Just when you think we are over the hippie plague that tortured our once proud America, all the drug addicts decide to follow a new cult: Hipsterism.
The sad thing is that there isn't even anything hip (new) about hipsters. Even though most hipsters are
too stoned, too stupid or both to notice this, the term itself was invented during the 1940's jazz age. Some say it was a derivative of "hop", a slang term for opium, while others believe it comes from the West African word "hipi", which means "loves to have anal sex".
Hipster:
God clearly hates hipsters:
- All hipsters are omnisexual (have sex with men, women, children, animals and powertools), a clear violation of Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13 and Romans 1:26-27.
- All hipsters are lazy unwashed Obama voters, a clear violation of Romans 12:11, Proverbs 26:15 and Proverbs 12:24.
- All hipsters masturbate all the time, preferably on YouTube (more filth), a clear violation of Genesis 38:9-10, Matthew 5:28, 1st Corinthians 6:18-19 and 1st Corinthians 7:2.
Hipsters love crossdressing so they can have sex with anything:
Hipsters are destroying America! Innocent young children are seduced to leave the Church and worship Hipsterism instead. With a surprisingly ingenious 5 step program, all love for Jesus is eradicated and replaced by hate for God and anti-Americanism. There can be no doubt that Satan himself is using Hipsterism to fill Hell with lazy unwashed stoned hipsters!
From normal human to hipster: