Just as a footnote, I'd like to point out here that my company recently bought up
Mars, Incorporated. The company was a family business started in 1911 and management didn't want to sell, but they were forced to liquidate after discovering that the mortgage-backed securities and collateralized debt obligations we sold them two years ago were all fraudulent. With their backs to the wall, we were able to pick up the whole company for a song! Now that it's ours, we're cutting production costs by shipping the chocolate factories to China.
Now made in China. New melamine flavor!
Similarly, we picked up the
MoonPie company - which has been in business since 1929 - by printing up credit-default swaps which we assured the management were rock-solid investments that had a triple-A rating. Since we own the rating agency, that wasn't hard to do. You know the old saying about how "a sucker is born every minute." Anyway, the layed-off MoonPie employees started a sit-in outside my company's corporate headquarters, so we had to call in the National Guard and to arrest and charge the union thugs with terrorism - they're now cooling their heels in Guantanamo.
The Mars and MoonPie factories are now located in the same prison facility in China, just next to the orphanage where we recruit extra workers when needed. Consolidating the factories with the prison, orphanage and organ-transplant medical center increases efficiency. Plus you'll never guess how we get rid of the unwanted body parts after the transplant organs are removed!
Produced for children by children
Anyway, the reason I'm mentioning all this is because due to these recent acquisitions, my company now owns the trademarks
Mars™ and
Moon™. This means that Obama's fake space program is infringing, and we have decided to sue. We will not tolerate unlicensed use of our intellectual property. Fortunately, we just recently negotiated a deal where NASA pays us 50% of their budget to license the words "Mars" and "Moon." It's yet another win-win situation for public-private partnerships!