[BelieverInGod]

One with a similar name

The Seventh Sign (1988)



I really had hope for this one, who wouldn't? A movie that shows the Seven seals as being literal as opposed to allegorical? Unfortunately it falls apart right from the beginning. Jesus returns to earth to judge mankind, and face it we're doing horribly. There's a Catholic priest who is supposed to be a Roman centurion that struck Jesus at the crucifixion and is cursed to walk the earth until Jesus return (not scriptural). Abby is about to give birth and Jesus rents a room from her and her husband. Well it turns out that Abby is the reincarnation of the woman that offered Jesus water and was turned away by the Centurion above (again, not scriptural). There is also talk about how since Jesus gave his life once for mankind he cannot do it again (He's God, he can do what he wants) and discussion about something called "the Guf" where souls wait to be born. According to the movie, God has just run out of souls, and Abby's baby is going to be born without a soul (and therefore die) this is the "seventh seal", which is funny because my Bible says this about the seventh seal.

Revelation 8
1And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. 2And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.
3And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.
4And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand.
5And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were voices, and thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake.
6And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.

Hi Hollywood? Do us a favor. If you're going to write a movie about one book of the Bible, actually sit down and read it.

Anyway, reincarnation, 2,000 year old people walking around, God running out of souls and one little woman can fill the "Guf" up whereas Jesus can't. Absolute mockery.

[Titus Templeton]

Originally Posted by ChristiansUberAlles

Yes I think so, because created all those planets and lightsabers

Dear my ungodly Friend,
God made the earth flat. If there are other earths they will be flat too. What George Arts made here is blasphemious. I remeber how that alien hunted this lesbian Ripley, that was so terrible. God hates Star Wars.

[MitzaLizalor]

DUMPLINGS
a dreadful warning of the evil that accompanies Confucianism and worship of the Tao

these Satanic "philosophies" are marketed ruthlessly in the West and typically target vulnerable women

the film is a warning to anyone considering becoming an East Asian

[Proud Faroese]

Hostel
2 horny and perverted American teenagers(one of them a vegetarian) gets the stupid idea to go to Godless Europe just to have sex before marriage, in Holland they team up with an even more perverted Icelandic euro-trash teenager and they decide to go to Slovakia(another euro-trash nation) cause they think they can get even more sex in that country, but what they dont know is that the Slovakians have completely different plans on what to do with these 3 perverted teens, they are kidnapped and slowly tortured to death.

This is a great horror movie teaching American teenagers to stay home in Godly USA instead of going to Godless Europe where they might just end up getting tortured to death instead of the sinful perverted sex and legal drugs that they went to Godless Europe for. This movie also has a great sequel about 3 American teenage sluts who goes to Godless Europe for the same reason and ends up getting tortured to death.
Highly recommended!!!

[Proud Faroese]

Two Thousand Maniacs (the original, NOT the remake)


Synopsis:
A group of sinful atheist yankee teens from the north goes down to the town Pleasant Valley in Georgia, USA just to offend the 2000 Christian citizens of Pleasant Valley, but one day their offensive behaviour goes too far and the Christians in Pleasant Valley decides to revenge on these sinners...

Review:
This movie teaches northern fags to not mess around in the south, in the town of Pleasant Valley there only lives Christian Baptists, the men are hunters and their wives makes pies, the children hangs cats, i think that Pleasant Valley is the Georgian equivalent of Freehold

0:56:52 = this is how America will be like when the Republicans win!

[Bjorn Jensen]

Candyman (1992)

The most accurate portrayal of darkies. Ever. This movie is also very relevant in these ages of the presidental elections.

[Bjorn Jensen]

I just watched this documentary called Paranormal Activity 3, it really shows that the evil magic of satanists, witches and wiccans is for real, the content of this documentary clearly justifies that you should not suffer a witch to live. Perfect in time for the annual Witch Hunt on Satan's birthday.

[Levi Jones]

The Cabin in the Woods.

What a great morality tale against sorcery, fornication, drug use and so many other sins.

I give it:

of 5.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

This is a Christian horror movie that I quite enjoyed. It has sweaty young nubile nubians in it.

[PaulyShoreiscool]

Nice picks especially Rosemary's Baby. "God is dead, satan lives!"

How about Cannibal Holocaust or Re-animator?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by PaulyShoreiscool

Nice picks especially Rosemary's Baby. "God is dead, satan lives!"

How about Cannibal Holocaust or Re-animator?

All important films from a Christian perspective: Rosemary's Baby brings home that Satan a a very real threat.

Cannibal Holocaust show just how violent black people can be and Re-Animator shows us what happens when people try to supplant God.

There may be hopes for you yet!

I shall pray for you.

YIC