Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
01-18-2008, 02:24 AM
Pastors -
I do apologize for posting in the men-only section of the forum.
Under normal circumstances, and were he Saved, SadSightSeer would of course be correct. However, there are extenuating circumstances.
While in prayer yesterday, the words "Karma Supra" and "cookbook" and "puppy danger" and "evil yellow monkey" kept coming up in my mind. These were followed by "men only".
I was convinced that God was telling me I should see something in the men-only section of this Forum, and that puppies were in danger from an evil yellow monkey. How right I was! Happily, I was able to deliver the warning in time to spare those adorable puppies from becoming Labrador Foo Yung.
I spared my innocent eyes from viewing the perverse images (or so I assume, from the text) posted in this thread by using a magnifying glass backward, blurring the images. So, the only one I saw clearly was that of the innocent puppies, over which the evil yellow monkey was drooling.
So again, Pastors, I apologize for posting where females like myself should not; however, should God guide me here again, I will once again have no choice but to do His will.
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
01-18-2008, 07:03 AM
What really bothers me about these pictures is that they give people the impression that it's o.k. to have non-procreational sex, and to enjoy it as well. Why would anybody want to have sex for fun; Kama Sutra? Kama Satan is more like it.
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
01-26-2008, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles
What really bothers me about these pictures is that they give people the impression that it's o.k. to have non-procreational sex, and to enjoy it as well. Why would anybody want to have sex for fun; Kama Sutra? Kama Satan is more like it.
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People have sex for fun because it feels good and they like it. Also it releases endorphins in the brain, helping us to relax. If it didn't feel good, we wouldn't bother doing it, and if we didn't do it, humans would be extinct.
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
01-27-2008, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Yesterday I was compelled to rifle through my daughter's dresser drawers--I was surely filled with the Holy Spirit--when I made a revolting discovery. She was in possession of a book entitled The Complete Kama Sutra. I presumed it to be an Indian recipe book. Upon thumbing through its pages, I was assaulted by something even more sickening than Indian cuisine--Indian coitus.
Apparently, those dark-skinned, foul-smelling heathens have invented a multitude of ways to copulate. Observe the following picture:
I have stretched my imagination to the limit, and I still cannot comprehend how these two can be engaging in intercourse. Shockingly, this picture was among the most reasonable in the book. The Indians are a vile--albeit limber--race. They are obviously in cahoots with Satan to be capable of such contortion.
Naturally I beat my daughter for being in possession of a book that is more than likely the brainchild of Satan himself.
"What I do in my bedroom is my business, " she screamed. "I'm a married lady."
"No. You're a married trollop," I retorted. "A married lady lies on her back, with her legs spread at no more than a seventy degree angle, to receive her good husband's member for the purpose of creating more Christians."
Gentlemen, don't allow your wives to persuade you to "spice things up between the sheets." Here is a list of acceptable positions:
1. Missionary
Praise Jesus.
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1. I don't know if these Indians are foul-smelling, but they are light-skinned.
2. What a woman does in her bedroom, should be her husband's business. Didn't your son-in-law pay you enough for his wife?
Besides, Laban didn't beat his daughters Leah and Rachel, after he gave them to Jacob. If he did, then the Bible would have mentioned it.
3. If your son-in-law doesn't beat his wife, when he should, then you must've had given your daughter to some hell-bound a-theist or pagan.
Were no True Christian men available or were you overcome by greed?
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me" -- Faaabulous President Bush, May 27, 2004
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
01-27-2008, 01:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sacha-DG
People have sex for fun because it feels good and they like it. Also it releases endorphins in the brain, helping us to relax. If it didn't feel good, we wouldn't bother doing it, and if we didn't do it, humans would be extinct.
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Oh, right, and I suppose you want us to believe that the queer practice of ramming your tallywacker up another man's exit ramp is pleasurable?
Don't you know that sex is for fags?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-10-2008, 11:04 PM
You people make me wonder sometimes. How can one hate sex? Its the most beautiful and natural thing in the world, not to mention it feels good.
Your daughter may have it because you were too much of a jackass too her when she was younger and shes rebelling. and technally, she dose have the right to have that book, if shes over 18 you cant do anything about it.
Open your mind and heart
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 09:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea
Your daughter may have it because you were too much of a jackass too her when she was younger and shes rebelling. and technally, she dose have the right to have that book, if shes over 18 you cant do anything about it.
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You will show me the respect that I deserve. I am to be adulated for my parenting skills. Throughout my daughter's formative years, I beat her to unconsciousness often, screamed Bible verses at her, and nearly drowned her on more than one occasion. I subjected her to the most stringent forms of punishment imaginable. Why? Because I am a loving father who did not stand idly by while his daughter turned into a whore. Of course, she did become a whore, but demons are obviously responsible for that. I know that Jesus applauded and still applauds my efforts.
And she may be well over eighteen, but she is still my responsibility. I will never stop trying to beat the whore out of her.
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 02:12 PM
That is horrid. I cannot believe you think that is love and caring. sorry mate, but that was completely the wrong way to go about making her love the bible.
I would rebel too.
Open your mind and heart
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 02:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea
That is horrid. I cannot believe you think that is love and caring. sorry mate, but that was completely the wrong way to go about making her love the bible.
I would rebel too.
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And I'll bet your father lays on the spankings regularly, doesn't he!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 02:33 PM
You must all have really really boring sex lives.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 02:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
Naturally I beat my daughter for being in possession of a book that is more than likely the brainchild of Satan himself.
"What I do in my bedroom is my business, " she screamed. "I'm a married lady."
"No. You're a married trollop," I retorted. "A married lady lies on her back, with her legs spread at no more than a seventy degree angle, to receive her good husband's member for the purpose of creating more Christians."
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This is disgusting. This is not human behavior. I can't even begin to think of the ways your daughter hates you. This is sick, beyond words.
You are an appalling father. An appalling human being.
If there is a god, and there is a hell, you will be dragged through all seven levels of such a place, and burnt in that special way that only a woman... or make that... child beater... burns.
I have no idea how you sleep at night.
You are a disgrace.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samael
This is disgusting. This is not human behavior. I can't even begin to think of the ways your daughter hates you. This is sick, beyond words.
You are an appalling father. An appalling human being.
If there is a god, and there is a hell, you will be dragged through all seven levels of such a place, and burnt in that special way that only a woman... or make that... child beater... burns.
I have no idea how you sleep at night.
You are a disgrace.
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May I ask what you are basing this on?
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Posts: 15,473
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Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samael
This is disgusting. This is not human behavior. I can't even begin to think of the ways your daughter hates you. This is sick, beyond words.
You are an appalling father. An appalling human being.
If there is a god, and there is a hell, you will be dragged through all seven levels of such a place, and burnt in that special way that only a woman... or make that... child beater... burns.
I have no idea how you sleep at night.
You are a disgrace.
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You are a disgrace and have just earned yourself a nice pile of shiny infraction points for insulting one of GOD'S Favorite Elders.
Brother Hatchet will be sitting next to GOD'S right hand in all his GLORY while you are being raped and tortured in HELL by Satan's minions.
Enjoy Hell idiot.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
May I ask what you are basing this on?
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Did you even READ my post?
And blonde, oh no scary infractions. Do you see me care? I cannot believe you people endorse the beating of women, or any person for that matter.
You certainly hold a strange set of moral values.
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Super Moderator Beloved Church Elder World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samael
Did you even READ my post?
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I certainly did. Have you read mine? It is obvious that you haven't. I am a pillar of moral fortitude, a holy beacon for all to follow in these dark times. Only a retard or a Negro would conclude that I am a disgrace.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet
I certainly did. Have you read mine? It is obvious that you haven't. I am a pillar of moral fortitude, a holy beacon for all to follow in these dark times. Only a retard or a Negro would conclude that I am a disgrace.
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A pillar of moral fortitude? Don't make me laugh. I hope your daughter no longer speaks to you. You are the epitome of a bad father. Nothing drops you further in my eyes than beating your own daughter. You make me feel physically sick, saying <profanity deleted> like what you've said, then trying to claim morality.
And I know nothing I can say will change you. But don't worry. Your day of Judgment will come. Whether that be by the hands of some imaginary deity, or by the cold steel of a speeding bus. Either way, I hope it isn't quick.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:49 PM
Are you a bus driver? Which one do you drive, the short bus? lol. So are you threatening to run over the old man with it?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samael
A pillar of moral fortitude? Don't make me laugh. I hope your daughter no longer speaks to you. You are the epitome of a bad father. Nothing drops you further in my eyes than beating your own daughter. You make me feel physically sick, saying <profanity deleted> like what you've said, then trying to claim morality.
And I know nothing I can say will change you. But don't worry. Your day of Judgment will come. Whether that be by the hands of some imaginary deity, or by the cold steel of a speeding bus. Either way, I hope it isn't quick.
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You have been issued a warning for attempting to murder the good Brother Hatchet.
Expect a knock on your door soon from the United States Department of Faith.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 03:55 PM
actaully, that made me laugh. I drive a Suzuki Van at the moment, the smallest registerable van on the roads. I'm sure if I hit you with it i'd bounce straight off.
http://www.totallycrap.com/videos/vi...ns_over_biker/
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Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) -
02-11-2008, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samael
This is disgusting. This is not human behavior. I can't even begin to think of the ways your daughter hates you. This is sick, beyond words.
You are an appalling father. An appalling human being.
If there is a god, and there is a hell, you will be dragged through all seven levels of such a place, and burnt in that special way that only a woman... or make that... child beater... burns.
I have no idea how you sleep at night.
You are a disgrace.
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I agree.
Samael, i like you =]
Open your mind and heart
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