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Default I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 05:04 PM
I was out for a brisk walk yesterday, enjoying the crisp air, blue skies, and companionship with Jesus. As I was was crossing a bridge, I was accosted by two young mormon thugs armed with their "Latter Day Saint" propaganda!
Little did they know that not only did I have Jesus with me, but the full arsenal of Landover Baptist Biblical weaponry!
I whipped out my King James Bible (all decent people should be carrying one at all times), and with appropriate passages and a goodly amount of rebuking, I sent them both running with the fear of God's terrible retribution in their eyes! Praise Jesus!

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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 06:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
I was out for a brisk walk yesterday, enjoying the crisp air, blue skies, and companionship with Jesus. As I was was crossing a bridge, I was accosted by two young mormon thugs armed with their "Latter Day Saint" propaganda!
Little did they know that not only did I have Jesus with me, but the full arsenal of Landover Baptist Biblical weaponry!
I whipped out my King James Bible (all decent people should be carrying one at all times), and with appropriate passages and a goodly amount of rebuking, I sent them both running with the fear of God's terrible retribution in their eyes! Praise Jesus!
Congratulations, Sister. Usually one has to hit them with a fire axe.

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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 06:57 PM
These LSD folks (no, that's not a typo) truly have no shame, but it's comforting to know they'll cease their brainwashing attempts when confronted with the true Word of God instead of the Satanic tome they usually worship. Hopefully they will take the experience to heart and repent before God strikes them dead.

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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 07:01 PM
Once, I was accosted by Witlesses twice within one week! Apparently they realized my brand of True Christianity™ was better than theirs because I have not seen them since. Praise!
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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 07:04 PM
I have found that you can convert most of their members withing thirty minutes if you're properly armed with book and verse. They don't really like their "chruch" and can be led into the flock.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-16-2007, 07:10 PM
It never ceases to amaze me what nonsense the unsaved will believe. Take our Mormon friends. Their big book of fairy tales, besides having been "translated" under questionable circumstances, contradicts both itself and the archeological record. Yet they honestly expect us Saved® True Christians™ to fall for such silliness! Praise Jesus that He effectively guided Sister Mary Maria in rebuking those lemonade-drinking, magic-underwear-wearing, bicycle-riding satanists.

This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-26-2007, 06:17 PM
The only good thing about mormonism is their correct belief that Missouri is God's country. Indeed, 50 to 60 years ago it was practically a utopia (well, at least the white parts).
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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-26-2007, 07:03 PM
Mormons are another group of losers who attempt to slander Jesus favorite church. The vile sinners are so wicked that when they can't get pass the front gate of Freehold out of pure spite they go on a drinking binge until the next night and then wander naked onto I-80 until they are hit by a passing car! All this just to force our poor pastors to go into that city of harlots Des Moines and explain to the Iowa State police that everyone in the city limits of Freehold was in church at the time and none of us own a red pickup truck.

The sinful can be so cruel.


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-26-2007, 08:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
I was out for a brisk walk yesterday, enjoying the crisp air, blue skies, and companionship with Jesus. As I was was crossing a bridge, I was accosted by two young mormon thugs armed with their "Latter Day Saint" propaganda!
I know of one gal who may have gone too far . . . or perhaps, not? Anyway, I think her language may have been a bit strong . . . but perhaps not with Mormons? UNSURE GLENDORA

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Default Re: I was accosted by mormons! - 01-26-2007, 08:20 PM
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The only good thing about mormonism is their correct belief that Missouri is God's country. Indeed, 50 to 60 years ago it was practically a utopia (well, at least the white parts).
There was an old law on the books in Missouri you might find interesting. It seems that it's still legal to shoot mormons there. I lived in MO for some time in my youth. You can still hang people for stealing your horse as well. Too bad the LIE-berals made doing just those things illegal, even though the laws state you can.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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