The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Posts: 6
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Hello fellow Christians -
10-21-2014, 01:37 PM
Im starting this thread to introduce myself to my fellow brothers. In sahem i tell you that i used to hail from a Catholic "Church", but now i have seen the thruth and i have joined Landover Baptist Church!
"But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head..." 1 Corinthians 11:5
If Mary always wore a veil... why shouldn't they?
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-21-2014, 01:43 PM
Congratulations on leaving the cult of the Roman papists! Say, why not tell us what church you really go to (I know it's not Landover Baptist, new registrants undergo a lengthy scrutiny and then probation period only after a tithing contract has been signed), and how you came to find Jesus. But, what do you mean "in sahem" you tell us something? Is that a Catholic thing?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 285
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Islamic Caliphate of Germany
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-21-2014, 02:25 PM
and congratulations for leaving the catholic cult. If you want to talk about what the "fathers" did to you we're here for you, to listen and give Bible-based advice! God led you to the right place
Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-21-2014, 08:01 PM
Welcome and thank God for leaving the Cathylick "church". Praise the Lord! What church do you attend, Brother? Also, what is your name, so that I may call you by it?
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: On the way to Heaven
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 07:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Congratulations on leaving the cult of the Roman papists! Say, why not tell us what church you really go to (I know it's not Landover Baptist, new registrants undergo a lengthy scrutiny and then probation period only after a tithing contract has been signed), and how you came to find Jesus. But, what do you mean "in sahem" you tell us something? Is that a Catholic thing?
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I meant shame, Mary Etheldra. I go to the Baptist Church of Springfield in Maine.
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Posts: 6
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 07:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lstark16
Welcome and thank God for leaving the Cathylick "church". Praise the Lord! What church do you attend, Brother? Also, what is your name, so that I may call you by it?
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You can call me Luke sister! Thank you all for the kind words :-D.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGodlyMan
If Mary always wore a veil... why shouldn't they?
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I liked what you said in your first post, until I got to that! What has Mary to do with it? She was merely the vessel that God used to produce His Son. We're not Mary worshippers here
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 08:51 AM
We seem to be glossing over this fellow's initial false claim that he'd already joined our church.
Boy, are you with the ATF or any other federal policing agency? I can smell a mole from a mile away, so I suggest you think carefully before trying to deceive me.
Also, everything we're doing here is legal according to Libertarian principles of Natural Law. Why can't you people just leave us alone? Don't you have a porous border you're supposed to be dealing with?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 09:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
We seem to be glossing over this fellow's initial false claim that he'd already joined our church.
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Well spotted, Brother. Proverbs 19:9, eh?
Is anyone here familiar with the Baptist Church of Springfield in Maine? I have never heard of it.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Under Investigation
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 11:20 AM
Why so much hate for another christian brother?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 11:25 AM
Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things doth the Lord hate:
Yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations,
Feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, And he that soweth discord among brethren.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 12:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGodlyMan
Why so much hate
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Hate?
I see nothing but the love of Christ Jesus in reply to your rather impolite introduction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGodlyMan
for another christian brother?
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You're not my brother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGodlyMan
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
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Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail;
whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-22-2014, 09:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGodlyMan
Why so much hate for another christian brother?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
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Since you're being evasive, I will ask you again:
Are you with the ATF or any other federal policing agency?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-23-2014, 01:32 AM
I've been asked by one of our European correspondents to clarify what ATF means. It stands for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, i.e., Obama's jack-booted thugs.
But TrueGodlyMan already knows that, because he's working undercover for them.
Come at me, bro. I got permits for all these guns.
Not that I should need permits!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: On the way to Heaven
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-23-2014, 03:20 PM
What gave me away?
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello fellow Christians -
10-23-2014, 08:34 PM
Boy, I can smell a federal agent from a mile away. Don't worry, though, even a fed can dedicate his life to Jesus Christ. Just burn any evidence you've collected against us, and get down on your knees and ask Jesus to take control of your existence. Do it right now!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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