Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed! |
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 04:44 AM
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 04:58 AM
1. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Neither! SALVATION through FAITH in CHRIST!
2. Only athiests claim that eggs are bad for your heart!
3. JESUS! Hatching SALVATION since Easter Sunday, 33 AD.
I hope it was ok to put three. I couldn't decide which one I liked best.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 05:06 AM
Bock, cluck, cluck, bock, bock, bock, bock.. I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 81
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Wherever JESUS tells me to live.
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 03:17 PM
This caption will win the hearts of those non-English speaking inhumane Chinks:
"Y yu no love JESUS long time"
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 04:59 PM
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Luke 11:11-13
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 05:26 PM
Isaiah 59:5
They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web: he that eateth of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed breaketh out into a viper.
It doesn't make much sense to me but it mentions eggs and hatching
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,341
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 10:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
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Jesus can fix anything!
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Broken heart? Broken life? High cholesterol?
Let Jesus into your life!
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The Easter Bunny never brought anyone Salvation.
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They broke His Body, but He came back! You, too can be made whole again!
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It takes faith to see how this can be made whole again.
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You have to break a stubborn heart before you can know Jesus.
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Putting back together broken lives is His speciality.
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I break for Jesus!
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His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-27-2012, 10:45 PM
Don't wind up like Humpty-Dumpty!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 10:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
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He Has Risen
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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03-28-2012, 10:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
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Without Jesus you are but an empty shell.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 10:36 AM
This could have been a chicken!
(Sponsored by the GOP)
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Guest
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Posts: 222
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Location: American Owned ™ Caananda.
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 12:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
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Just to be clear, is the prize a Hamite or a ham?
Servant Herbert.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 01:31 PM
NO JELLY BEANS FOR YOU!!!
Posted via Mobile Device
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
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"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
Bless you, my future ham sender,
Father Mo
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A Cardinal in the making.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 05:15 PM
Daisy, you can simply order me a spiral cut Virgnia ham and I'll pick it up, no need to ship it.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
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Just a word of warning about those sprial sliced hams. When we lived in the city I used to buy one from our Honeybaked Ham store. (Mods pleasse remove the actual name of the store if those satanic lawyers they use would say that this is slander) I didn't think that it would be owned by the athiestic jews and catholics, but it was. I PRAYED for forgivness from CHRIST, and I know I've received it, but I also must warn others.
Our local HoneyBaked Ham store was owned by jews and catholics! They even hired lesbians to work there! It is not a place to buy food for a CHRISTIAN family!!
Also, I wouldn't buy any spiral sliced anything. The spiral is a pagan symbol. I wouldn't want it on my food!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by no father of mine
"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
Bless you, my future ham sender,
Father Mo
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Indeed. You have to accept Jesus (not Mary!) to be saved.
Bless you, my future ex-Catholic.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-28-2012, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
"Your eternal salvation is no shell game. Accept Jesus or the yolks on you!"
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For once we are in agreement, Mr. Maurice (I think) (am still pondering if there's a snide, heretical joke in there)
Maybe the caption could be:
"You Have to Break a Few Eggs to be a True Christian™"
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-29-2012, 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Best Caption wins an Easter Ham medal!
Good luck and remember JESUS is watching you.
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An Easter ham medal??
"Happy Easter! You have this many chances left to permanently abandon your life of sin before I kill you and drop-kick you into My Lake of Fire. Is it 2? Or is it 1? Better ask yourself, punk . . . Do I feel lucky?"
"It was supposed to be 3 days, but I couldn't wait to give you the gift of Salvation!"
"This many George Carlin jokes crack Me up."
"TXTNG U MY <3: KJV1611 :)"
"GOT MY TXT? KJV! <3"
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Bible Belt, PRAISE JESUS!
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Re: Easter Contest! Best Caption Wins an Easter Ham! -
03-30-2012, 03:39 PM
The Son Also Rises
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