[BrotherLarry]

Walk up to any homersekshul (wearing personal protective equipment, of course) and ask them the following question:

IS THERE A HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA?

My friend, I can almost guarantee the answer will be an adamant "NO!" I can also almost guarantee the person will give you a frown, a roll of the eyes, and then will either argue with you incessantly or walk away from you in fear. I'm here to tell you, however, that if you can stand to be around fairies and dykes for any length of time, you will learn much more than they ever intend to tell you. I conducted the following experiment to test my theory that there is, indeed, an agenda set forth by the gay community to steal your soul and remove Jesus from our schools and yes, even our churches.

METHOD OF STUDY: I visited two different "gay bars" in the NY City area. One is called Boots and Saddle and is located in the West Village, a veritable haven of sin and antichrists. The other is called The Eagle, and is located on 28th Street. When I went to Boots and Saddle (hereafter referred to as simply "Boots"), I wore a pair of tight-fitting jeans, riding low on my waist, a western shirt, and a cowboy hat. If I was a homer, I would have dated me. I looked good. I prayed to Jesus to cover me from head to toe with his blood and to send protective angels to block every orifice of my body. Knowing that God answers prayer, I felt very safe.

I visited the Eagle wearing leather pants, a low cut v-neck t-shirt, a leather vest, and motorcycle boots. I adapted a very low, masculine tone of voice, and learned to call everyone I spoke to "Bud." This was repulsive, because none of the men I encountered there would ever be a part of my list of friends. At Boots, I called everyone "Partner," and spoke with a slight drawl since I was pretending to have just moved to NY from Texas.

A local novelty shop crafted a 2" pin on which I had them place the words "I SUPPORT THE GAY AGENDA." This was to provide still another bit of cover in case anyone suspected me of being an outsider. I carried a copy of John 3:16 in my pocket at all times, believing that the sword of the Lord could help me defeat any of satan's minions.

I learned some of the jargon often used in homer establishments. Some of these words are too vile to repeat here, so let's just say it is good that I took the time to learn the language. There is a big difference between asking a straight man, "Hey, want to go shoot somewhere?" and asking a homer the same thing. I studied how these "men" walk, how they greet one another, how they interact with other men inside the bar and out (there is a slight difference), and made my first entry into the world of the gay homer queer: I visited Boots.

I ordered an iced tea (unsweetened) from the bartender and said, "Thanks, partner," when he delivered my drink. He immediately noticed my pin and said, "There is no gay agenda," and winked at me in a way that no man should ever wink at another man. "Ha, partner, I know that," I lied. (God forgive me, but it was a holy lie for Your Kingdom) The bartender then asked me if I had been there before. In my best drawl, I said, "Naw, I am new to these here parts." LADIES: This is a warning. Do NOT read the next paragraph of this story. MEN: You may want to grab something in which to vomit. I'll wait while you go get it.

Ready? Good. When I said I was new to these parts, the bartender looked directly at my groin and said, "I'd like to find out about THOSE parts." Yes, he said this in the presence of other men - and some of them looked at me and nodded approvingly. Inside, I was livid and ready to kick me some faggot behind, but I was on a mission for the Lord, so I chose to just pretend as if I was flattered.

LADIES: With your husband's permission you may once again begin reading.

I stayed at Boots about an hour. During that time, I was very careful not to try to gain information about the Homosexual Agenda. These things have to be done delicately so as not to arouse suspicion. During the hour, I was asked to dance four times, and almost accepted in the spirit of research, but my dancing is lame and awkward, something that would immediately have given my heterosexuality away. I couldn't risk that. I heard conversations about how brassy someone's sister's hair was after trying to color it herself. I heard jibber jabber about the best nail clippers to use and whether you should use them pre or post "tubbie time." (Gag) There were conversations about the rear-ends of some of the patrons, including mine. I purposely moved to a place where no one could view my posterior and instantly felt safer. LADIES WARNING AGAIN. I also saw men kissing one another - on the cheek, on the lips, and even a few of those fake air kisses. I turned my eyes each time, pretending to be shy rather than give the appearance of a man about to experience projectile vomiting. It was terrible, brothers and sisters. TERRIBLE. There was nothing in that place that held any inkling of Jesus Christ. Everywhere one looked there was evidence of the devil's power over the patrons that paid anywhere from $6 to $19 for drinks. My iced tea was $9. Deplorable extortion.

I want to say two things before I close this post:
1. One virile, masculine patron, his body taut and muscled, spoke of his dream that, "...one day, we will be able to marry in all 50 states; we will be able to manufacture children from harvested eggs and sperm, and we will raise those children to accept us completely." The man with whom he was cuddling (sorry, but it's true) was weeping like a queer and said, "Oh, Serge, I hope you are right. I want to manufacture a fetus with you." They cooed in each other's ear until I had to move to keep from punching them out in Jesus Name. MANUFACTURE A FETUS????? Could this be on the Homosexual Agenda? I intend to find out.
2. The next night, I made my first visit to the Eagle. I am afraid there will not be much that the ladies can read when I relate that story.

I promise you that the results of my research will be worth your time, so stay with me.

COME Lord Jesus!
BrotherLarry

[ElizabethTheWitch]

It's real and I have been given exclusive access to it, which I now share with all of you.

The Homosexual Agenda

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"

This should really help in proving that the "gay agenda" is real.

Elizabeth

[VictoryOS]

One of the most dangerous aspects of the queers is how organized they are.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

The Homersexural Agenda is a self-centered set of beliefs and objectives designed to promote and even mandate approval of homersexurality and homersexural ideology, along with the strategies used to implement such. The goals and means of this movement include indoctrinating students in public school, restricting the free speech of opposition, obtaining special treatment for homersexurals, distorting Biblical teaching and science, and interfering with freedom of association. Advocates of the homersexural agenda seek special rights for homersexurals that other people don't have, such as immunity from criticism. Such special rights will necessarily come at the expense of the rights of broader society. The homersexural agenda is the biggest threat to the right of free speech today.

[Ex-soccer player]

The jews are behind the gay agenda they want to destroy Christian family values to pave the way for satan.

BrotherLarry, please be aware that you take a huge risk by doing undercover work in gay bars. You might become infected with the aids. Deliberately infecting others with the aids is a twisted hobby among homers. Has somebody tried to cut you with a special ring? The aids virus is very small and mobile, it's invisible to the naked eye and this makes it difficult to prevent an infection. Be careful!

[BrotherLarry]

Originally Posted by Ex-soccer player

The jews are behind the gay agenda they want to destroy Christian family values to pave the way for satan.

BrotherLarry, please be aware that you take a huge risk by doing undercover work in gay bars. You might become infected with the aids. Deliberately infecting others with the aids is a twisted hobby among homers. Has somebody tried to cut you with a special ring? The aids virus is very small and mobile, it's invisible to the naked eye and this makes it difficult to prevent an infection. Be careful!

These are sobering words, Brother. I am grateful for your concern. Still, I believe I go forth with the Angel of God at my side. So, tonight I make my descent into the Eagle on 28th street for the 2nd time. They're having a boot black and a special on some flavor of iced tea called "Long Island," which is just a few miles from here so it must be a local variation of my usual Lipton. Glory to God, satan is defeated and the homo agenda will be proven once again.

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Everybody and his retarded nephew has an agenda these days. When will we finally get our own straight white Christian male agenda?

Our agenda will be simple: stop all the other agendas immediately!

[Des]

To understand the gay agenda, one must understand the gay mind.

You see, the homer has distanced himself from God. There is a saying about when one door closes, another door opens. This is especially true for the homer. Having slammed the door in God's face, the homer has opened his anal portal to Satan.

The homer feels spiritually bankrupt in light of God's absence, and longs to return to God's loving embrace, but doesn't know how. The homer is miserable, frightened, and alone. Yet misery loves company, so the homer seeks to convert others to homerism in order to fill the void left in his heart.

Thus does the homer become the willing tool of Satan, seeking out other troubled souls to lure into sodomy. By dragging others down to his level of depravity, the homer hopes to ease the ache in his own troubled soul. This does not work, of course, which spurs the homer on to rougher, angrier forms of anal intercourse.

As the homer cannot find his way back to God, he denies God, making him one of the worst kinds of people, a Gaytrheist. Now completely Satan's thrall, the Gaytheist seeks to destroy the very foundation of society by becoming a liberal Democrat. There is little hope for them at this point, as their thoughts are consumed with seducing or raping heterosexual boys & men, forcing all women to have abortions, musical productions, and promoting the moral decay of society.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD

Everybody and his retarded nephew has an agenda these days. When will we finally get our own straight white Christian male agenda?

Our agenda will be simple: stop all the other agendas immediately!

Dr. Mee: As a Ph.D., perhaps you could begin the research that will someday lead to the straight white male agenda! I think the Lord would bless you as He surely will bless BrotherLarry for taking the risks associated in exposing the homer agenda to us all.

Please Lord, grant Dr. Mee the knowledge to begin this holy undertaking! Our Father, lead BrotherLarry not into temptation, but deliver Him from the Eagle.
Amen and Amen!

In Our Savior,
NRL