[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by HisNoodleyAppendage

Yes brother Roger and it is very important that we institute Creationism into the schools, no matter what name we give to the type of Creationism it might be. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is just as legitimate a Science as Creationism and should be taught alongside and hand and hand with Biblical Young Earth Creationism. Ramen and Ramen.

Dear demon;

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Dear demon;

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

Pastor, how could I ever flame His favorite church, Landover Baptist? Its an honor to be here and I do not wish to be thrown into the firey pits of hell for all eternity, so I choose Jesus to be my savior and be a True Christian forever ramen.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by HisNoodleyAppendage

Pastor, how could I ever flame His favorite church, Landover Baptist? Its an honor to be here and I do not wish to be thrown into the firey pits of hell for all eternity, so I choose Jesus to be my savior and be a True Christian forever ramen.

God will not be mocked, you spaghetti slurping pervert!

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

[HisNoodleyAppendage]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

God will not be mocked, you spaghetti slurping pervert!

But Pastor, my faith in Jesus is 100% as pure as any Pastafarian Christian you'll meet.

1 Timothy 1:1-10 "1Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Saviour, and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope; 2Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.
3As I besought thee to abide still at Ephesus, when I went into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no other doctrine, 4Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do. 5Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: 6From which some having swerved have turned aside unto vain jangling; 7Desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor whereof they affirm.
8But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully; 9Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, 10For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;"

And sound doctrine of believing in He alone: Mark 16:16 "
He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned." in John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." I can assure you that I am truly a Pastafarian Christian.

[True Daughter of God]

Originally Posted by HisNoodleyAppendage

Pastor, how could I ever flame His favorite church, Landover Baptist? Its an honor to be here and I do not wish to be thrown into the firey pits of hell for all eternity, so I choose Jesus to be my savior and be a True Christian forever ramen.

I have this feeling that you have been touched by one too many "noodley appendages"

Always Yours In Christ

[Jedediah]

And if he persists in this flagrant mockery of Christ's temporary sacrifice, he will be touched by Satan's red-hot barbed tallywhacker as it pounds his rectum for all eternity, barbecuing him from the inside out and filling his colon with boiling maggot-infested ejaculate.

I'm not so sure we should be spending our time on this one. It seems pretty clear he has been preordained to eternal torments.

II Thessalonians 2:11-12
And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:
That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

Jude 1:4
For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.

We should instead invest our efforts in those who would seek His face (Psalm 105:4).

[Adam Fag]

Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist

he burns the vast majority of people on the planet in endless torment when they die

Up til now I'd thought that "gods" were just made up. But now they don't need to be. Last week I stayed with a new age art whizz and she told me:

Nibiru (LINK)

There is much controversy over the dating of the Biblical Flood, but if we look at archaeological data for 10,983 BC and 4,432 BC, we see evidence of major flooding and catastrophic climate change. There is also evidence of a flood around 2,200 BC, leading bible scholars to conclude this was the Biblical Flood. But I suggest this flood was much more localized than the great flood, due to the passage of Nibiru at a reasonably safe distance.

Sooooo... Just a coincidence that these other cultures have a 2012 target?

* Hopi Predict a 25yr period of purification followed by End of Fourth World and beginning of the Fifth.
* Mayans Call it the 'end days' or the end of time as we know it.
* Maoris Say that as the veils dissolve there will be a merging of the physical & spiritual worlds.
* Zulu Believe that the whole world will be turned upside down.
* Hindus Kali Yuga (end time of man). The Coming of Kalki & critical mass of Enlightened Ones.
* Incas Call it the 'Age of Meeting Ourselves Again'.
* Aztec Call this the Time of the Sixth Sun. A time of transformation. Creation of new race.
* Dogon Say that the spaceship of the visitors, the Nommo, will return in the form of a blue star
* Pueblo Acknowledge it'll be the emergence into the Fifth World
* Cherokee Their ancient calendar ends exactly at 2012 as does the Mayan calendar.
* Tibetan Kalachakra teachings are prophesies left by Buddha predicting Coming of the Golden Age.
* Egypt According to the Great Pyramid (stone calendar), present time cycle ends in year 2012 AD

Yeah, I'm just a tad concerned. I hope this is not the case and that I'm just completely nuts, but data + data + data = science. I never thought I'd be relaying any sort of Doomsday scenario. And chance's are, these very same Gods will help us out a bit. I just hope we as a species are seen as worthy of such action.

Ok Ok! Some of you might be thinking; "that was just too easy...

Well I did not think that, Red. I thought "what a crank!" but we can see from that link that we don't need a "god" (a "false" god if you like) to have the whole world bombed or burned or blitzed with plague. This other planet could do just that and those fools who mock God are crazed to say facts like these are not facts at all. But they do.


oo, oo, she's just 'phoned must dash

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by HisNoodleyAppendage

Pastor, how could I ever flame His favorite church, Landover Baptist? Its an honor to be here and I do not wish to be thrown into the firey pits of hell for all eternity, so I choose Jesus to be my savior and be a True Christian forever ramen.

Do you think Landover was set up so a bunch of clowns can make a few jokes about religion??? Take a look at the post counts here, they are in the thousands, does that sound like a few jokes to you Mr Parrot Perch?

[ChildrenOfKorn]

Originally Posted by Jedediah

Listen up, atheists.

It's no secret that you are all a bunch of fools. Psalm 14:1 makes that clear. However, I am sick of tired of you all trying to deny the existence of God, and I've just got to get this off my chest.

Your futile attempts at disproving God's existence are equivalent to trying to disprove the existence of air. Sure, you can't see it. But the whole time you are spewing your ignorance, you are sucking it in and breathing it out. You would be rightly mocked for using your breath to deny the existence of air just because you can't see it.

Similarly, when you deny God, you suppress your knowledge of Him. Without Him, you would not even be able to make your fallacious and ignorant arguments. The first chapter of the Book of Romans addresses this.

Romans 1:18-19
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

Did you catch that, or are you too mentally handicapped to understand this simple Bible Fact? This states that knowledge of God is manifest within you. You know that God exists. But because your black, twisted hearts are so filled with rebellion against Him, you suppress this knowledge. You are suppressing the Truth.

In order to suppress the Truth, you have to have the Truth. Let's read further...

Romans 1:20-21
For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

Did you catch that, you God-denying imbeciles? Undeniable evidence of God is all around you, so your refusal to acknowledge Him, much less glorify Him, is without excuse. This is why all unbelievers will be resurrected from the dead only to be cast into the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8). You come up with all sorts of vain excuses as to why you shouldn't have to worship your Creator, and your twisted little hearts only grow darker and darker as you persist in your suppression of the Truth all around you.

Romans 1:22-23
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

You atheists think you are so smart, don't you? Guess again. Without variation, you are all stupid and ridiculous people, so prideful and rebellious that you live your lives in denial of the Truth all around you.

I hope this sinks in. In Jesus Christ's name, I rebuke you.

Hello. May i start out by asking something? Why do you ban all people who have an different opinion? Isnt that kinda pathetic, that you cant make an arguement , and instead you just ban people?


First of all isnt it illegal to sell girls, like ive seen you do on other pages in here?

Lets start a place: You claim that homosexual, is something that people say they are and infact noone is born gay? How come it has then been proven, that homosexuality is a brain mistake, that causes you to fall for men instead of women?

How can you prove god? I can also write a book, and use statements from it but that doesnt make it more real? Everytime you wanna prove his excistence, you always link something from the bible, so if i create a book and link something from that book, does it then make it automaticly true?


And why do you hate black people? I doubt they chose to be black themself?

Such ignorant people, like on here is hard to find. Come argue against me. You wont stand a chance. And you CAN ban me.. but im afraid this will happen to your website then:

We are Anonymous
We are legion
We do not forgive
We do not forget

You can google if in doubt. And read more.

Looking forward to a discussion my fellow friends

[VictoryOS]

We're not here for arguments. We're here to Praise the Lord. Get right or get out.

[ChildrenOfKorn]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

We're not here for arguments. We're here to Praise the Lord. Get right or get out.

I would say the same Since you have NO arguments

[ChildrenOfKorn]

Ohh, and did you hear that a man wants to teach the theory of the Flyingspaghettimonster? It was declined, so he went into court. EVERY evidence that religion had for proof... He could make the same about flying spaghettimonster.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by ChildrenOfKorn

Hello. May i start out by asking something? Why do you ban all people who have an different opinion? Isnt that kinda pathetic, that you cant make an arguement , and instead you just ban people?


First of all isnt it illegal to sell girls, like ive seen you do on other pages in here?

Lets start a place: You claim that homosexual, is something that people say they are and infact noone is born gay? How come it has then been proven, that homosexuality is a brain mistake, that causes you to fall for men instead of women?

How can you prove god? I can also write a book, and use statements from it but that doesnt make it more real? Everytime you wanna prove his excistence, you always link something from the bible, so if i create a book and link something from that book, does it then make it automaticly true?


And why do you hate black people? I doubt they chose to be black themself?

Such ignorant people, like on here is hard to find. Come argue against me. You wont stand a chance. And you CAN ban me.. but im afraid this will happen to your website then:

We are Anonymous
We are legion
We do not forgive
We do not forget

You can google if in doubt. And read more.

Looking forward to a discussion my fellow friends

I find it hard to read your words with the bad spelling and poor grammar, but I will try

Nobody here has sold girls into slavery. You are a liar.

It has not been proven that homosexuality is a brain mistake. You are telling lies.

You can write any book you please but it will be filled with bad spelling, poor punctuation and grammar. When God writes a book it has none of that. You are an idiot.

I don't hate black people. You are prejudicing you views about us. Shame on you!

Learn to write better American and you may make more sense.

Jesus is watching you!
Posted via Mobile Device

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by ChildrenOfKorn

Lets start a place: You claim that homosexual, is something that people say they are and infact noone is born gay? How come it has then been proven, that homosexuality is a brain mistake, that causes you to fall for men instead of women?

Correct. It is a mistake in abandoning morality when deciding to be a queer. This happens when a man does not have the love of Jesus Christ within him, and instead chooses to worship the anus of strangers rather than his Creator. It is indeed a mistake, and the result of a sinful soul.

In Christ

[ChildrenOfKorn]

Originally Posted by Larni69

I find it hard to read your words with the bad spelling and poor grammar, but I will try

Nobody here has sold girls into slavery. You are a liar.

It has not been proven that homosexuality is a brain mistake. You are telling lies.

You can write any book you please but it will be filled with bad spelling, poor punctuation and grammar. When God writes a book it has none of that. You are an idiot.

I don't hate black people. You are prejudicing you views about us. Shame on you!

Learn to write better American and you may make more sense.

Jesus is watching you!
Posted via Mobile Device

First of all im not american Go ahead and learn Danish/Spanish/German and Norweigan Then we can talk, okay?

I doubt i mentioned ANYTHING about slavery. Still i have seen threads with girls being solds to other familys.

I saw a Green Day thread, where a guy was absoluetly hated for voting on Barack Obama.. Why so? Because hes black?

And it has been proven that homosexuality is a fault in the brain.

And you didnt come with any arguments? You only told me that i spelled bad etc.. But i guess that proves god excistence.. That i spell bad

[ChildrenOfKorn]

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter

Correct. It is a mistake in abandoning morality when deciding to be a queer. This happens when a man does not have the love of Jesus Christ within him, and instead chooses to worship the anus of strangers rather than his Creator. It is indeed a mistake, and the result of a sinful soul.

In Christ

"Worship the anus of a stranger" A little humor Thats always good.

No it is a FAULT in the brain that makes you have feelings for men instead of women. It has nothing to do with that Jibba-Jabba your writing.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

First of all isnt it illegal to sell girls, like ive seen you do on other pages in here?

Well I guess this proves you wrong, then.

You have not made any arguements: you have made assertions.

Even my ten year old Nepgew knows the difference between an arguements and an assertion.

All the best.
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[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by ChildrenOfKorn

...No it is a FAULT in the brain that makes you have feelings for men instead of women...

ChildrenofKorn has been learning from Faux News: if you have no proof of something, just repeat it over and over and over, and people will start believing it's true.

If you would like to keep claiming that homosexuality has been "proven to be a fault in the brain", you will cite your peer-reviewed scholarly source in your next post.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by ChildrenOfKorn

"Worship the anus of a stranger" A little humor Thats always good.

No it is a FAULT in the brain that makes you have feelings for men instead of women. It has nothing to do with that Jibba-Jabba your writing.

I know cupcake, I know. That's what you want to think in rationalizing your wicked and filthy decision to pack mud and make Jesus weep. The queer will blame anyone but himself and his poor decisions in a futile attempt to believe he is a normal person.

You know what God thinks of you?

Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

In Christ

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Good God, Brother Porter!

I had no idea I was talking to a homer

He better change his ways pronto for the reasons you have already stated.

I feel quite sick.
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