Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more! |
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Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-10-2014, 07:37 PM
Dear Parents of LBC,
As you know, it is so hard to find good clean movies for our Christian children to watch. It is not fair that our children have to suffer because Hollywood refuses to make decent movies.
So my husband (Baptist Bob), being the wonderful Christian man that he is, has decided to start a small film company to give our children some good quality movies.
So far, we only have titles and a sentence or two of description for three movies and one documentary. We will begin on the scripts next month.
If any of you can think of more great movie titles and descriptions for us, it would be greatly appreciated.
Here is what we have so far:
Backdoor Creampies - Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parent's kitchen - selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn't all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.
Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.
Mattress Slaves - A shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues.)
Wet Squirters - A heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-10-2014, 08:26 PM
Such a good idea, dear. Your husband is to be congratulated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaptistBethany
So far, we only have titles and a sentence or two of description for three movies and one documentary. We will begin on the scripts next month.
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Now this is definitely the way to do it. We have all seen what happens when people try the usual Hollywood (we call it UnHolywood in this house) method of starting with a complete story.
I will set the grandchildren to work on this tomorrow - it is 9.20 in the evening here now, and they have all been in bed for some hours. But I do have one idea.
Quote:
Big Black Threesome - Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.
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Could there be a sequel, or even a prequel, featuring a couple of she-bears? Perhaps that could somehow be combined with the fate (sad, though not in this case tragic, being well-deserved) of the uppity child Cindy and her doomed venture into the men's world of business? And, of course, the collateral damage to her customers.
Good luck with this!
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-11-2014, 05:43 PM
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - teaches children to not trespass on other peoples' private property, and shows proper use of Stand Your Ground law. All family friendly since it does not contain any sex, nudity or profanities.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-11-2014, 07:07 PM
Brokeback Mountain is my recommendation. The kids will love it and not grow up to be homophobes. Hope this helps.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-11-2014, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lesdong chingchong
Brokeback Mountain is my recommendation. The kids will love it and not grow up to be homophobes. Hope this helps.
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Ahh the movie God hated so much he smote Keith Ledger dead
Great pick chingchong.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 02:39 PM
I heard that "2 girls 1 cup" is a great movie. It shows the power of sharing your cup of water, tea, whatever with your best friend.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by uzbekistan200
I heard that "2 girls 1 cup" is a great movie. It shows the power of sharing your cup of water, tea, whatever with your best friend.
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From what I've heard, this movie is utter filth that should not be watched by any True Christian™ or child.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 03:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B.
From what I've heard, this movie is utter filth that should not be watched by any True Christian™ or child.
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That matches what I've heard far better than teaching to share. Apparently the girls eat each others' faeces out of a cup... Something I never want to watch. Ever.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 03:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Viking
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - teaches children to not trespass on other peoples' private property, and shows proper use of Stand Your Ground law. All family friendly since it does not contain any sex, nudity or profanities.
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However there is that scene when "grandpa" sucks on the fingers of the young, tresspassing, sluttily-dressed lascivious harlot, while she screams and moans.
I felt a bit uncomfortable watching this part of the film.
And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth. Genesis 28:14
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 03:46 PM
I don't know any of the movies you all are talking about, but they sound awful.
I was talking about good clean movies for children.
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaptistBethany
I don't know any of the movies you all are talking about, but they sound awful.
I was talking about good clean movies for children.
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I don't think I know many: I never watched many movies.
How about one for when the kids are older, about a young boy (or girl) who grew up in an athiest household, but found Jesus, and ended up going to heaven. A tad cliche perhaps, but it'll get the message across.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
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It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 04:12 PM
I would recommend Freddy vs. Jason.
In a lot of ways Freddy is like Jesus: he comes back from the dead, terrorizes those who murdered him with righteous indignation and shows people signs in they dreams.
Freddy Krueger was always someone I looked up to and admired growing up.
Plus he terrorized young sluts who fornicated outside of marriage.
In a lot of ways Freddy Kruegger is the Jesus Christ of horror movies.
And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth. Genesis 28:14
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 06:34 PM
Dolemite. It shows what happens to uppity negros!
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-26-2014, 06:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bishop polisher
Dolemite. It shows what happens to uppity negros!
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I used to watch that in the 70s.
Those were the days man.
And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth. Genesis 28:14
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
06-27-2014, 03:01 AM
I'm really looking forward to Left Behind. It stars Nicholas Cage, so you know it's going to be good.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
07-07-2014, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B.
From what I've heard, this movie is utter filth that should not be watched by any True Christian™ or child.
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Oh no...in that case, should I torture the one who told me that my family should watch it?
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
07-07-2014, 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by uzbekistan200
Oh no...in that case, should I torture the one who told me that my family should watch it?
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Where does the Bible tell you to do that?
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
07-27-2014, 04:51 PM
I believe the Saw movies may also be clean.
From what I've heard the man takes heathens and helps them repent their sins.
I have also heard that there is some profanity, so I recommend watching the television version that censors profanity.
But stay away from the third one, that one shows nudity. However, the third one shows the bad of those who rebel against God through symbolism. The man who helps repent sins is rebelled against and he shows them his wrath.
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
07-27-2014, 11:24 PM
The Birth of a Nation which shows the struggle of heroic Godly men as they attempt to thwart America's slide into decadence and governmental corruption.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Re: Appropriate Movies for the Christian Child -
07-28-2014, 02:11 AM
I would recommend Passion of The Christ. An inspired movie that puts joos in their place and shows the very real and very non-sexual way our Lord was crucified to save you from your sins. It was directed by that quasi-catholyck Mel Gibson but the movie is pretty good. And most importantly family friendly. I'm going to the next Seattle school board meeting and insist they show it in all the Kindergarten classes this fall!!
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