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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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nDrew777 nDrew777 is offline
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Default Repent - 09-04-2014, 08:39 PM

I speak to all sinners.

REPENT, OR BURN IN HELL !!!!!!
Stop sinning !!!!
Bow to your knees, accept Jesus, or you'll rot in burning Hell forever and ever !!!!!

Praise God, praise Jesus !!
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 08:58 PM

GLORY HALLELUJAH!

HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST!

JESUS CHRIST IS KING OF KINGS
AND LORD OF LORDS!

THOSE WHO DO NOT REPENT WILL BE STRUCK DOWN IN THEIR PRIDE AND ARROGANCE
NOW AND FOR ETERNITY!

PRAISE GOD!!!





Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 09:14 PM

Aaahm... Can I ask something my dear brothers and sisters?

Can I get "True Christian" title?

I repented all of my sins, I pay tithe, I know the godly King James Bible,
I bless godly America and godly LBC.

and ...

I LOVE JESUS !!!!!
PRAISE GOD, forever and ever.
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nDrew777 View Post
Can I get "True Christian" title?
No.

Once you have proven yourself to Jesus you can become a True Christian™. Studying your Bible 24/7 and praising Jesus by posting a lot of relevant scripture will, given patience time and prayer, increase your chances of pleasuring our Lord and Saviour. Tithing a lot of money to our Pastors also helps as they are extra close to Jesus.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 09:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nDrew777 View Post
Aaahm... Can I ask something my dear brothers and sisters?

Can I get "True Christian" title?

I repented all of my sins, I pay tithe, I know the godly King James Bible,
I bless godly America and godly LBC.

and ...

I LOVE JESUS !!!!!
PRAISE GOD, forever and ever.
Do you remember where you sent the check? I just got off the phone with Miss Cookie and she has no record of your tithing in the office.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

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nDrew777 nDrew777 is offline
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 09:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
No.

Once you have proven yourself to Jesus you can become a True Christian™. Studying your Bible 24/7 and praising Jesus by posting a lot of relevant scripture will, given patience time and prayer, increase your chances of pleasuring our Lord and Saviour. Tithing a lot of money to our Pastors also helps as they are extra close to Jesus.
I study the Bible 24/7, you can test me brother, if you want

HALLELUJAH, GLORY TO GOD, Praise Jesus !!!!
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 09:50 PM

You're too eager. Practice some patience!

Romans 12:12 - King James Version (KJV)

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

Romans 8:25 - King James Version (KJV)

But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Galatians 6:9 - King James Version (KJV)

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 10:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
...your chances of pleasuring our Lord and Saviour...
You did mean "pleasing", because connotations?


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Default Re: Repent - 09-04-2014, 10:26 PM

Ephesians 1:5 - King James Version (KJV)

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 05:05 AM

I always have to laugh when I see you folks who are young in your faith clamoring for that True Christian™ title. All you can think about is the glory and privilege.

Trust me friend, you have no idea how much responsibility a True Christian™ bears, and how much work it is.

Why, sometimes I even get nostalgic for the old days, when I had the luxury of just laying around all day, wallowing in my sin, and not saving souls. Enjoy that slack while you can, buddy, because a True Christian™ is never off duty!


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 12:21 PM

Last night, I had a dream.
God told me, that I am True Christian now, and he told, that I ask this title from you.

So please, give me True Christian title, I fulfilled every requirement to became true Christian.

Give me this title, this is God's will.

I'm sure that you are obedient, true Christians, who always do what God wants, you are always obedient.
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 01:01 PM

Dear friend, not all dreams are Godly dreams:

[Jude 1:7-8 KJV] 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire. 8 Likewise also these [filthy] dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

God, Who commands us to do all things decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40), would never gainsay Himself in a dream.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 01:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Enjoy that slack while you can, buddy, because a True Christian™ is never off duty!
Not to mention the void it leaves in your life. Ever since I became a True Christian™, there is frankly no loftier goal left to aspire to. Fortunately, Jesus is there to fill that hole, but taking on that exalted mantle before one's spirit is prepared to receive Him could precipitate quite the existential crisis. We don't want you to pull a Robin Williams. It's for your own good.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nDrew777 View Post
Last night, I had a dream.
God told me, that I am True Christian now, and he told, that I ask this title from you.

So please, give me True Christian title, I fulfilled every requirement to became true Christian.

Give me this title, this is God's will.

I'm sure that you are obedient, true Christians, who always do what God wants, you are always obedient.
Sweetie, haven't I told you in another thread you were whining, that the DoF is busy reviewing thousands of applications? As an ex-commie you should remember the long lines to the meat store "because they brought some meat." Whining couldn't miraculously get you to the front of the line. Waiting patiently did. (Of course, women with small children [and I think the elderly] were allowed to go to the front of the line, which in practice meant that there were two lines, one for women with children [and the elderly] and the other for everyone else).

(If you are too young to remember such stuff, ask your parents).
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 03:18 PM

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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Whining couldn't miraculously get you to the front of the line. Waiting patiently did.
Though by that time, they had usually run out of meat. Fortunately this is not the case with God. God will still be there, however long you have to wait.

Psalm 100:5
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; And his truth endureth to all generations.


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 03:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife View Post
Though by that time, they had usually run out of meat.
True, which is why there was an extensive black market for exotic luxury products such as meat and toilet paper. (In the meat store, there was no meat on the shelves, but if you were friends with the clerk there was some meat under the shelves for you). Not suggesting that there is any analogy there, but you know, the nicer you are to people in power the better results you usually get, you know.

Quote:
Fortunately this is not the case with God. God will still be there, however long you have to wait.
True. Also, God doesn't have an expiration date, while all the flour, butter and other perishables people were able to get in the commie states were usually half year past their expiration date. (What a bunch of idiots, weren't they?)
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Default Re: Repent - 09-05-2014, 04:13 PM

Hello nDrew777.

I am also not a True Christian™ and I have a lot of green boxes and I have even changed my Last Will and Testament to give money to Landover Baptist Church because my children are not very good and I accidentally killed my wife but Pastor Ezekiel told me that I have to be patient he is very nice his belt is reversible one side is black and one side is maroon.

Thank you.

Rusty


Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Default Re: Repent - 09-06-2014, 01:35 PM

I don't know why you should get a True Christian title by your name! You certainly haven't proven yourself in scripture and frankly I've been here longer than you have and I'm still not blessed to hold the True Christian title by my name.


Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."
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Default Re: Repent - 09-07-2014, 10:51 PM

What is different between you and the Pharisees?
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Default Re: Repent - 09-07-2014, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nDrew777 View Post
What is different between you and the Pharisees?
For starters, we are Blood-Bought Children of the Lamb, not Christ-killing Jews. Are there any more idiotic questions you would like to float, or would you like to start spending your time more productively, as in praising Jesus and reading the Bible?


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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