Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page Hello everyone!
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
RandomChristian RandomChristian is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: America
RandomChristian is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Hello everyone! - 07-14-2017, 04:22 PM

Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.



P.S. I like that Trump icon
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness 

 
Posts: 20,366
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello everyone! - 07-14-2017, 04:49 PM

Hello Random Friend! I hope I can call you friend! I'd like to call you Brother or Sister, but I don't know if you are truly a member of the Body of Christ™. It sounds like you're interested in become one! That's fantastic! Did you know the angels rejoice greater than any earthly celebration you have ever heard of each time a sinner repents and accepts Christ (Luke 15:10)!

So all you have to do is acknowledge your station in creation. That is to say, when you recognize your inherent offense to the Lord thy God for having been born a sinner and allowing your sin nature to thrive thus far (Ephesians 2:3), you will naturally be horrified. You will wonder why the Lord thy God hasn't smited you already, either in your sleep (which would be more merciful than you deserve), or through some horrendously painful and torturous event. You will naturally feel overwhelming gratitude that He hasn't already booted you down to the pits of Hell, and will want to give your soul to Him, believe everything He says in His autobiography, and accept Him as your Lord and Master (Romans 10:9)!

Are you ready to pray the Sinner's Prayer, dear?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Phil Ander's Avatar
Phil Ander Phil Ander is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Porn Resistant Persecuted Ex-Masturbator Eats the Most Pork Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 210
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Phil Ander is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Hello everyone! - 07-14-2017, 05:20 PM

Hello there,


Church attendance does not guarantee Salvation. Accepting Jesus Christ into your heart and reading, believing and obeying the KJV Bible are the prerequisites.


A gentle reminder that your first steps on this Godly forum is to tell us which Church you attend, your favorite Bible Verse, and your path to Belief.


Phil


58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel 

 
Posts: 1,019
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Hello everyone! - 07-14-2017, 06:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomChristian View Post
Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.



P.S. I like that Trump icon

Brother or Sister Random:


Even I was labeled as unsaved trash when I first visited this forum; the Church has done incredibly thorough investigations and determined that my experience with the Lord is genuine. Only then was I able to shed the moniker of being trash.


My recommendations to you:


Post a proper introduction - including whether you are male or the weaker s-e-x. Begin to walk with the Lord and repent as Sister Mary has told you. The Lord will begin to move in your life and you'll be on your way to learning what Christianity truly is! It is a way of life like none other. How I rejoice in my salvation - and you will, too.


With prayers,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

ARE YOU A "GAY"? :
I am a young, handsome, well-built True Christian™ male, with intelligence, ambition, and the blood of Jesus coursing through my virile body.
The LORD has blessed me with the ability to rid you of your gayness as we fall to our knees together. Let me touch you with the deep love of our Savior. PM me! GLORY TO GOD!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
GreekFreedom GreekFreedom is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 15
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Somewhere in the Godless, heathen continent of Africa.
GreekFreedom has had a couple of people click the rep button.GreekFreedom has had a couple of people click the rep button.GreekFreedom has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Jesus' eternal love Re: Hello everyone! - 07-15-2017, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomChristian View Post
Hello! I'm new and very confused and don't know what I should be doing in this forum, and why I am "Unsaved Trash" even though I went to church for about 12 years. Please tell me what I should do in this forum and become a Christian.

P.S. I like that Trump icon

Hello, RandomChristian. Thank you first for appreciating the Divinely Appointed President Donald Trump of the United States of America. Unfortunately, everyone has to be labeled as unsaved trash when they first enter the One True Church™ of God. Atheists are always infiltrating this forum and trying to troll us so you can see why the Pastors of Landover Baptist had to take precautions. Until the Holy Spirit guides them into discerning your true intentions, I'm afraid you will be labeled unsaved trash (which is better than you deserve anyway, as Sister Mary Etheldreda has graciously pointed out).


As Brother Phil has said, why don't you tell us what Church you attend, your favorite Bible Verse and how you came to find Jesus?
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is online now
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 26,645
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Prayer Re: Hello everyone! - 07-15-2017, 09:24 PM

Welcome friend! Everyone is unsaved until they have proven to God Almighty they are worthy of Him taking a fleeting moment in His busy schedule to notice their existence.
Tell me, what have you done for God and not what you expect God to do for you, there is no need to be selfish. Have you given most of your income to Him to prove you are willing to suffer as He did on the Cross so long ago? Do you help your Pastor out by painting his house, washing his car, tending to his young sons?
Give until you bleed from your ankles and wrists as Jesus did on the cross and pray that God cares.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years 

 
Posts: 5,759
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello everyone! - 07-15-2017, 11:17 PM

My friends here make good points. I can only add that in Christianity we are all born sinners. We take that literally here at Landover Baptist and require that you find Jesus or forever be "unsaved trash."


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2016 all rights reserved