(#1)
Old
Reuerend RauenMoone's Avatar
Reuerend RauenMoone Reuerend RauenMoone is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 38
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Reuerend RauenMoone is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default My Booke of Shadoews - 05-12-2008, 09:15 PM

Name:  BookeOfShadoews.jpg
Views: 129
Size:  11.0 KB

I pity the poor Baptists of this site, limiting yourselves to a single Holy Booke. I have a whole library full of Holy Bookes. You are looking at the spiritual world through a pinprick. I have a wide open panorama!

I must confess that I do have one Holy Booke that I trust more than all of the others, and that is my own personal Booke of Shadoews. Unlike other Holy Bookes where there is debate over who the author was and what her or his motivations might be, I KNOW who wrote this book and what my thinking and motivations were.

Here are some selections from it:

All spirituall pathes are equally valid.

Iesus Christ was the greatest witch euer to liue.

Broad is the way which leadeth vnto life, and eueryone be which goe in thereat.

For God so loued ye world, that he gaue his only begotten Sonne: that eueryone should not perish, but haue euerlasting life. He that beleeueth on him, is not condemned: Likewise hee that beleeueth not is also not condemned. Saluation doth not depend vpon beliefe.


Ecc 9:5 For the liuing know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither haue they any more a reward, for the memorie of them is forgotten.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Marshall's Avatar
Marshall Marshall is offline
Righteous and Patriotic
Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian Justice of the Peace Eats the Most Pork Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Sons of Liberty Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-12-2008, 09:26 PM

What sort of government school did you go to that was so incompetent that you can't even spell BOOK?

Spell book. Get it? Thats a witchcraft joke.
Like Wicca.

Mercy look at all those extra E's and whatnot.
It's like you just add letters to make you feel smarter like the Europeans do.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-12-2008, 10:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reuerend RauenMoone View Post
Here are some selections from it:

All spirituall pathes are equally valid.

Iesus Christ was the greatest witch euer to liue.

Broad is the way which leadeth vnto life, and eueryone be which goe in thereat.

For God so loued ye world, that he gaue his only begotten Sonne: that eueryone should not perish, but haue euerlasting life. He that beleeueth on him, is not condemned: Likewise hee that beleeueth not is also not condemned. Saluation doth not depend vpon beliefe.
Is it available in American?





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
VictoryOS's Avatar
VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Beauty True Christian Lady True Christian Homemaker True Heterosexual™ Best Pie Tin Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Eats the Most Pork Christian Love Victory Over Sex True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Roper Crossburn Trumpette Home Schooled Saved 5 Years 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class Trump of GOD Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus GLORY Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-12-2008, 10:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Is it available in American?
I can't make heads or tails of it either, Brother Bathfire. At first I thought maybe all the words were written in reverse so they would invoke demons when read aloud. But if you look closely, there are a few words you can make out. Maybe there's a linguist around who can translate for us?


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Reuerend RauenMoone's Avatar
Reuerend RauenMoone Reuerend RauenMoone is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 38
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Reuerend RauenMoone is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-12-2008, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Is it available in American?
I'll modernize the spellings of those verses if you like:

All spiritual paths are equally valid.

Jesus Christ was the greatest witch ever to live.

Broad is the way which leads to life, and everyone is on that path.

For God so loved ye world, that he gave his only begotten Son: that everyone should not perish, but have everlasting life. He that believes in him, is not condemned: Likewise he that believes not is also not condemned. Salvation does not depend upon belief.


Is that better?


Ecc 9:5 For the liuing know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither haue they any more a reward, for the memorie of them is forgotten.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-13-2008, 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reuerend RauenMoone View Post
Attachment 4834

I pity the poor Baptists of this site, limiting yourselves to a single Holy Booke. I have a whole library full of Holy Bookes. You are looking at the spiritual world through a pinprick. I have a wide open panorama!

I must confess that I do have one Holy Booke that I trust more than all of the others, and that is my own personal Booke of Shadoews. Unlike other Holy Bookes where there is debate over who the author was and what her or his motivations might be, I KNOW who wrote this book and what my thinking and motivations were.

Here are some selections from it:

All spirituall pathes are equally valid.

Iesus Christ was the greatest witch euer to liue.

Broad is the way which leadeth vnto life, and eueryone be which goe in thereat.

For God so loued ye world, that he gaue his only begotten Sonne: that eueryone should not perish, but haue euerlasting life. He that beleeueth on him, is not condemned: Likewise hee that beleeueth not is also not condemned. Saluation doth not depend vpon beliefe.
HOW DARE YOU besmirch God's favorite forum with this satanic bile!? The title of this section is "Teaching HIS Word" by which is meant GOD ALMIGHTY not your dark master. The Holy KJV1611 Bible is God's ONLY True Word, and you know that very well! And your blasphemous attempts at altering His Word shall not go unpunished!

Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

Matthew 4:4 Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.



By forcing us to read your demonic gibberish you have ensured yourself a place in the deepest pits of hell. I have sent you a bundle of infraction points, demon.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Mrs. Rogers's Avatar
Mrs. Rogers Mrs. Rogers is offline
compassion personified
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Silver Tither Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 5 Years True Christian Homemaker Mission to Australia Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Heterosexual™ One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Born again virgin Pro-Life True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-15-2008, 07:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reuerend RauenMoone View Post
I have a wide open panorama
I just bet you have, you ghastly little twerp! What a dreadful thing to announce on a Christian forum. You would do well to refrain from moping around the house in your mother's eye make-up, and get outside into the sunshine.


True Christians are Perfect!

Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-15-2008, 10:18 AM

Thank you for coming to my defense Mrs. Rogers!


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Mrs. Rogers's Avatar
Mrs. Rogers Mrs. Rogers is offline
compassion personified
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Silver Tither Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 5 Years True Christian Homemaker Mission to Australia Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Heterosexual™ One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Born again virgin Pro-Life True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Booke of Shadoews - 05-17-2008, 09:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Thank you for coming to my defense Mrs. Rogers!
The thought of this Mooning chap displaying his cavernous "panorama" was terrible enough, but that he has named it after you is an insult to all things Godly, Brother. I hope he now realises how inappropriate he is being, and seeks your forgiveness.


True Christians are Perfect!

Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
atrocious grammar, baby eating wiccans, emo: it's goth for gays, faggoth, goths will burn in hell, satanism

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved