The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Not the sharpest crayon in the box Cherry picker on his way to Hell
Forum Member
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Posts: 173
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Usually down by the river in my Bible Bus
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Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-24-2018, 07:29 PM
_______________________________
My fellow True Christians,
My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums was caused by no internet connection in the desolate Nevada deserts
where I was taking a missionary position with my Nevada State Brothel Ministries. I am literally drained from this godly act,
therefore, I have taken a break from trying to save these wanton harlots as they conduct their sinful acts
in their dens of iniquity, and return to the big city to recoup.
I will take this advantage by having my engine rebuilt in my Salvation Bus before I return to Nevada, because the courtesans
didn’t like me breaking down all the time after I picked them up from the airport to take them to their designated brothels.
It is so great to see an outlet like Landover again in preaching Jesus’ word to the letter, and not in any way Satanically
spin doctoring it from its initial Bronze and Iron Age true meaning, praise!
Before I return to Nevada, I will reestablish my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries to bring the word to the unfortunate individuals
that have to take the bus for their transportation. As if life isn’t hard enough at times, imagine sitting in a “Grey Dog”
next to a 350 pound Hispanic woman changing her 7th child’s diapers while crossing the Nevada desert at 120 degrees!
In the meantime, her other six little tacos are running up and down the isle of the bus! When persons are involved in horrific
situations like this, they are easily prone to accept Jesus so this uncomfortable situation doesn’t happen again through prayer to Him.
In the name of the hung Savior,
Brother D. Thomas
I consider my Salvation Bus as a true act of our
Yahweh/Jesus God, and I am sure Jesus is smiling
in agreement, praise!
__________________________________
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-24-2018, 07:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother D. Thomas
My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums ....
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You've only been absent for a little over 24 hours and I can't say I noticed, dear. But jolly well done, anyway.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-24-2018, 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
You've only been absent for a little over 24 hours and I can't say I noticed, dear. But jolly well done, anyway.
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Well, to be fair, Brother Thomas has been absent from here for three years, Sister, preaching among the destitute. Very admirable indeed.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-24-2018, 10:23 PM
Oh, I'm so very sorry - I thought he was talking about his absence since his last posts yesterday. But, as I said in my previous post, jolly well done to him on the Nevada thing!
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Forum member
Forum Member
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Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-25-2018, 12:06 AM
Wonderful, Brother Thomas! I'm sure you had many a harlot on their knees praising God and shouting
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-25-2018, 07:58 AM
This all sounds a bit unseemly, if you ask me.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-25-2018, 08:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother D. Thomas
_______________________________
My fellow True Christians,
My absence from the Landover Baptist Church forums was caused by no internet connection in the desolate Nevada deserts
where I was taking a missionary position with my Nevada State Brothel Ministries. I am literally drained from this godly act,
therefore, I have taken a break from trying to save these wanton harlots as they conduct their sinful acts
in their dens of iniquity, and return to the big city to recoup.
I will take this advantage by having my engine rebuilt in my Salvation Bus before I return to Nevada, because the courtesans
didn’t like me breaking down all the time after I picked them up from the airport to take them to their designated brothels.
It is so great to see an outlet like Landover again in preaching Jesus’ word to the letter, and not in any way Satanically
spin doctoring it from its initial Bronze and Iron Age true meaning, praise!
Before I return to Nevada, I will reestablish my Greyhound Bus Depot Ministries to bring the word to the unfortunate individuals
that have to take the bus for their transportation. As if life isn’t hard enough at times, imagine sitting in a “Grey Dog”
next to a 350 pound Hispanic woman changing her 7th child’s diapers while crossing the Nevada desert at 120 degrees!
In the meantime, her other six little tacos are running up and down the isle of the bus! When persons are involved in horrific
situations like this, they are easily prone to accept Jesus so this uncomfortable situation doesn’t happen again through prayer to Him.
In the name of the hung Savior,
Brother D. Thomas
I consider my Salvation Bus as a true act of our
Yahweh/Jesus God, and I am sure Jesus is smiling
in agreement, praise!
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I hope you were able to spend some time looking out for all those niaive, clean limbed young youths who are being tempted away from the Godly muscular embrace of Jesus and to a much lesser extent their youth Pastors?
Non-married, non-motherfied, non-Christian, non-Silentificationalistical women are bound for Hell and have very little chance of Salvation™.
But the youthful, eager, vibrant young youths of this great nation (and girls) can still be save by the turgid vigilance of youth Pastors and other concern parties such as myself with a firm hand and tumescent courage in Christ.
Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Not the sharpest crayon in the box Cherry picker on his way to Hell
Forum Member
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Posts: 173
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Usually down by the river in my Bible Bus
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-26-2018, 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
This all sounds a bit unseemly, if you ask me.
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__________________
Faith_Machine,
Why do you have so little faith in Jesus' word? Are not the whores in Nevada worthy of being saved in his name?
When I was in the disgusting brothels of Nevada, it was hard all the time, in getting these courtesans to see the light of Jesus' Salvation!
I was doing my part in spreading Jesus' word (Mark 16:15-16), and then you have the audacity to question my godly work in this respect?
If anything is unseemly, it is your outright questioning of my prescribed godly duties in saving these harlots from the sulfur lakes of Hell!
Shame on you!
In the name of the hung Savior,
Brother D. Thomas
_________________________
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-26-2018, 06:54 PM
Friend, it is you who I don't have faith in. Your story does not add up. I think you're a faker.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-26-2018, 11:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Friend, it is you who I don't have faith in. Your story does not add up. I think you're a faker.
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What caught your attention?
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-27-2018, 08:31 AM
He's obviously way too eager to surround himself with whores.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 571
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: USA #MAGA
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-27-2018, 12:02 PM
My pa always told me that Christians don't lie. As far as this argument between Faith Machine and Mister Thomas goes, I should probably look at who is more Christian to see who to believe. In this case, Mister Faith Machine has the word TRUE in his title so I have to believe Faith Machine when he says Thomas is lying.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.
You are treading a dangerous path to hell Mister Thomas. My Pa always told me as has The Bible that liars burn in hell. On the other hand, those that speak the truth are rewarded well. This is how Mister Trump became president and why Hillary lost the election.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-27-2018, 07:05 PM
Thank you, my pure, innocent lamb.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member
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Posts: 334
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
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Re: Returning from saving whores in Nevada! -
08-30-2018, 09:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231
My pa always told me that Christians don't lie. As far as this argument between Faith Machine and Mister Thomas goes, I should probably look at who is more Christian to see who to believe. In this case, Mister Faith Machine has the word TRUE in his title so I have to believe Faith Machine when he says Thomas is lying.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips [are] abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly [are] his delight.
You are treading a dangerous path to hell Mister Thomas. My Pa always told me as has The Bible that liars burn in hell. On the other hand, those that speak the truth are rewarded well. This is how Mister Trump became president and why Hillary lost the election.
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I believe that Faith Machine is right as well.
-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
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