[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

"Christian Rock" doesn't mean taking a standard jungle-music song and changing the word "baby" to "Jesus". Real Christian rock is when you let go of your guitar, pick up two machine guns, and offer to rape democratic presidential candidates with them:

FREEDOM!!!!!!!



Update: He's not bluffing about the rape thing. He publicly and proudly talks about his acts of "statutory rape" aka giving young sluts a tough-love wakeup call:

"I don't care if you're only 13....Wait a minute officer
Don't put those handcuffs on me
Put them on her and I'll share her with you" - Ted Nugent

[Nobar King]

Hallelujah!!

[Seeker]

Ted, Ted. What ever happened to the good old days when you could jam to your tape player, singing "Free For all." Cranked...as loud as the speakers could handle.

You got crazier with time.

[eliot mayfield]

I am a proud Whackmaster!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Here's another classic from Ted, "Kiss My Glock."

And it just so happens to be Pastor Pistle's favorite! (Ladies, please forgive the salty language).

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

"Christian Rock" doesn't mean taking a standard jungle-music song and changing the word "baby" to "Jesus". Real Christian rock is when you let go of your guitar, pick up two machine guns, and offer to rape democratic presidential candidates with them.

I particularly like how he compared Osamabama to s**t. It's a bit of a subtle point, so you may not have noticed it, but s**t is actually brown, just like, um, Canadians.

[HolierThanThou]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

I particularly like how he compared Osamabama to s**t. It's a bit of a subtle point, so you may not have noticed it, but s**t is actually brown, just like, um, Canadians.

Damn straight.

[Rev. Jackson]

Canadians are to blame for the evil in the world.

"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" (l Corinthians 11:14)

Most canadians have long hair.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Now Ted has some competition. This is true Christian Rock:

I hope Ted buys them or there's some sort of merger. That's the proper capitalist way to get rid of the problem of competition.

[BelieverInGod]

So I can let my boys listen to Ted Nugents Music? I'm sure they'll be happy to hear that.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Ted Nugent...Now there's a good name. All the cuddlyness of a teddy bear, all the chewyness of a nugat bar...

D*mn my father, giving me a wimpy name like Trent Harvey Junior....When he could have given me a real name...Like Dick Manly. Now that's a real name.

Heck, I would have settled for Manfred Mann, even though it's taken.

Trent Harvey junior....WTF was he thinking???

[Seth Campbell]

Although he's a little to "in your face" for my taste, you have to admire his dedication to the cause. There's no waffling with that man, he's a True Christian, a True Republican, and a True Man.

[Sidoain]

Bizzle, the only real christian rap.

[MEATCLUB]

Ahh Uncle Ted The man, The myth, The LEGEND... Uncle Ted for President!

[LordHaveMercy]

Ahh, The Nuge is my hero!!

[Bjorn Jensen]

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by screw the chrisitans

I didn't watch the video, but read the title. If I weren't a True Christian™ male, and instead were an unbethrothed True Christian™ female, who then became betrothed to him, I certainly would.

But I'm not, so I guess I'll leave the attempt to you . . . as your chosen username suggests, you want to do that to each and every Christian on the planet!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by screw the chrisitans

Dear Godmocking Eskimo Savage;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping odin and clubbing baby seals to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Pastor Ezekiel]

God BLESS Ted Nugent! His Righteous Americanism is genuine enough to earn him repeated invitations to appear on Glenn Beck's TV show.

[Mary-Yves Lapierre]

Originally Posted by screw the chrisitans

I love the Ted!!

He shot every last of the caribou in Quebec with his bow, and caught almost all the lake trout! I think he wasn't using the bow for the fishing... He is such the amazing man!