Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists!
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-06-2011, 10:18 PM

As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
TC Patriot's Avatar
TC Patriot TC Patriot is offline
AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Bronze Tither Christian Love Heaven Bound Gunfest '09 Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator The Lord’s Witness Wound One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth

 
Posts: 1,059
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: In the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.TC Patriot has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 07:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like any person in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety know Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.
It's almost like the bloody sword of Jesus.

This Godly story brought tears of joy to my eyes. Nothing is more Godly than hearing about a Godly Marine thrusting his K-bar into the throat of some Godless gook.



Jesus loves Dick



Cheney/Palin 2012
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Tubba Blubba's Avatar
Tubba Blubba Tubba Blubba is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Homer

 
Posts: 75
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Sweden
Tubba Blubba is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Tubba Blubba is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Tubba Blubba is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 08:41 AM

I've been trying to think of a reply, but after reading your beautiful story, I can't formulate myself through the tears of wonder that stream down my face. Truly, Pastor Pistle is one who loves Jesus.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Gabriel Reproba's Avatar
Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth The Lord’s Witness Wound Saved 1 Year The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Punched the most queers TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Divorcee Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Gabriel Reproba will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 08:57 AM

Words can not express my feelings when I hear stories like this.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
Words can not express my feelings when I hear stories like this.
Indeed moving. Who among us wasn't moved to tears of joy when we listened to Pastor Pistle recount it during a sermon? PROOF POSITIVE That Christ is ALIVE and ACTIVE in the world. GLORY!

And I see no atheists has the guts to explain this powerful witnessing. I guess "Origins" says nothing about first person experience.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Barry's Avatar
Barry Barry is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 266
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The lost Isles of Britain
Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 01-07-2011, 09:56 PM

Not only is this a beautiful story that clearly demonstrates the love of Jesus Christ and the glory God, I also find it truly inspiring. It is clear God wants us to go out with our own knives and rip the throats out of the filthy yellow Gooks that have infiltrated the towns where we live.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Brother-Redemption Brother-Redemption is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: I live in Bon Temp, Louisiana.
Brother-Redemption is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 10-11-2011, 06:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TC Patriot View Post
It's almost like the bloody sword of Jesus.

This Godly story brought tears of joy to my eyes. Nothing is more Godly than hearing about a Godly Marine thrusting his K-bar into the throat of some Godless gook.
Amen brother Patriot. Nothing like a true Christian patriotic story about ridding the world of the evil sin in the world to get the Joyous tears flowing.

This story should be in the bible!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
SantosLHalper SantosLHalper is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Mar 2011
SantosLHalper is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.

So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.

Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".

I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.

You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery True Christian Provider™ award Platinum Tither Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Jailed for JESUS Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Saved 1 Year Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas

 
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 02:56 PM

=SantosLHalper;717373]
Quote:
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.
Are you implying that Pastor Pistle is a papist dog, a Mary worshiping, ring kissing Cathloic? Son this is a Baptist Church, we are Christians.


Quote:
So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.
Have you ever read the Holy Bible? God gives us many circumstances in which killing has been approved and highly recommended.


Quote:
Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".
Are you implying that the story is a lie? I think not its been documented in the Church records.


Quote:
I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.
Jesus has indeed visited you, He sent you here to hear His word. Praise Jesus, now all you have to do is read and listen.
Quote:
You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale
Umm no WE are enlightened in our beliefs, you are left in the dark cold abyss of God Mockery.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 03-24-2011, 03:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SantosLHalper View Post
Oh the hypocrisy.

If you're a supposed "real Catholic", you follow the bible word for word and abide by it.

So, "thou shalt not kill" is a complete crock of sh*t now is it because this clown felt the "saviour's" presence over him? Spare me.

Come on mate. Anyone can make anything up. Ever hear of the saying, "if you 100% believe it, it's not a lie".

I could turn around tomorrow and say that the "lord" came to me in my sleep and you people would lap it up.

You're entitled to your beliefs like I'm entitled to my (non) beliefs but this is nothing more than a fairy tale.
Friend,

As I said, we have Pastor Pistle's knife and Bible, all over with the man's blood in our church, not to mention the citation for bravery the good Pastor got for it. The US Marine Corps says it happened so it happened.

Now quit ducking the question; how did the Pastor knife that guy the throat in the dark his eyes dazzled without the hand of God?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
JustAShadow's Avatar
JustAShadow JustAShadow is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 5
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: on my way to hell
JustAShadow is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Cool Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-03-2011, 08:40 AM

hahaha maybe someone could explain it, if it had been true. Karl Marx died in 1883, long before any "Vietkong". Also, he died after being ill for 15 months.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
hellfire Republican's Avatar
hellfire Republican hellfire Republican is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 48
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Communist Europistan
hellfire Republican is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.hellfire Republican is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.hellfire Republican is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 06-14-2012, 06:31 PM

oh, gosh. I will have to leave this thread. I don't understand much of the ramble. I will come back later, but that was a very touching story about pastor pistle.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Angel of Light's Avatar
Angel of Light Angel of Light is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 38
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Uranus
Angel of Light is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Angel of Light is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-03-2011, 09:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.

It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!

Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!

Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.

Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.

Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?

I await your reply.
Umm, ok. Neurotransmitters, including epinephrine, course through the body in times of peril. This can produce a wide variety of strange sensations, including, but no limited to, warming of the body. Also, since there was light radiating from the explosion, he used his eyes to stab the Vietnamese soldier.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Jo Freddie's Avatar
Jo Freddie Jo Freddie is offline
Unsaved trash
Hateful God mocking pirate
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Full of it Caution - Poster is Crazy Nutjob Meatball Worshiper How dumb can you get? Pot Head

 
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-03-2011, 09:55 AM

I wonder if the stains have ever been tested! After all Al was cook so it could well be Pasta Sauce!


Posted via Pasta

True Pastafarian™

May my Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - HTML version
Loose Canon Fan Page
North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
I have been to The Volcano!

Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
HTannor's Avatar
HTannor HTannor is offline
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™

True Christian™ Tin Tither Real American™ Christian Love Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Punched the most queers Teabag Patriot One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Pro-Life Porn Resistant TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Eats the Most Pork True Republican Proud Niglet Sponsorer

 
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-05-2011, 06:36 PM

You naysayers just make me want to puke. Godly Marines® do not lie.

As for you, Mr. Freddie, when I read that drivel about pasta sauce I immediately made a quick trip to the vestibule. I compared the blood on the bible to the stain on my robe and can attest that is not pasta sauce on display.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Jo Freddie's Avatar
Jo Freddie Jo Freddie is offline
Unsaved trash
Hateful God mocking pirate
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Full of it Caution - Poster is Crazy Nutjob Meatball Worshiper How dumb can you get? Pot Head

 
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-07-2011, 10:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor View Post
You naysayers just make me want to puke. Godly Marines cooks do not lie.

As for you, Mr. Freddie, when I read that drivel about pasta sauce I immediately made a quick trip to the vestibule. I compared the blood on the bible to the stain on my robe and can attest that is not pasta sauce on display.
Is the stain of the same age as that on the Bible?

There are also many different recipes for Pasta sauce.

So even if the stain on your robe was from the same period, if it is not the same type of sauce it is not going to look the same.

All you can attest to is that the stains on the bible are not of a sauce made to the same recipe and as old as the sauce on your robe.


Posted via Pasta

True Pastafarian™

May my Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - HTML version
Loose Canon Fan Page
North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
I have been to The Volcano!

Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Marshall's Avatar
Marshall Marshall is offline
Righteous and Patriotic
Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian Justice of the Peace Eats the Most Pork Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Sons of Liberty Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-08-2011, 01:27 AM

That story never gets old. The Lord has guided righteous soldiers and Marines hands for centuries.

I once made a 350m shot through an open window(on another street!) with my M203 during a near-skirmish in a small village near Rhabis Dhiti. The 40mm HE detonated in the center of the room killing three plainclothed terrorists disguised as college students from the city. One was weeks from getting her doctorate in terrorist medicine! Imagine Osama Bin Dingdongs sister is your kids doctor! The miracle was that I wasnt even aiming! I was just walking along pointing it at different things and it mysteriously fired on it's own. I know Jesus fired that shell.

Pastor Pistle once told me that Jesus prefers helping Marines over the other branches because we are so devout. I believe him. Athians will never be able to explain these sort of combat related miracles. Their narrow minds are too closed to believe it.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Jo Freddie's Avatar
Jo Freddie Jo Freddie is offline
Unsaved trash
Hateful God mocking pirate
 

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Full of it Caution - Poster is Crazy Nutjob Meatball Worshiper How dumb can you get? Pot Head

 
Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Jo Freddie is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-08-2011, 02:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
That story never gets old.
Or any more believable
Any way he is a little marching song for your Marsh'



Posted via Pasta

True Pastafarian™

May my Sauce be with you!
Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Loose Canon - HTML version
Loose Canon Fan Page
North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
I have been to The Volcano!

Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Marshall's Avatar
Marshall Marshall is offline
Righteous and Patriotic
Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian Justice of the Peace Eats the Most Pork Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Sons of Liberty Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-08-2011, 04:27 PM

Are you calling Pastor Pistle a liar?

I am getting flush with righteous anger.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! - 04-08-2011, 09:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
That story never gets old. The Lord has guided righteous soldiers and Marines hands for centuries.

I once made a 350m shot through an open window(on another street!) with my M203 during a near-skirmish in a small village near Rhabis Dhiti. The 40mm HE detonated in the center of the room killing three plainclothed terrorists disguised as college students from the city. One was weeks from getting her doctorate in terrorist medicine! Imagine Osama Bin Dingdongs sister is your kids doctor! The miracle was that I wasnt even aiming! I was just walking along pointing it at different things and it mysteriously fired on it's own. I know Jesus fired that shell.
Another Godly miracle that secularists won't account for. I recalled when the DoF reported that terrorist doctor was being groomed to infiltrate the US to open an abortion clinic in New Jersey. With one twitch of the finger Jesus changed the score to Freedom 1 Al Quida 0.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Pastor Pistle once told me that Jesus prefers helping Marines over the other branches because we are so devout. I believe him. Athians will never be able to explain these sort of combat related miracles. Their narrow minds are too closed to believe it.
GLORY! One branch of the military you will NEVER find atheists in is the US Marines! As they say, on those who have been to war have truly experienced the Love of God for His creation.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
miracles and testimony, proof of god's existence, testimony, vietnam war, witnessing

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved