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flag Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-07-2016, 07:03 AM

There are periods of life that are especially vulnerable to the seductions of lust (Judges 3:29) and Satan. These include the fetal age, early infancy, toddlerism, adolescence, and senescence. In addition, retarded individuals are prone to self-abusive activities from cradle to their early death. With adequate punishment (Proverbs 13:24) these people can sometimes Repent (Luke 10:13) but, in addition, they have to understand what Jesus is all about. This is difficult with people who have little or no intellectual capacities. However, there are souls to be won over to Jesus and would it not be fun to see an occasional child, retard or demented old man in Heaven with us providing some variety and entertainment.

Based on the presentation below, we can easily explain these sub-human individuals the essentials about Jesus to ensure their Salvation. Due to this, please understand that the language is necessarily simple and contains no advanced Creation Scientific vocabulary.

Some explanations are tailored separately for these three groups. These are clearly marked with appropriate abbreviations: C (children), R (retards and mongoloids), or OF (Old Fools aka the Senilistic).

Dear C (R/OF),

Let me tell you all about Jesus. If you accept Him you may live forever, if you fail, you may still live forever but in Hell. The pain of Hell is worse than drilling a tooth (R: restraints; OF: having a catheter). The thing you have to understand is Creation. After that everything depends on it. Let us begin.

God Created everything (Genesis 1:1)but God is also Jesus, His son (John 10:30). When God Created everything He did it by Jesus (John 1:3). All the land and stars and animals flew to their places through Jesus. If Jesus had not been there, there would be nothing. So we must thank Jesus.


("Thank you, Jesus", you can chant like this for a while but not as long as the Pentecostals do, that would be overkill and really irritating to Jesus).

God Created also man.

This is what everything looked like afterwards for one hundred years.




You may see that those people have no clothes. That was then, this is now. You must not do like that and remove your diaper (C; R: diaper; OF: incontinence shield). It was very nice in Eden.



Everyone was friendly and the lions only ate oranges, watermelons and cherries and other fruits and grass.



It was so much fun!



Because Jesus Created everything we must praise Him.



(Again, don't overdo this, remember the Pentecostals)

God not only Created everything. He did it in a particular manner. He Created us Man and Woman. Thus, you may not touch the thingies of other boys nor your own (C; R&OF: "of boys nor your own"). That thing is bad (Leviticus 23:13).

He Created man an woman but man is better than woman. Man decides. You must fight the plagues and scourges of feminism and emancipation and female voting everywhere (C&R&OF).

Jesus told us to continue having marriages to make new babies (for C only, Rs should not marry and OFs should be dead by that time). Please tell your parents (C; R: never mind the R; OF: children and grandchildren) never to use a condom, an IUD or the pill.

Look at the Garden again. It was very nice:




We are not there any more because the woman did not trust Jesus. She wanted to know more. God did not want us to know very much. He wanted us to Fear Him and Obey (Ecclesiastes 12:13). Because of that, Adam and Eve had to start working. They also had children and their son Cain was a killer. He had to go and live with other people in a land called Nod. How the other people got there is a mystery to those who hate Jesus but we know that Jesus must have Created them, too, a bit earlier. Nod was a nasty place.



This is how we live also now. Apart from Jesus. But He sacrificed Himself to Save you from His punishment. This was done by nailing Him, on a wooden Cross. That hurt more that drilling your tooth (C; R: restraints; OF: catheterization of your bladder). This is Jesus on the Cross.



You can choose the land of Nod and Hell or Jesus. If you choose Him, you'll be here once again. that would be nice.




If you don't believe in Creation, Jesus will refuse all those nice things from you. You are a bad person. You are disgusting. You deserve only punishment and agony. But if you Fear Jesus He may Love you.

Many people will tell you that Creation is not real. They hate Jesus. They try to tell you difficult things with big words. Evolution. Queer. Medication. Vaccines. Therapy. Quark. You don't understand these words. They are difficult. Please don't even try. Jesus hates those words, too (1 Timothy 6:20).

Who do you trust? Do you trust Jesus and His spokesman, Mr.
Kirk Cameron. He tells us that the other options are ridiculous. You may laugh at this with him.



Or do you trust the teachers who tell you that there were once mongrels, half duck, half crocodile. They will show you pictures like the one below. That one is hard to understand so don't even try! Do you trust them of Jesus?





The End


You may decide to show the R only God's Wrath through punishment and the pictures if he cannot talk; the same can be applied to severely demented OFs.

Brethren, for those of you interested in the theological justification of the text above, please consider these more complex and complicated points that only true Christian™ educated men can comprehend:
  • Creation is everything. If we cannot trust Creation that took place through Jesus, we cannot trust the Bible.
  • If we cannot trust Jesus, we cannot be Saved.
  • Many liberal Creationist organizations accept scientific observations of stars, "galaxies" and "exotic planets". We don't have to do that. That is not the narrow road (Matthew 7:14). That road leads to dismissal of Jesus.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-08-2016, 12:19 AM

Beautiful pictures, I almost feel I am there in Heaven with Adam himself. One thing that puzzles me is that Adam does not appear to have any weapons. Perhaps he has left a pistol in the tall grass for self-protection, or for shooting lead into any animal he wishes to kill for his pleasure.
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Gun Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-08-2016, 04:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Beautiful pictures, I almost feel I am there in Heaven with Adam himself. One thing that puzzles me is that Adam does not appear to have any weapons. Perhaps he has left a pistol in the tall grass for self-protection, or for shooting lead into any animal he wishes to kill for his pleasure.
Dear Friend,

This is a question that undoubtedly puzzles also our children and quite a few of the more senile members of Jesus's Troops. We can disregard the retards with questions of this magnitude, however. So, here we go:

Dad (son in case of an OF), Why Did Adam Not Have a Gun?

Dear Child (OF: Revered Retired Person). I am sorry but Adam was not very bright. Nor was Eve. They couldn't do anything by themselves. God had to make clothes for them. They did not know how to sow nor how to go to a store. They were not too intelligent, because God Created them like that. God works in mysterious ways.

Genesis 3:21
Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

Adam and Eve were often like animals. They were like the dogs that are mounting each other all the time. The stork brought them two kids. At first they were a happy family:




The boys were not as stupid as Adam and Eve. Abel knew his way around sheep and Cain was a farmer. He worked very hard and had bulging muscles. He did double the toil and trouble as his brother.

Then Jesus intervened.




He showed mankind his preferences: A good altar has good sacrifice. Meat. This means killing. Abel killed some sheep and God liked it. Cain tried to make friends with Jesus with fruit and grain and cabbages and it did not work out.




Genesis 4:3-5
And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.


Cain rose to the occasion. He designed the first weapons and knew how to use them.

Genesis 4:8
And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.





This document shows that they were very good-looking boys. Cain had perfect sixpack because of all the toil and trouble and shoveling and seeding. Abel was OK but not as well-developed. Cain has absolutely no trouble wielding the weapon of choice, the mandible of a beast. Adam may have been a weak man but Cain was agile and of perfect physique.

Obviously, he had to go into Nod afterwards. Still, Jesus understood the necessity of this and overruled His own rule over killing (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17; Matthew 5:21; Romans 13:9), pardoning Cain into exile. Cain taught us how to make weapons and use them.

This is a Winchester 1897. My favorite.




The End.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-08-2016, 08:56 PM

In relation to the statement about Adam not having a gun, is it true what an English man told me? That was that last year ISIS killed two Americans but 30,000 Americans where shot dead by fellow Americans in gun related crime?
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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-09-2016, 01:47 AM

,
Quote:
Originally Posted by the meek View Post
In relation to the statement about Adam not having a gun, is it true what an English man told me? That was that last year ISIS killed two Americans but 30,000 Americans where shot dead by fellow Americans in gun related crime?

No, fellow, it is false. Thirty thousand people are shot in America each year, but twenty thousand are shooting themselves. They are not Christian, so there is no loss there. The other ten thousand are mostly Negroes and Mexicans, who enjoy shooting each other when ever they get a chance. This is true whether they are in Africa or Mexico and it is true when they come to America. Again, no loss. The Mexicans and especially the Negroes do occasionally shoot a White Christian person and that is a great tragedy. It would be best for everyone to disarm the Negroes and Mexicans, but it has been deemed politically incorrect to allow White people to have guns for protection against Negroes and Mexicans, but not allow the colored people to go armed, too.


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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 01-30-2018, 07:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
I was particularly interested in the picture [ABOVE] and have a question. God knew that in order to atone for the sin about to be expressed through murder, He would need to make Mary pregnant and kill His son. Now I don't want to know why He didn't make Eve pregnant or, if virginity were necessary, her daughter because that is just being silly. It doesn't stop people asking me that though. My question is did Cain already know God was not going to be incarnated as a watermelon to atone for the sin his mother had infected him with and deliberately offer fruit?

After all, Adam had been required to til the soil and Cain was following that tradition.
GENESIS 3 .KJV . context
17
[God speaking to Adam] Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
The picture shows Abel with his lamb. In Genesis 9 God explained about eating meat, but before that would Abel have had any reason to consider killing a lamb without inspiration from The Lamb Of God who had created his mother not so long ago? And if that inspiration was not also available to Cain then Cain could hardly be in any transgression so my question is, was Cain being deliberately blasphemous if comparing Jesus to vegetation?
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Jesus Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 01-30-2018, 08:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
My question is did Cain already know God was not going to be incarnated as a watermelon to atone for the sin his mother had infected him with and deliberately offer fruit? ...was Cain being deliberately blasphemous if comparing Jesus to vegetation?
Dear Sister,

I'd definitely answer yes, and yes. In addition, what you have described is the mystery of God. Obviously, we'll know in detail what, by Jesus Christ, He had in mind during the few millennia between Creation and Jesus. One of the things was that He tried to put the Jews into order with the Law while knowing that that plan would fail miserably, as they continued to produce different types of idols and fornicate.

1 Timothy 3:16
And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.


I suppose that our God is not only merciful (Jonah 4:2) but also prone to mood swings (Genesis 6:6) and practical jokes (Job 1:12). It is feasible that Cain was tricked into this in order to make the world produce a ripe environment for Jesus to intervene.

Yes, Cain blasphemed. Was it unforgivable (Matthew 12:31)? We'll know in due course.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 01-30-2018, 10:14 AM

It occurred to me that it might be desirable to have some music to go with those inspiring pictures Brother Elmer - especially for the children.



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Default Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 02-03-2018, 04:52 AM

Another a great song would be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBz7vuJ2b1A.


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