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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
09-28-2012, 04:44 AM
Brothers in CHRIST,
It's been a long time coming, but it seems that my JESUS has sent my wife the menopause.
I have been told this means that she is no longer able to produce children, although I'm confident that GOD could work a miracle for us and cause my wife to become pregnant any time He wants her to.
I have been waiting for that miracle since I married her in 1982, and I am starting to lose hope that she will ever get pregnant.
Since it is obvious that GOD doesn't want my wife to be pregnant (it is no doubt her own fault) I am left with two options:
1. Sell my wife in accordance with GOD's law and get a better one who is blessed with a fertile womb,
Or,
2. Take the plunge and become a True Christian eunuch in accordance with JESUS' instructions in the Bible.
I really don't want to sell her. I don't need the money, and she is a fine cook.
On the other hand, I can't have sex with her anymore since it would be non-procreative, and that would be a waste of my precious seed.
I do not want to lapse into the downward spiral of masturbation, so I am thinking of just becoming a eunuch for JESUS.
Maybe some of my True Christian eunuch friends would like to advise me?
Thank you, brothers!
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
09-28-2012, 06:25 AM
If she's all dried up, there's obviously no need for s*x. But as long as she's a cripple, you can still put her to work around the house. In fact, you can work her twice as hard, since she'll no longer be bringing young soldiers for Christ into the world.
Since you will not be having s*x any more, your testicles can only lead you into temptation. Jesus spoke directly to this in Matthew 19:12, but parallels can also be drawn with Jesus' exhortation to amputate other body parts that may lead to sinfulness.
Mark 5:29-30
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
When you consider the advancements in elective amputational surgery, we have it a lot easier that the early Christians. There's really no reason not to go through with it if you have had all the children God is going to give you. Pray on this, but as a Christian, I think the choice is clear.
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
09-29-2012, 07:54 PM
Thank you for your advice, brother.
I have been praying on the matter, and GOD is telling me that I would be a lot happier without testicles.
I admire the courage of True Christian eunuchs like Born Again Bob and the brilliant Professor Bessemer.
I'm going to get in touch with them about a True Christian surgeon, or perhaps a True Christian faith healer who can pray my testicles away.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
09-29-2012, 08:07 PM
Dear Brother,
Quote:
Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch?
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Having met your wife, I have to ask -- why choose?
Also, no need for a surgeon. You just need pinking shears and a creme brulee torch. I'll send you the kit at the "friends and family" rate.
Yours in Him,
bab
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Oct 2012
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
10-02-2012, 09:14 PM
Maybe you should just love your wife for who she is.Since you can't have kids now maybe you should adopt a child. You're probably against abortion and you could help a child who needs it, but your not a fit parent so throw that idea out. I don't get why you're a sexist asshole. Good?
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
10-02-2012, 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllLove
Maybe you should just love your wife for who she is.Since you can't have kids now maybe you should adopt a child. You're probably against abortion and you could help a child who needs it, but your not a fit parent so throw that idea out. I don't get why you're a sexist asshole. Good?
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You haven't read the Bible, have you?
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
10-02-2012, 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllLove
Maybe you should just love your wife for who she is.Since you can't have kids now maybe you should adopt a child. You're probably against abortion and you could help a child who needs it, but your not a fit parent so throw that idea out. I don't get why you're a sexist asshole. Good?
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How does this help him with his problem of having a sex drive and no productive way to use it?
Please think before opening your pie hole next time, OK, missy?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
10-04-2012, 11:25 AM
Brother Bob4God, I have a widow daughter who isn't remarried yet you might be interested in. She is stupid, but she can cook well and has many child bearing years left. I also properly taught her not to talk back. She hasn't said a word since 1997.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllLove
Maybe you should just love your wife for who she is.
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Have you even met her? Or do you just like the sound of your own ramblings?
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Should I Sell my Wife or Become a Eunuch? -
10-03-2012, 12:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
Thank you for your advice, brother.
I have been praying on the matter, and GOD is telling me that I would be a lot happier without testicles.
I admire the courage of True Christian eunuchs like Born Again Bob and the brilliant Professor Bessemer.
I'm going to get in touch with them about a True Christian surgeon, or perhaps a True Christian faith healer who can pray my testicles away.
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Brother Fore,
As a 100% straight, cured Ex-Gay© True Christian™ Doctor of Scientheism, I can say with certainty that whichever of these Biblically correct options you choose, it will be the correct path. The Lord righteously chose to take my genitals during my Ex-Gay© therapy, I had no choice in the matter. He, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, smote me with the necrotizing fasciitis in my crotch to show me just how much my former life as a disgusting sodomite had displeased Him.
And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;
Colossians 2:13-14
You are currently a saved True Christian™, therefore all of your choices will be Biblically correct. You walk in perfection with Jesus, you cannot make an incorrect decision. Therefore, if you choose to sell your wife, God will smile upon you. If you choose to castrate yourself, The Lord will bless you and your righteous choice.
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.
Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.
They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways.
Psalm 119:1-3
Now, as to which of these options I would recommend, I think that should be obvious. Having no genitals whatsoever is wonderful! My clothes fit better, I never need to adjust myself before I sit down, hygiene is a breeze, I could go on and on! If you choose to keep your penis to more easily facilitate urination, I would wager to guess you would later regret that decision. My rerouted urethra handles the discharging of liquid waste just fine.
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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