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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 09:04 AM
If your daughter should happen to engage in non-consensual genital relations, I'm sure you're well aware of the penalty the poor fellow will owe you:
Quote:
Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
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What you might not have realized is that what he'll actually be owing you is $55 million!
Ancient Judean shekel sells at auction for $1.1 million
Quote:
An ancient Judean shekel coin was sold at a New York auction last week for a whole lot more than a shekel: a whopping $1.1 million. That in itself was interesting. But there’s more. Now, the Palestinian Authority (PA) is claiming the shekel from 66 A.D. is a Palestinian relic, even though it’s covered with Hebrew inscriptions including “Shekel of Israel [Year] 1″ on the front of the coin, and “Jerusalem the holy” on the back...
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That's all very amusing about how the sand people want to claim it's really a camel lover's coin, but never mind about that. The bottom line is that if you're lucky enough to have a daughter whose morals are a reflection of the debauched times we're living in, you can take some comfort in the knowledge that her whorish ways will surely be your ticket to easy street!
Obviously, most guys don't have $55 million in assets, so I'm wondering if it might be possible for one of the banks in Freehold to set up some kind of lending program which would enable these randy gentlemen to make good on their obligations to you, the parent?
Just something to consider.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Mar 2012
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 11:03 AM
god is infalliable. correct?
god is omnipotent. correct?
and the bible is the word of god. correct?
and the bible is written by man.
man is falliable.
therefore, the bible is falliable.
therefore, god is not omnipotent.
therefore, god does not exist.
same goes for the koran or any such biblical document that makes such claims have a nice day.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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03-14-2012, 11:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by take a second look
god is infalliable. correct?
god is omnipotent. correct?
and the bible is the word of god. correct?
and the bible is written by man.
man is falliable.
therefore, the bible is falliable.
therefore, god is not omnipotent.
therefore, god does not exist.
same goes for the koran or any such biblical document that makes such claims have a nice day.
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Posted via Mobile Device
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 11:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by take a second look
god is infalliable. correct?
god is omnipotent. correct?
and the bible is the word of god. correct?
and the bible is written by man.
man is falliable.
therefore, the bible is falliable.
therefore, god is not omnipotent.
therefore, god does not exist.
same goes for the koran or any such biblical document that makes such claims have a nice day.
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My eyes have been opened. That nonsensical string of badly punctuated nonsense masquerading as an argument has convinced me. I'm an Atheist. Praise, errrr, praise someone. Monkeys. Praise monkeys.
Seriously. This is a Christian forum. Even if your argument made any sense it wouldn't work. That ^ drivel? Not even close sonnt.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 823
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: America: God's favorite nation
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 11:50 AM
Even though I don't think this deserves the time it takes to respond to it, I'll show you the error of your ways. You're probably a lost cause, but maybe I can show others on the fence how silly your reasoning is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by take a second look
man is falliable.
therefore, the bible is falliable.
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Have you heard of perfect bowling games?
This is like saying "Men are weak, therefore, cranes can't lift heavy objects."
Men are not super strong (with the exception of ones powered by super hair provided by God), but they can create cranes. Men can't do hundreds of advanced calculations in their head, but they can create calculators.
Imperfect men can create things that exceed themselves. That's on their own. Now imagine when they're being guided by an all knowing, all powerful God.
Quote:
Originally Posted by take a second look
therefore, god is not omnipotent.
therefore, god does not exist.
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Even if the Bible was flawed (Which you have failed to produce any evidence of. Do you have any scripture showing that it is flawed besides your silly "Man isn't perfect" argument?). It wouldn't mean God isn't still perfect. "Joe wrote a flawed book about a perfect bowling game, so the bowling game wasn't perfect either."
Really? Not being omnipotent means you don't exist? I guess that means since you're not omnipotent, you don't exist. Neither does your point or your brain.
Back to the topic at hand. I've always heard "Christians" talk about how unfair it is that rapists get off with "only" a fine, but they don't even stop to consider inflation, or how much the fine really is. Those who can't pay are in violation of God's law, and the few that can, are probably wealthy, and thus, would make much better husbands than most of the liberal bums out there.
This just demonstrates God's genius, and how well He planned ahead.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 02:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by take a second look
god is infalliable. correct?
god is omnipotent. correct?
and the bible is the word of god. correct?
and the bible is written by man.
man is falliable.
therefore, the bible is falliable.
therefore, god is not omnipotent.
therefore, god does not exist.
same goes for the koran or any such biblical document that makes such claims have a nice day.
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Nice try, God-mocker. The men who wrote the Bible were inspired by God, not their imaginations.
II Peter 1:21
For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.
Try reading some Scripture before proceeding to make an even bigger ass of yourself.
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 04:45 PM
Faith Machine, that IS wonderful news!
I had no idea!
Of course, my children have been thoroughly raised in the Biblical ways so there shall be no genital relations until the night of their weddings (we guarantee our daughters' virginity), but surely this will come as compensation for such damaged goods to someone.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 07:26 PM
Thank you Mary, for helping this poor thread get back on track!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-14-2012, 07:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
If your daughter should happen to engage in non-consensual genital relations, I'm sure you're well aware of the penalty the poor fellow will owe you:
What you might not have realized is that what he'll actually be owing you is $55 million!
Ancient Judean shekel sells at auction for $1.1 million
That's all very amusing about how the sand people want to claim it's really a camel lover's coin, but never mind about that. The bottom line is that if you're lucky enough to have a daughter whose morals are a reflection of the debauched times we're living in, you can take some comfort in the knowledge that her whorish ways will surely be your ticket to easy street!
Obviously, most guys don't have $55 million in assets, so I'm wondering if it might be possible for one of the banks in Freehold to set up some kind of lending program which would enable these randy gentlemen to make good on their obligations to you, the parent?
Just something to consider.
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Interesting. I have two daughters, one that lives on a commune with her whore mother. I'm pretty sure she gets raped all the time, seeing as how she lives with Godless, junkie hippies. I might have to call one of the Jew lawyers at Landover AirJesus to see if I've got a case. Even if I don't get $50 million, I figure a few thousand per rape would be a pretty sweet deal!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-15-2012, 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
Interesting. I have two daughters, one that lives on a commune with her whore mother. I'm pretty sure she gets raped all the time, seeing as how she lives with Godless, junkie hippies. I might have to call one of the Jew lawyers at Landover AirJesus to see if I've got a case. Even if I don't get $50 million, I figure a few thousand per rape would be a pretty sweet deal!
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Brother, I'm pretty sure the payoff is only for the rape that takes her virginity; and a shekel is worth (in purchasing value) about $50. So that's about $2500 you're owed.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-15-2012, 06:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Brother, I'm pretty sure the payoff is only for the rape that takes her virginity; and a shekel is worth (in purchasing value) about $50. So that's about $2500 you're owed.
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Wait a minute, I'm no Reverend, but I am familiar with the . . . and I . . . wait, that's right, only the first time counts. After that, she's basically the same as a street whore.
Well that stinks on ice! $2,500.00 lousy ding-danged bucks! And I'm still stuck with a used up slut for a daughter!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-15-2012, 09:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
Wait a minute, I'm no Reverend, but I am familiar with the . . . and I . . . wait, that's right, only the first time counts. After that, she's basically the same as a street whore.
Well that stinks on ice! $2,500.00 lousy ding-danged bucks! And I'm still stuck with a used up slut for a daughter!
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Surely she can earn her keep somehow. Aren't there coal mines where you live?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-16-2012, 01:40 AM
Coal mining is a man's job, so I know you wouldn't suggest his daughter work in one.
Surely you're not suggesting she become a whore who services coal miners!?!!?!?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
03-16-2012, 02:51 AM
This is a very astute observation, Faith Machine. However, since the power of prayer is sufficient to ascertain that God will not allow Christians to be raped, I don't see how it benefits anyone that matters.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
11-13-2013, 08:28 AM
Doing a little research into the meaning of "shekel", I have learned that actually shekel was not a form of currency until 1980. Prior to that "shekel" referred to a unit of weight that varied depending on the area, but usually equal to about 180 grains of barley, or a silver coin the size of the one in the image.
So, taking God at His Word, this means the rape fee would be covered by an amount of silver equal to fifty times that coin. It certainly doesn't have to be fifty rare Judean coins. Just a clump of silver from anywhere of the same weight.
I have a friend who is now owed fifty million dollars in reparations from his neighbor.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Wonderful news if your daughter goes and gets herself raped! -
11-13-2013, 04:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I have a friend who is now owed fifty million dollars in reparations from his neighbor.
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Shirley you mean raparations?
I have a question for you BJ.
Did you bother to read the actual history of the Shekel as a currency or just skip to the part about modern usage by the State of Israel? Don't you know the Shekel is clearly mentioned as a currency in the Bible and not as a measure of weight?
Bless you, my Bendover Baptist,
Father Mo
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A Cardinal in the making.
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