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Default Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 12:23 AM

Ladies, many young soon-to-be mothers in Freehold have asked if it is indeed safe to eat the placenta after giving birth since that horrifying incident with Naomi Portway. Many women have been understandably frightened by the whole affair, but Mr. Etheldreda has a cousin who is a True Christian™ doula, and she assures me that this is indeed a very safe practice. Furthermore, this practice has a long history in various cultures. Granted, they are all heathen cultures, pagan and dastardly, but it just goes to show you how safe it is that even the LORD's enemies are not smitten by eating their own placenta.

A Biblical Look

Jesus tells us, "I am the Bread of Life" (John 6:35). This is but one of the seven "I Am" statements of Jesus. Every time Jesus exclaims, "I Am," He expresses His salvific relationship toward the world. Calling Himself "Bread," Jesus equates Himself with a staple food, a basic dietary item, something we must consume for life. A person can survive a long time on only bread and water. Bread is such a basic food item that it becomes synonymous for food in general. We even use the phrase "breaking bread together" to indicate sharing a meal with someone. When the Jews were wandering in the desert for 40 years, God rained down "bread from heaven" to sustain the nation (Exodus 16:4). No other food was necessary.

This is the backdrop for the scene described in John 6. The Disciples would have immediately thought about Moses when Jesus made this statement. After some time of preaching, the question is raised as to how to feed the crowd. Philip illustrates the typical Jewish lack of faith when he said they don’t have enough money to give each of them the smallest morsel of food. Finally, Andrew brings to Jesus a boy who had five small loaves of bread and two fish. Of course we all remember how Jesus miraculously fed the crowd. Later Jesus tells them, "I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst."

The LORD clearly draws a connection between the Saving Bread in the desert, and the Saving Bread of Jesus.

What This Means For Us Today

Let us now look inside to the womb. For 40 years the Jews wandered in the desert, dependent upon the LORD for sustenance. For 40 weeks a baby wanders, as it were, in an existence dependent upon their mother for sustenance. Just as God fed the Jews with manna, or "daily bread," God feeds the infant with manna, or placenta. Just as bread is staple for food, and Jesus is staple Salvation, placenta is staple for babies.

Coincidence? I think not.

Are we no smarter than the ignorant Jews, to throw away what the LORD has given the most precious of all humanity - the preborn babe? Are we no different than to stick our noses up in the air and declare this is not acceptable (Numbers 11:4–6)? Are we going to ignore that God has provided the placenta with such rich nutrients as iron, vitamin B12, oxytocin, prolactin, prostaglandins and endorphins? Are we going to tell the LORD we know better than He (Isaiah 10:15)? Have we become so dependent upon modern science that we forget our Creator made everything for us (Genesis 1:29-30)? Will we really discard this matronly bread of life in favor of some big pharma vitamins? Do we dare tell the LORD what He provides is naught but garbage?

Don't take my word for it. Google it yourself. Many decent and good Christian women eat the placenta after giving birth, and in doing so, honor the LORD by lovingly consuming this fetal "bread of life."

So in keeping with the spirit of honoring God, I thought we could share our recipes for cooking and storing the placenta, after the little baby is finished with it.

Placenta Lasagne:
Use your favorite Lasagne recipe and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. In 2 tbl. olive oil, quickly saute meat of 3/4 placenta, ground or minced; plus 2 sliced cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/2 diced onion & 2 tbl. tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato.

Placenta Stew:
Meat of 3/4 placenta in bite size chunks, 1 potato (cubed), 1/4 cup fresh parsley, 2 carrots, 3 ribs celery, 1 zucchini, 1 large tomato, 1 small onion. Dredge meat in 1 tbl. flour mixed with 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. paprika, pinch of cloves, pinch of pepper, 6-8 crushed coriander seeds. Saute meat in 2 tbl. oil, then add vegetables (cut up) and 4-5 cups of water. Bring to full boil, then simmer for 1 hour.

Placenta Pizza:
Grind placenta. Saute in 2 tbl. olive oil with 4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. fennel, 1/4 tsp. pepper, 1/4 tsp. paprika, 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/4 tsp. thyme, and 1/4 cup of wine. Allow to stand for 30 minutes, then use with your favorite home made pizza recipe. It's a fine placenta sausage topping.

Placenta Spaghetti:
Cut meat of 3/4 placenta into bite size pieces, then brown quickly in 1 tbl. butter plus 1 tbl. oil. Then add 1 large can tomato puree, 2 cans crushed pear tomatoes, 1 onion, 2 cloves of garlic, 1 tbl. molasses, 1 bay leaf, 1 tbl. rosemary, 1 tsp. ea. of salt, honey, oregano, basil, and fennel. Simmer 1 1/2 hours.






You can also dry the placenta out and make supplements for later use.






And something the children enjoy, a special teddy bear lovingly made from the remains of the placental walls.





Please feel free to share your own favorite recipes.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 01:32 AM

I ate the placenta from all 6 of my birthings, but I just ate it raw. With the twins though I couldn't eat both placentas, so I hopped straight out of bed and made a stew with the second placenta for my husband and the 2 older children, then I went back upstairs to clean up the blood and muck from the babies. The family loved it so much that with my subsequent birthings, I had to eat it straight away, even before my husband was allowed into the room to admire his new son (or daughter). I don't think it would have made it to the kitchen safely, otherwise.
Oh - my recipe for the placenta stew was very similar to yours.
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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 02:37 AM

Placenta with Broccoli

This is a tasty dish that the whole family will love. It might go well served with rice, especially if the rice is loose and firm.
You'll need about 1/2 the placenta of a 6.2 pound baby, or 1/3 the placenta of a 9.3 pound baby. It is going to taste much better if the baby was born of a saved and sanctified mother.

Chopped and packed, this is just a bit more than 1/3 cup. (but like any raw meat, you don't exactly chop it — try snipping away at it with a kitchen scissors)

1/3 cup chopped fresh human placenta, prayed over with 2 Christians in agreement.
2/3 cup chopped broccoli, baptized and drained.
2 egg whites from a Christian chicken
1/8 t thyme, blessed by laying it on a prayer cloth before using
oil for frying with faith

Wash the placenta well, in a colander, then shake it to drain. (it will still leak juices)
Stir the egg whites with a fork until they are without lumps.
Mix all ingredients well, squishing them by hand.
Add a decent amount of oil to a suitable frying pan.
Set a burner to high heat, and put the pan on it.
Start frying, stirring as if stir-frying or scrambling an egg.
The small amount of liquid (seeping from the placenta, plus the egg whites) will come to a boil. You might turn down the heat slightly at this point.
Let the liquid boil away and/or solidify onto the broccoli and placenta.
When it looks yummy, serve it.

As with any meat from uncontrolled sources (such as hunting or scavenging) people should be cautious of risks involved. Certain blood borne diseases can live in blood and tissue outside the body for some time. Be sure that sensible precautions have been taken. Jesus will automatically take these precautions if a True Christian ™ prepares the dish, provided prayer is included in the cooking process.


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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 03:41 AM







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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 02:12 PM

I never go into this forum section again if I want to eat.
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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 04:28 PM

Dear Sister Mary Etheldreda, thank you for your detailed and informative post. There are so many misconceptions about eating placenta - that is is like cannibalism, or that it is a New-Age fad which has no historical or ethnographic basis in human cultures. Thank you, Sister Mary, for taking a stand in defense of placentophagy.

Although God decided not to use the word "placenta" in the KJV Bible, He did not prohibit eating of it - therefore, it is not a sin to eat it.

Like said:

Mark 7:18-19
18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him;
19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats?

Here is my own placenta recipe, with Biblical ingredients. I cannot wait to prepare my placenta after I am married and give birth to my first child (hopefully a son)!

Placenta Pizza:

Ingredients:

Dough:
1 1/2 cups warm water (Revelation 22:1)
1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) of active dry yeast (Galatians 5:9)
3 1/2 cups bread flour (
2 Samuel 17:28; 1 Kings 17:12)
2 Tbsp olive oil (Ezra 6:9; Deuteronomy 8:8)
2 teaspoons salt (Ezra 6:9; Job 6:6)
1 teaspoon Honey (Exodus 33:3; Deuteronomy 8:8; Judges 14:8-9)

Toppings:
1 placenta
4 garlic cloves (Numbers 11:5)
Olive oil (Ezra 6:9; Deuteronomy 8:8)
1/4 teaspoon salt (Ezra 6:9; Job 6:6)
Mozzarella or Parmesan cheese, shredded; Feta cheese (2 Samuel 17:29; Job 10:10)
Onions, thinly sliced (Numbers 11:5)
Optional: tomato sauce (not a Biblical food, though).

Preparation:

Grind placenta. Saute in 2 tbl. olive oil with 4 garlic cloves, then add 1/4 tsp. salt. Allow to stand for 30 minutes.

Add
warm water to a large bowl. Sprinkle on the yeast and let sit for 5 minutes until the yeast is dissolved. Mix in the olive oil, flour, salt and honey. Knead by hand. If the dough seems a little too wet, sprinkle on a bit more flour. Place ball of dough in a bowl that has been coated lightly with olive oil. Turn the dough around in the bowl so that it gets coated with the oil. Cover with plastic wrap. Let sit in a warm place (75-85°F) until it doubles in size, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours (or several hours longer, a longer rise will improve the flavor). Working one ball of dough at a time, take one ball of dough and flatten it with your hands on a slightly floured work surface. Starting at the center and working outwards, use your fingertips to press the dough to 1/2-inch thick. Turn and stretch the dough until it will not stretch further. Let the dough relax 5 minutes and then continue to stretch it until it reaches the desired diameter - 10 to 12 inches. Use your palm to flatten the edge of the dough where it is thicker. You can pinch the very edges if you want to form a lip. Brush the top of the dough with olive oil (to prevent it from getting soggy from the toppings). Use your finger tips to press down and make dents along the surface of the dough to prevent bubbling. Let rest another 5 minutes. Repeat with the second ball of dough. Spoon on tomato sauce (optional). Sprinkle with cheese, and place the toppings on the pizza. Bake for 10-15 minutes at 450F.

Enjoy!


Note: this particular placenta pizza has been prepared with some additional non Biblical ingredients.
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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 01-31-2014, 10:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
I never go into this forum section again if I want to eat.
Hasn't your wife fed you placenta? You don't know what you're missing. It's God's food to mothers.
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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 03-08-2014, 08:36 PM

Mama Mia Placenta Pizza

Ingredients:
1 small can tomato paste
Fresh mushrooms, onions, spinach, and green peppers (about 1/4 cup each)
1 clove garlic
Oregano, 1/3 teaspoon
Freshly grated parmesan (NO STORE BOUGHT CHEESE!)
2 cups freshly shredded mozzarella
Placenta (the fresher the better; this is perfect for those after-birth parties, if you will pardon the pun)

Ladies, you may make your own pizza dough for this OR you can use a Boboli store-made crust if you're a new bride and wish to avoid the beating of your husband/boyfriend/father. However, baptize the Boboli with just enough olive oil to purify it while exorcising the demons through prayers in Jesus' Name.

Preheat oven to about 375 degrees.

Pour 1/2 of the placenta into the bowl of your food processor or your mixing bowl. Add the oregano and 1/2 of the garlic. Pulse until the mixture is smooth, about five pulses.

Add the remaining placenta and garlic and pulse about five more times. If you are using a spoon, you'll need to mix about five minutes. Perfectly enough time to sing "How Great Thou Art!" The Lord loves a woman that sings His praises while cooking!

Pour the mixture into another bowl and dip the Boboli pizza crust into it, being sure to coat all sides. If you are using a homemade crust, use a brush to coat the crust completely for Christ. Save the remaining placenta for other dishes (HINT: How about Placenta Breadsticks? YUM!)

Top the pizza with the ingredients listed above or your own favorite toppings. (Ask the Holy Ghost for guidance)

Sprinkle the mozzarella over the toppings. Put the pizza on a cooking stone or a round pizza pan.

Place the pizza into the oven on the middle rack and check for doneness every seven to nine minutes. Serve hot, with your favorite soft beverage. Your family will beg you to have another child so you can enjoy this tasty treat again and again.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 03-09-2014, 06:36 AM

Tangy Placenta Salsa! EASY EASY EASY!

You'll need:

10 medium tomatillos (about 1 pound) husked, rinsed and roughly chopped
1 ˝ holy jalapenos chopped roughly
1 cup Christlike cilantro/coriander
2 cloves of God's garlic
˝ red, reverent Spanish onion
˝ tsp saved sea salt or more to taste
1 tsp cold pressed extra virgin (Like Mary) olive oil
1 ˝ Tbsp fresh Lord's lime juice or more to taste
And of course, one placenta, umbilical cord removed

Rinse placenta in cool water.

Throw all the ingredients in the blender and pulse a few times until you achieve a rustic blended consistency.

Taste, season and devour. YUM! This is perfect with your favorite tortilla chips and makes a great snack. Be sure to refrigerate what you don't eat at one sitting. Remember: placenta is fine in the refrigerator for about a day, but should be frozen if you're keeping it longer.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
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Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 03-17-2014, 08:54 AM

Far be it from me to step foot in the kitchen, but I thought I'd share a few of the placental delights I've enjoyed over the years. I don't know the actual recipes, since I'm not queer or anything like that, but here are a few of my favorites:


Placenta and onions with apple garnish....Mmmmm


Placenta kebabs, scrumptious!


Placenta tartare- divine!

Nothing like a full quiver and a full stomach!
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Collecting Recipes For Placenta: Fetal Bread Of Life - 12-20-2015, 10:41 PM

I thought at this special, holy time of year, we might consider how Mary might have prepared the Holy Placenta for her family for nourishment after such a divine event! Perhaps she made a nice, hot chili for those cold, December nights!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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