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Default Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 08:14 PM
After learning about the depravities of so-called "Christian" Thomas Kinkade, who is now known to be guilty of fraud, public drunkenness, lewd behavior, and staring at Sigfield and Roy's crotches, Second Baptist of North Salem will be holding a Kinkade bonfire.

The bonfire will be held next Saturday night in the gravel overflow parking lot.

If you are unable to bring your Kinkades in person, please contact me via PM for the address to which you may send the offending paintings. Please feel free to fold or wad up mass-produced prints. For original pieces or limited edition prints, be sure to properly roll them and ship in an appropriate cardboard tube.

We will begin the event by burning the prints. Then we will have a weenie roast.

Then, we will torch a collection of Harry Potter and other evil books.

Time for dessert! We'll make s'mores over the bonfire. And toss in a few cases of Marshmallow Peeps.

Next will come the Harry Potter action figures and the Elmo dolls and toys.

Finally, we will bring out the high-value Kinkade originals, and destroy this filth!

With any luck, we will complete all of the burnings before the fire department arrives. If we are prevented from completing our task, we will sell any remaining items on eBay to raise funds for a new parsonage swimming pool.

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 08:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
...we will sell any remaining items on eBay to raise funds for a new parsonage swimming pool.
Old one spring a leak? Maybe you could upgrade:


Ooh, waterslide!

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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 08:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Old one spring a leak? Maybe you could upgrade:


Ooh, waterslide!
Actually, we're shooting for something understated but pleasant, like this:



Not as grand as the typical atheist pool, of course. How's that tarp-in-the-truck-bed thing working out for you?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 09:02 PM
I think you should claim to be the first Baptist to hold a Kinkade burning.

May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 09:17 PM
I know people have raised issues with pornographic imagery in Kinkade paintings before but what did he done this time?


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 09:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
I know people have raised issues with pornographic imagery in Kinkade paintings before but what did he done this time?
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
fraud, public drunkenness, lewd behavior, and staring at Sigfield and Roy's crotches

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-12-2012, 10:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
This.
Huh? For moment I though you were going to say he made his wife have an abortion or was a registered Democrat or something really bad.

Look, everyone has their youthful indiscretions, it's life,we repent, Jesus forgives us, end of story. Just because Kinkade raped that woman in Indiana is no reason to keep on harping on the man Reverend.


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-13-2012, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Huh? For moment I though you were going to say he made his wife have an abortion or was a registered Democrat or something really bad.

Look, everyone has their youthful indiscretions, it's life,we repent, Jesus forgives us, end of story. Just because Kinkade raped that woman in Indiana is no reason to keep on harping on the man Reverend.
But it was last year, Brother!

How many of your Kinkades will you be sending? Professor Bessemer has shipped his entire collection.

Just think what a boon it will be for the economy, as he goes out to replace over 200 paintings!

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-15-2012, 11:51 PM
Great news! Professor Gossamer's entire Kinkade collection arrived yesterday afternoon. Limited edition prints (signed), and even more than a dozen originals!

I'm so excited to add these to the collection of mass-market prints members of my congregation have provided.

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-16-2012, 04:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
But it was last year, Brother!

How many of your Kinkades will you be sending? Professor Bessemer has shipped his entire collection.

Just think what a boon it will be for the economy, as he goes out to replace over 200 paintings!
You do know Jesus called Thomas Kinkade home Reverend?

http://todayentertainment.today.msnb...t-when-he-died


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: Second Baptist to hold Kinkade artburning - 04-16-2012, 06:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
You do know Jesus called Thomas Kinkade home Reverend?

http://todayentertainment.today.msnb...t-when-he-died
According to that article, Brother, Kinkade was up drinking all night with his girlfriend, and was separated from his WIFE.

So he was a drunk and an adulterer right up to his last moments on Earth!

Ah, the burning will be fabulous.

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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