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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-08-2007, 02:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
IF he did exist, he was obviously hallucinating when Revelation was written.
Not only are you a sinner you are an also a fool. John the Baptist, the man who Salome got decapitated and John the Evangelist, who wrote Revelations are two different people. Both are document in other sources you ignorant harlot. I can only presume you are fixated on John the Baptist due to Oscar Wilde sleazy play about Salome. Too bad you couldn't have done something useful instead, like read Joesphus' books.

And BTW thank you for your caustic attack on poor Sister Mary. We do applicate our threads being derailed



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-08-2007, 06:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
My integrity and self-respect prevents me from apologizing when I do not believe I have done anything wrong.
You see, that's what's wrong with you - and America - right there. A woman with self-respect? Jesus weeps.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-08-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Not only are you a sinner you are an also a fool. John the Baptist, the man who Salome got decapitated and John the Evangelist, who wrote Revelations are two different people. Both are document in other sources you ignorant harlot. I can only presume you are fixated on John the Baptist due to Oscar Wilde sleazy play about Salome. Too bad you couldn't have done something useful instead, like read Joesphus' books.

And BTW thank you for your caustic attack on poor Sister Mary. We do applicate our threads being derailed

Actually it was YOUR PASTOR who made the claim that the Baptist wrote Revelation.
06-06-2007, 11:36 PM
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Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Armageddon? You mean the scenario John described after ingesting some bad 'shrooms? I don't try to live according to other people's bad hallucinogenic trips.

So now you accuse John the Baptist (whom you do not believe existed) was a narcotics user.....And having used some "bad" narcotics (are there "good" ones?) he went on to write down in the Holy Bible (which you don't believe a word of) a vision given by God Himself (whom you don't believe in) about what we can expect when Armageddon comes (which I presume you also think is an "outdated joke").....

Can you back your wildly hostile and antiChristian claims up with even the slightest of evidence?
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-08-2007, 10:55 PM

God answers all prayers, my friends, and His answer to my prayer requesting He smite this thread-derailing witch? A resounding "No!" He has clearly placed her here to test us, and we shall persevere in our faith! PRAISE!


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-15-2007, 03:34 PM

Speaking of God testing good True Christian™ folk... PRAISE! I'm sure you all have heard of Sister Bertha Johnston, right? To jog your memories, she is the woman whose oldest son, David, committed suicide last September at the age of 17, just two years after the rest of the family was Saved and moved to Freehold (if they were only Saved while he was much younger, he would have been raised in the Lord and would likely still be alive today). Well, she is pleased as punch to report that God is testing her even more and her faith is unwaivering! She has just found out that her youngest son, Cody (4), has been given leukemia by our Lord, and instead of blubbering and sobbing and asking God why, she has been praying to Him and letting Him know she knows He has done this for a reason and if that reason is good enough for Him, it's good enough for her!
Sister Bertha said in her e-mail to me, "God never gives you more than you can handle, and thanks to His grace, I've been able to handle this all very well. I feel very blessed that He has chosen to test me like this, and I am very thankful to everyone in the congregation who is praying for me right now."
PRAISE!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-15-2007, 03:47 PM

You know Sister, that makes me go all funny inside just thinking about how that good Woman has found God and is prepared to take on all His tests.

I can only think that Cody hated God so much that God had no choice.
Reminds me of the story of little Andrew.....

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-15-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Speaking of God testing good True Christian™ folk... PRAISE! I'm sure you all have heard of Sister Bertha Johnston, right? To jog your memories, she is the woman whose oldest son, David, committed suicide last September at the age of 17, just two years after the rest of the family was Saved and moved to Freehold (if they were only Saved while he was much younger, he would have been raised in the Lord and would likely still be alive today). Well, she is pleased as punch to report that God is testing her even more and her faith is unwaivering! She has just found out that her youngest son, Cody (4), has been given leukemia by our Lord, and instead of blubbering and sobbing and asking God why, she has been praying to Him and letting Him know she knows He has done this for a reason and if that reason is good enough for Him, it's good enough for her!
Sister Bertha said in her e-mail to me, "God never gives you more than you can handle, and thanks to His grace, I've been able to handle this all very well. I feel very blessed that He has chosen to test me like this, and I am very thankful to everyone in the congregation who is praying for me right now."
PRAISE!
Thanks for sharing! Nothing gets me hotter under the collar than people who seek medical treatment for these illnesses! By faith, we can lay hands on them, form anti-cancer prayer groups and such. I know one such gent in my church who got splashed on his testicles with holy water while touring a Cathlick church, and he got cancer on the very spot, but by leaning on Christ through prayer (and convincing him to give up his accu-chink pins and Beelzedrugs and give it to GOD!) we kept him alive for many days! The LOrd finally got jealous and smited him, but He works in mysterious ways!
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-15-2007, 04:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I can only think that Cody hated God so much that God had no choice.
You know, Sister Talitha, I thought the exact same thing at first too, but it's quite the opposite! Sister Bertha says that little Cody loves Jesus more than ever, and he is ecstatic that the Lord is using his frail body to test his mommy! He said that if Jesus decides to kill him, he will wait for his mommy in Heaven and will be sure to wave to his brother down in Hell and try to throw him snacks. Isn't that just adorable?


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-16-2007, 06:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I'm sure that if Jesus drove a vehicle, it would be one that was more environmentally friendly.
Like a Camel.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-16-2007, 09:37 AM

Jesus would drive something BIG and AMERICAN

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-16-2007, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo View Post
Like a Camel.


LOL! Now that yoou mention it, he did ride into Jeruslem on a colt. Seems like he WOULD prefer some sort of livestock as opposed to an internal combustion engine.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 01:12 AM

If you'll all kindly allow me, I have a little praise from my own life today!
As many of you are aware, the owner of my favorite chastity belt store, SAVED!... For Marriage, Brother William Renfrew, has retired and is moving to Florida to preach to the catlicks and joos who infest the state (and people wonder why God smites it with hurricanes so often).
Well, my husband, Mr. Whitford, has been wanting to diversify his holdings and would like to keep this fine store in business, so he purchased it and the sale became final today! PRAISE!
The fine customer service will continue to excel. Everyone who walks through the entrance will be witnessed to, and the matronly Doris will be staying on to fit and lock all chastity belts, and all keys will still be given directly to the ranking male authority figure.
My husband, Mr. Whitford, is even going to expand the stock to not just new brands of chastity belt, but to other marriage-related products as well. The first item he's bringing in are custom rods, measured to the thickness of the husband's thumb. At first they will only be available in oak, birch, and pine (my favorite, as it stings like the dickens and raises very red welts, but leaves very little in the way of bruising).
As if this wasn't enough to sing praises to Jesus, there is more. My husband, Mr. Joseph Whitford, has given me permission to make an offer to the fine True Christians of this board. To celebrate this change in ownership, everything is going to be on sale at 20% off. But if you mention this post, you will get an additional 10% deduction on anything in the store! PRAISE!
So next time you're at the Landover Christian Mall, please drop by and check the store out. I won't be there, of course, as I'm forbidden to work, but say hello to Doris!


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 12:59 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
If ...Well, my husband, Mr. Whitford, has been wanting to diversify his holdings and would like to keep this fine store in business, so he purchased it and the sale became final today! PRAISE!
...My husband, Mr. Whitford, ...
...My husband, Mr. Joseph Whitford...

Just out of curiosity, why do you refer to your husband as "Mr." as though you were a child addressing an adult? Does he refer to you as "Mrs. Whitford?"
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 01:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Just out of curiosity, why do you refer to your husband as "Mr." as though you were a child addressing an adult? Does he refer to you as "Mrs. Whitford?"
Of course she's Mrs. Whitford. Do you think we True Christians allow our women to use that feminazi crap "Ms."?

She is Mrs. Joseph Whitford. What's wrong with that?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 01:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Of course she's Mrs. Whitford. Do you think we True Christians allow our women to use that feminazi crap "Ms."?

She is Mrs. Joseph Whitford. What's wrong with that?

I was just curious as to why married people wouldn't be on a first name basis.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 01:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I was just curious as to why married people wouldn't be on a first name basis.
His first name is Joseph, what's wrong with that? She's Mrs. Joseph.

You feminazis just whine all the live long day, don't you?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-21-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
His first name is Joseph, what's wrong with that? She's Mrs. Joseph.

You feminazis just whine all the live long day, don't you?

You know exactly what I meant, and you're being deliberately obtuse.
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-22-2007, 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Just out of curiosity, why do you refer to your husband as "Mr." as though you were a child addressing an adult? Does he refer to you as "Mrs. Whitford?"
I call my husband Mr. Whitford because that's his name, and I respect him and he is the head of the household. When he introduces me to people, he refers to me as Mrs. Whitford, but around the house he calls me Mary.
The man is the head of the woman, and Jesus is the head of the man. You don't think he goes around referring to the Lord as "J.C.", do you? No, he uses His proper name out of respect!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-22-2007, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
I call my husband Mr. Whitford because that's his name, and I respect him and he is the head of the household. When he introduces me to people, he refers to me as Mrs. Whitford, but around the house he calls me Mary.
The man is the head of the woman, and Jesus is the head of the man. You don't think he goes around referring to the Lord as "J.C.", do you? No, he uses His proper name out of respect!


When my husband and I introduce each other to people, we do so with first names. I say "This is my husband Bob." He says "This is my wife Lynn."
So around the house do you call him Joe?
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Default Re: Sister M&M's Praise Report - 06-22-2007, 04:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
When my husband and I introduce each other to people, we do so with first names. I say "This is my husband Bob." He says "This is my wife Lynn."
So around the house do you call him Joe?
Certainly not! I call him Mr. Whitford and sir! It's called respect and I respect my husband and submit to him joyfully!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
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