The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-07-2014, 06:38 PM
Oh...
Um, yes. Yes, yes, of course. Matthew. Please do give your husband my best regards.
WARNING:
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REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-07-2014, 08:10 PM
My, did I hear the "whoosh" of enthusiasm just go out the window?
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-07-2014, 08:45 PM
Just between Jesus and the rest of the forum, I have suspected that Sister Attila has been a bit "off" recently, although I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Some time ago there was speculation - quite juicy speculation - that Mr. Hun was not actually deceased. This was quickly placed under the rug and even though evidence was supposedly published indicating that Mr. Hun met his demise, I was not satisfied nor were many others.
All that aside, I do continue to lift her in prayer before the mighty throne of God whenever I kneel in my padded prayer stall in my luxuriously appointed prayer chapel in my luxuriously appointed home in the exclusive Apostle's Park section of the Godly town of Freehold: Sin Not Welcome!
I would love to send Sister Attila a gift - I know just how much she values my friendship - and I hope you'll pass my best wishes to our dear, sweet, kind, precious OLD friend.
In love and respect for the elderly,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-07-2014, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Hello everyone. ......
I am the proud wife of Matthew and the loving mother of 6 children, 5 boys and a girl. Number 7 (please join us in praying for a boy) is due in November. I am also stepmother to Matthew's 3 girls by a previous marriage. His first wife died in childbirth - we sometimes wonder whether she turned up her toes in despair at producing a third daughter.
...........
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Sister Joanna, I see from your introduction you seem to come from good breeding stock and but for 1 attempt you have a perfect record for producing man children, A JOB WELL DONE! I have to believe it is your lineage as your husband's track record isn't very good when you include his 1st wife.
I have been without wife for several years now and have decided that I should consider remarrying. I have not remarried sooner because I thought the Rapture was just around the corner, unfortunately it hasn't happened. My question to you is have you chosen a husband for your daughter yet? If not, how old is she? Is she of good health and sound mind? This is a bit worrisome after hearing the tale of Mrs Hun, but as you said their is no blood relation between your children and Mrs Hun.
If you could have your husband contact me with his contractual desires for my taking his daughter as wife. I will be happy to send him my resume and financial audit along with personal references. Of course I would like your daughter audited by The Ladies of Landover to judge her wifely abilities and to voice any deficiencies that might be found.
I have always felt that a more mature woman is prime for marrying so I don't mind waiting a couple of years of ''engagement'' until she is 14 or 15.
YIC Benedict
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
I have always felt that a more mature woman is prime for marrying so I don't mind waiting a couple of years of ''engagement'' until she is 14 or 15.
YIC Benedict
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Dear Mr. Davis,
May I suggest waiting for a woman just a few years older. Us stupid women mature so much during those years between 14-17 that it really makes a difference. By the time a girl is seventeen, she is more mature and is in general more capable of following her husband's commands as said in Ephesians 5:22. However, please take my suggestion as just that; I mean no harm to your godly, male character.
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 03:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lstark16
Dear Mr. Davis,
May I suggest waiting for a woman just a few years older. Us stupid women mature so much during those years between 14-17 that it really makes a difference. By the time a girl is seventeen, she is more mature and is in general more capable of following her husband's commands as said in Ephesians 5:22. However, please take my suggestion as just that; I mean no harm to your godly, male character.
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
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Who are you to question my knowledge of the ways of women! If you judge a person acceptable at the worst of times and find her bearable and you make most of her prime years of breeding then you will have done best for procreating and the extending of your bloodline.
How many times have you married? Proverbs 21:19 speaks of women that act as you are now presenting yourself and your misguided opinions .
If you knew the Bible at all you would realize that only Genesis 17:17 speaks of May September marriages, that being Abraham and Sarah and it was an attempt at humor for the oldest remarrying.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 05:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Who are you to question my knowledge of the ways of women! If you judge a person acceptable at the worst of times and find her bearable and you make most of her prime years of breeding then you will have done best for procreating and the extending of your bloodline.
How many times have you married? Proverbs 21:19 speaks of women that act as you are now presenting yourself and your misguided opinions .
If you knew the Bible at all you would realize that only Genesis 17:17 speaks of May September marriages, that being Abraham and Sarah and it was an attempt at humor for the oldest remarrying.
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OK, Mr. Davis. There is no reason at all for you to lash out at my precious sister in Christ. There is no one on this earth more sincere about pleasing the Lord Jesus than she. At this young age, she is to be uplifted and supported, not rebuked. If you have something to say to her, it goes through me as her mentor and loving sister.
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 05:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Who are you to question my knowledge of the ways of women! If you judge a person acceptable at the worst of times and find her bearable and you make most of her prime years of breeding then you will have done best for procreating and the extending of your bloodline.
How many times have you married? Proverbs 21:19 speaks of women that act as you are now presenting yourself and your misguided opinions .
If you knew the Bible at all you would realize that only Genesis 17:17 speaks of May September marriages, that being Abraham and Sarah and it was an attempt at humor for the oldest remarrying.
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Dear Mr. Davis,
May I humbly ask for forgiveness. I misspoke out of turn and I did not mean to offend. I will make a point to beg the Lord for forgiveness and focus more on my studies of a woman's place in the Bible. Will you please forgive me?
Humbly yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
Dear Sister Naomi,
Thank you for supporting me through my error of judgment. I look forward to learning more at your gentle, kind, and wise words. Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Lovingly yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 06:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
OK, Mr. Davis. There is no reason at all for you to lash out at my precious sister in Christ. There is no one on this earth more sincere about pleasing the Lord Jesus than she. At this young age, she is to be uplifted and supported, not rebuked. If you have something to say to her, it goes through me as her mentor and loving sister.
NRL
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Mrs Lamb, are you trying to tell me I should let you vet any messages I wish to post on this site. I am above arguing with you in a public forum but if you have any suggestions on my rebuking a forum member I will be glad to discuss this with you via PM. Unlike some around here I do not air my dirty laundry in public.I would likew to further say that I don't feel you are dealing with this in a True Christian manner.
YIC Benedict
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 10:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Sister Joanna, I see from your introduction you seem to come from good breeding stock and but for 1 attempt you have a perfect record for producing man children, A JOB WELL DONE!
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Thank you, Brother Benedict. Your praise means a lot to me.
Little Hannah will be 6 next week. She is a biddable child, in excellent health and good humored. However, under our current absurd secular laws, which we are obliged to obey ( 1 Peter 2:13-15), she will not be permitted to marry for another 10 years (+ a week). Can you wait that long?
Quote:
I have to believe it is your lineage as your husband's track record isn't very good when you include his 1st wife.
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I am sure you are right, sir. However, his first wife was a feeble, anemic-looking creature whose own mother suspected her of closet vegetarianism. Might this account for the problem? My 3 stepdaughters are strapping girls, enthusiastic meat-eaters, educated to an acceptable womanly standard and well trained in wifely duties by me.
Faith, 15 (named in the faith that their next child would be a girl) is probably your best bet. At 5'3" and 120lbs, she is a little on the curvaceous side for her age, but most of it is on the hips. She is blonde and blue-eyed, like all her father's children.
Hope, 14 (named in hope that God would not punish them a third time) still needs correction from time to time - as do all women! But she needs more than most. In a year or so I expect she will have settled down.
Charity, 13 (presumably named as a joke, in reference to her birth weight - 1 Corinthians 13:13) - well, at this stage in her development I would not recommend her to a gentleman of your standing. Diet, exercise and constant prayer are slowly doing the trick, though.
I will certainly ask Matthew to contact you. All 3 girls come with a substantial inheritance due on their 18th birthday, or on earlier marriage. No, we do not approve either, but this comes from a business colleague of their maternal grandfather, who took a great interest in them as small children.
Yours in Faith,
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 01:54 PM
Sister Joanna,
On consideration I think waiting 10 years might be a bit too long for an engagement for me. I guess Your husband and I had better discuss your step daughters with your husband but I must ask one question of you. Your oldest step child is 15 and you have no potential suitors....why?
Oh one more thing can your girls field dress a deer, my arthritis isn't getting any better and I am having some difficulty gutting my kills once they start to chill.
YIC Benedict
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
I must ask one question of you. Your oldest step child is 15 and you have no potential suitors....why?
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I believe there have been several (though Godly Baptist young men are in short supply around here) but my husband did not approve. Either they were too young, their prospects still too uncertain, or their families too recently Saved to be entirely reliable. Also, Faith is particularly keen to move to Iowa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
Oh one more thing can your girls field dress a deer, my arthritis isn't getting any better and I am having some difficulty gutting my kills once they start to chill.
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I will not pretend, Brother. The simple answer is no, as this is generally men's work here. I had not considered the problems of the more mature husband. If Scotland does not secede from the UK next week, as we pray it will, then I will look into sending all 3 girls up there before the stag-hunting season closes next month.
Regards,
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-08-2014, 05:55 PM
Sorry, Sister Naomi, I unaccountably missed this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Just between Jesus and the rest of the forum, I have suspected that Sister Attila has been a bit "off" recently, although I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Some time ago there was speculation - quite juicy speculation - that Mr. Hun was not actually deceased. This was quickly placed under the rug and even though evidence was supposedly published indicating that Mr. Hun met his demise, I was not satisfied nor were many others.
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It is time to put this story to rest. I have it on excellent authority that Dorothy's husband was shot by his own side *** during the Hungarian uprising of 1956 ( *** though nobody seems sure which side he was on). She never acknowledged it, fabricated some strange story of her own and continued to "telephone" him daily for many years. She was in fact dialing the speaking clock, as we learned when someone picked up the extension.
Quote:
I would love to send Sister Attila a gift - I know just how much she values my friendship - and I hope you'll pass my best wishes to our dear, sweet, kind, precious OLD friend.
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Thank you for the kind thought. She is not allowed anything that could be used as a weapon. Would it be too much to ask you to have one of your excellent pies couriered over?
Kindest regards,
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Formally introducing myself -
09-09-2014, 03:55 AM
Joanna,
You are far more lucid than she ever was. I swear at times I wondered what drivel might proceed from her lips next - but, the same can be said of me at times. You may not know that I went through a rather tough time not so long ago when I required multiple exorcisms and daily baptisms. Were it not for the longsuffering patience of Dr. Laurence Niles, whose faithful prayer and counseling brought me back to Jesus and reality, I don't know where I'd be today.
Thanks for filling me in on the whole Mr. Hun thing. She hinted at times that she believed herself he was still around, but most of the time she was adamant that he was gone. At 94 or 99 or however old she is, at least one can say she was faithful in service to the Lord.
It will be a pleasure to FedEx a pie or two; I assume it goes to the "private" address? Which would she fancy? Cherry? Do give my love to her; we weren't terribly close but I always wanted to be. It was my fault, of course. I would feel terrible if she passed on thinking I despised her. I truly do not.
Your intelligence and devotion to Christ are refreshing. I hope we can be great friends, dear.
In Jesus,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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