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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 08-08-2011, 06:49 AM

I didn't know you worshipped Supply Side Jesus...



1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 08-08-2011, 06:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XtianAnarchist View Post
I didn't know you worshipped Supply Side Jesus...

And the anarchist mask comes off. You're nothing but a garden variety commiecrat if you are posting Alf Ranken here.
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 08-08-2011, 06:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
And the anarchist mask comes off. You're nothing but a garden variety commiecrat if you are posting Alf Ranken here.
Not at all...in fact, I despise the liberal/leftist stance of further government intervention in our PERSONAL lives...I just know even a broken clock's right twice a day.


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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 08-08-2011, 07:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XtianAnarchist View Post
Not at all...in fact, I despise the liberal/leftist stance of further government intervention in our PERSONAL lives...I just know even a broken clock's right twice a day.
Of course not, comrade. You post a video that mocks Jesus and is by a well known communist Jew mouthpiece and you're some anarchist.

Your story just doesn't add up.
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 08-08-2011, 11:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by XtianAnarchist View Post
I didn't know you worshipped Supply Side Jesus...

*Jesus-mocking video clip deleted*
It seems that you prefer liebrul wordiness over the Biblical conciseness and mocking Jesus instead of praising Him. You sir, seem to be anarcho-communists, not “Christian anarchist” – which is again, an oxymormon. FYI, commies and anarchists are birds of same feather – traditional allies as for instance during the Spanish Civil War.

2 Corinthians 9:11 Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God

If you don’t like the free-market principle, you can git out of the US of A!

USA! USA! USA! USA!

P.S.: a term “sovereign citizen” is an oxymormon as well.


Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 10-05-2013, 08:38 PM

Pastor Pat wants to reinforce the sermon I gave last Sunday. People who tithe properly have no health or financial problems. None! Praise Jesus and know that if you get sick, it's because you haven't tithed enough.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 10-05-2013, 10:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Pastor Pat wants to reinforce the sermon I gave last Sunday. People who tithe properly have no health or financial problems. None! Praise Jesus and know that if you get sick, it's because you haven't tithed enough.
Timely advice Pastor - with the golf play socialist Obama shutting down the government where would any right thinking Christian want to place his health and financial security. Jesus is open 24/7 with eternal life or ObamaCare and death panels.


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 10-09-2013, 05:01 AM

Thankfully, our libertarian lifestyle is accomplished by hard work, pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps and generous tithes from people like you.

Give yourselves a big hand



into your wallets because HOA dues are coming up


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 01-07-2014, 03:17 PM

Maybe some here have already read about this brave Christian leader's act to put tithing back on top of the priority list.

This is a great example of a pastor(not a real pastor due to having lady-parts, but close enough for this instance, i guess?) standing up for tithing and has lead the way in showing how to properly handle a greedy member of the food-serving-money-lovers industry that, in my opinion, should be thankful to have a job that pays $3.50/hr.

This hot-wing-handler got put in her place when this pastor stood strong for tithing and clearly wrote "I give God 10%, why do you get 18."

This proud voice of God refused to be persecuted and even had the strength to get this chili-cheesefry-monger fired after recognizing and taking credit for the otherwise non-identifiable image of the receipt attached.

Take the hint all of you un-Holy servants of anything other than Our Lord God: Keep your mouths shut and get me some more mozzarella sticks!

Whiny article written by the food wench about blah, blah, blah
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 12-12-2018, 07:58 PM

My husband's just called from what he called "somewhere sandy" to say that he's delayed on business and I need to sort out payment of the tithe due tomorrow. I don't have the Swiss bank details (LBC's, that is - obviously I have ours) and I can't get any reply from the office. Could a Senior Pastor maybe send me a private message about this? Thanks.


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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 12-12-2018, 08:48 PM

Thank you for your help, Pastors - 3 separate messages within 20 minutes!
And, to the forum member who sent me what I suspect are her own details, here's a tip for your future attempts at fraud: Western Union is not a Swiss bank. Shame on you! And may your mouth be filled with gravel (Proverbs 20:17).


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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-15-2019, 07:54 PM

Sorry to be a bore, but Matthew finds himself with what he calls an embarrassing amount of foreign currency again. Does anyone know if we can tithe in Saudi riyals and, if so, where should they be sent? You can call me on the secure landline or PM me. Thanks.


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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-22-2019, 05:54 PM

Never could such a lovely lady be a bore.


I have some very influential banker friends who know just how to handle these kinds of things. Does your husband have anything against Joos? Specifically Joos that are friends with ex-Joos like me? I am kind of their buffer, you see. I make sure your husband doesn't get scammed while they make sure your husband doesn't seem to be scamming! What a deal!


Oh, and for you, Sister, there would be no charge. Just to stare at your beauty is payment enough for this man.
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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-22-2019, 06:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
Never could such a lovely lady be a bore.
I have some very influential banker friends who know just how to handle these kinds of things.
Thank you Morty dear. Such a very kind thought. Fortunately Matthew has no need of the joos on this (or any other) occasion, as everything was sorted out early last week through the usual slightly indirect channels. The pastors are admirably quick to respond to and deal with problems of this nature.


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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-22-2019, 08:12 PM

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Originally Posted by Morton Weinstein View Post
Never could such a lovely lady be a bore. Oh, and for you, Sister, there would be no charge. Just to stare at your beauty is payment enough for this man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Thank you Morty dear. Such a very kind thought. Fortunately Matthew has no need of the joos on this (or any other) occasion.
Oh, dear Sister Joanna: Please be very careful here. Something tells me there is cause for suspicion here, based on that flowery, flattering message from that Morton fellow. Something smells very fishy in his message and it isn't the lox. You know what they say: once a Joo, always a Joo.

A blessed day to you, dear Sister Joanna,
Sincerely, Isabella W.




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Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-22-2019, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Oh, dear Sister Joanna: Please be very careful here. Something tells me there is cause for suspicion here, based on that flowery, flattering message from that Morton fellow.
Please don't fret, Sister Isabella. As my husband puts it, the only dangerous joo is a clever one, so I don't feel in the least bit threatened here.


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Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: True Christian™ Tithe Squad FAQ - 06-22-2019, 08:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Please don't fret, Sister Isabella. As my husband puts it, the only dangerous joo is a clever one, so I don't feel in the least bit threatened here.
Oh, that's so reassuring to learn, dear Sister Joanna, and I do thank you for that. Looking at young Morton's photo, I can see just what your husband means! I suppose we shouldn't be too hard on Morton, though. I'm sure he has a purpose in life somewhere, such as on a dock where he can give helpful advice. Perhaps you've heard the story about the two Joos who were relaxing by the seaside one day. The first one dipped his feet in the water and shouted: “It is cold! It is cold!” The other one dipped his nose and shouted: “It is also very deep!”

A blessed day to you, dear Sister Joanna,
Sincerely, Isabella W.




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