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Default Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 02-28-2013, 12:26 PM

Pat Robertson: Goodwill Sweaters Could Have Demons, No Harm In Praying Over Them (VIDEO)

There are people out there who forego the protection of The Holy Spirit. Some, like Catholics, do it out of malice; some, like atheists do it out of youthful bravado, and others like queers do it out of a need to follow every fashion.

Whatever reason, there are dangers out there that one of America's Greatest Christians, Pat Robertson, clearly demonstrates in this video. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ef=mostpopular Would you risk demon possession to save a dollar?

All clothing sold by Landover is guaranteed 100% demon-free: look on the extra few percent you pay as God's Insurance Policy.
Quote:
Usually when one buys clothes second-hand at shops like Goodwill, one just wonders whether it's been laundered properly. But Pat Robertson brought an entirely new worry to the fore on Monday's episode of his "700 Club" program. Responding to an email sent in by a viewer, the elderly televangelist said that, while not all clothes have demonic spirits attached to them, it never hurts to take some precautionary measures.

Robertson was answering a question from viewer Carrie, who wrote:

I buy a lot of clothes and other items at Goodwill and other secondhand shops. Recently my mom told me that I need to pray over the items, bind familiar spirits and bless the items before I bring them into the house. Is my mother correct? Can demons attach themselves to material items?

Robertson answered Carrie's question with a story about a girl who was troubled by a ring that had been prayed over by a witch. "She had to buy it and all hell broke loose because she finally recognized what it was," Robertson said, before claiming that demonic spirits can certainly attach themselves to objects.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 02-28-2013, 10:48 PM

This is really troubling. I'm too stylish to buy hand-me-downs, but do you think if some unsaved garbage brushed against new clothes on a rack in a store, that the demons may attach themselves to the garments that way?

This really makes me think twice about where I buy my undergarments.


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 02-28-2013, 10:57 PM

I thought I asked this, but it must have disappeared.

I've bought blankets for the animal beds at these stores. I was them in bleach in a washer used specifically for animal washing.

Does bleach kill demons?


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 01:06 AM

I have decided that we can pray over your used items for a small donation to the church making them guaranteed demon free or 300% money back.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 03:22 AM

Second hand sweat socks can harbor many more demons than your average article of used clothing...God only knows how many zillions of murdered, unborn babies are sopped up with crusty socks each year by self-pleasuring adolescent youngsters trying to hide the sin from their parents. If any of you ever find yourself in possession of a previously owned sweat sock, I would suggest praying over it to drive out the demon horde, then giving it a proper Christian burial.
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 04:01 AM

Are you seriously trying to tell me that there are places where people pay money for the used clothing of strangers?


Come on. You guys are yanking pastor's chain. It's nearly April Fools Day. That's it, right? No one really wears old nasty clothes with other peoples cooties on them.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 04:04 AM

This terrifies me. I mean I wouldn't be caught dead in 2nd hand clothes, but now I'm scared of ALL clothes!

From now on when I shop I'm going to rebuke the demons in the name of JESUS with my handy-dandy bull horn BEFORE I buy them and bring them home.

I would also imagine anything made in China or India also has demons.

ALWAYS BUY AMERICAN for demon free clothes!




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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 04:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
I have decided that we can pray over your used items for a small donation to the church making them guaranteed demon free or 300% money back.
Thank you Pastor, I said something to Seth about it, but he just started muttering and went downstairs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Second hand sweat socks can harbor many more demons than your average article of used clothing...God only knows how many zillions of murdered, unborn babies are sopped up with crusty socks each year by self-pleasuring adolescent youngsters trying to hide the sin from their parents. If any of you ever find yourself in possession of a previously owned sweat sock, I would suggest praying over it to drive out the demon horde, then giving it a proper Christian burial.
REALLY I ONLY BOUGHT BLANKETS AND THEY WERE ONLY FOR THE DOGS!

I should have stuck with shavings, but I thought the blankets would work out better in the long run


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 04:45 AM

I am so glad that brand name corporations screen their new products for witchcraft prior to release. Otherwise it wouldn't be safe to buy clothes anywhere!


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-01-2013, 07:00 AM

That might explain why Naomi birthed that retard. Like some sort of expanding princess, she insisted that she needed maternity clothes when she got all huge and I sure as heck wasn't going to waste my hard earned money on brand new ones. I just grabbed a random wad of fat dresses down at the Des Moines Salvation Army store.

Crap! Do you all think my hairy little baby is possessed by clothes demons?!?

That's all I need right now, the expense of a ding-danged exorcism!




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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 05:02 AM

Oh my, ROTFL!!! This thread has absolutely made my day. BTW, I love thrift stores.
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 05:15 AM

You can always get the demons out, but I bet you could NEVER get the smell of a sweaty buck negro out of clothing. Good grief, those guys must roll around in their own pee.



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Zech


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 05:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by teddybear View Post
Oh my, ROTFL!!! This thread has absolutely made my day. BTW, I love thrift stores.
And you wonder why God won't heal you of your blindness

Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.

As for my blankets, I've re-bleached them. I've prayed and worried about this and bleach kills everything, it's got to at least chase demons out of dog blankets

I mean they're dogs, it's not like I was bringing them into the house or anything.


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
And you wonder why God won't heal you of your blindness

Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.

As for my blankets, I've re-bleached them. I've prayed and worried about this and bleach kills everything, it's got to at least chase demons out of dog blankets

I mean they're dogs, it's not like I was bringing them into the house or anything.
How did he even READ this thread? LBC would never print anything in Braille, it's the Devil's language. He must have demons from his thrift store suit he is wearing.




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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 05:59 PM

Wait a minute! This demon possessed clothing at Second Hand Stores could be another LBC business adventure in the name of Jesus!

In the same manner as Peter Popoff, as if we can’t read through this name in what it implies, sells his Miracle Spring Water to make one gain money from thin air, LBC could sell Demon Rinse to be used subsequent to purchasing all used clothing.

Demon Rinse, trade mark pending, could contain nitric acid, bleach, and some nice godly smelling agent as well. Subsequent to using Demon Rinse, not only will your 2nd hand clothing be demon free, but it will become white because of the bleach, but, what is more godly than the color white?

What Landover Pastor do I contact for this godly inspired and money making scheme? LBC must move quickly before Pat Robertson gets wind of this godly concept.
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-02-2013, 06:00 PM

I read the thread using a screen reader. Maybe you can quit trolling long enough to look it up.
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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-03-2013, 02:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother D. Thomas View Post
Wait a minute! This demon possessed clothing at Second Hand Stores could be another LBC business adventure in the name of Jesus!

In the same manner as Peter Popoff, as if we can’t read through this name in what it implies, sells his Miracle Spring Water to make one gain money from thin air, LBC could sell Demon Rinse to be used subsequent to purchasing all used clothing.

Demon Rinse, trade mark pending, could contain nitric acid, bleach, and some nice godly smelling agent as well. Subsequent to using Demon Rinse, not only will your 2nd hand clothing be demon free, but it will become white because of the bleach, but, what is more godly than the color white?

What Landover Pastor do I contact for this godly inspired and money making scheme? LBC must move quickly before Pat Robertson gets wind of this godly concept.
SO BLEACH DOES KILL DEMONS!!

Thank you Brother! You don't know how much of a weight that has lifted off of me. I was so afraid I had demon infested kennels.


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Default Re: Goodwill Sweaters Filled with Demons: Pat Robertson - 03-03-2013, 04:51 AM

I think this will do the trick. You know when you are cleaning up after a soccer game you get a good mix of filth from efeminate homosexual boys, manly bull dyke girls, and general teen--ahem, descretions--in all their clothing. If shout is good enough to remove those stains...and the stink of failure from playing a devilish game that allows for ties, then it should be good enough to get the daemons out too.

Last edited by Paragon of virtue; 04-08-2013 at 07:09 AM.
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