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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 06:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by timmothy View Post
while you people have some points their is one thing i need to announce. God created man in his own image. are you telling me that for thousands of generations the only way to reproduce is a sinful act? if this is so then I'm sure that GOD could have found another way. 9_9 stupid assholes. If woman didn't feel pleasure then she wouldn't do what it is they do. And to be honest I'm currently launching a giant virus to destroy this site and free all the members from the GOD DAMN PASTOR EZEKIEL! I see I have pissed you off now,go a head,ban me I'll just keep returning to slowly kill you in you're sleep. God bless man like me who will stand against abusive jerks like you and you can keep your false bible shit too
Son, I can tell you from experience that a woman is physiological capable of the reproductive act without sinning.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 06:32 AM

Dear Friend,

Quote:
Originally Posted by timmothy View Post
God bless man like me...
He'd have to, because everyone else thinks you're a bit of a bell-end.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 11:51 AM

If I give an orgasm to woman when attempting to make a child am I doing devils work? Both of us really try not to take pleasure in this act, but she says that on some occasions it overwhelms her. I don't want to lose Gods love and burn in hell just because SHE can't behave properly.

Please help me.
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Cool Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 12:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadman View Post
If I give an orgasm to woman when attempting to make a child am I doing devils work? Both of us really try not to take pleasure in this act, but she says that on some occasions it overwhelms her. I don't want to lose Gods love and burn in hell just because SHE can't behave properly.

Please help me.
Yes, but it is her problem, not yours. Be less concerned with 'womens issues' and get right with Jesus.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 12:28 PM

Well I love my wife, not as much as Jesus, but I love her. And I was thought by my parents, The Good Book and the Church that love is the most important thing in life. How can I just dismiss her problems as irrelevant when I don't think Jesus would want me to. He would like me to help her, as all Christians should help each other!!!
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-29-2012, 03:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadman View Post
Well I love my wife, not as much as Jesus, but I love her. And I was thought by my parents, The Good Book and the Church that love is the most important thing in life. How can I just dismiss her problems as irrelevant when I don't think Jesus would want me to. He would like me to help her, as all Christians should help each other!!!
Orgasms have nothing to do with loving Jesus. And lusting for them leads straight to eternal damnation.

If your wife needs to become pregnant, have sex. But keep it as short as possible.


All details are here: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-30-2012, 11:13 PM

If a Woman does not Orgasm it is PHYSICALLY Impossible to Gestate a Baby.

5th Grade Sex Ed Folks.


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-30-2012, 11:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by timmothy View Post
while you people have some points their is one thing i need to announce. God created man in his own image. are you telling me that for thousands of generations the only way to reproduce is a sinful act? if this is so then I'm sure that GOD could have found another way. 9_9 stupid assholes. If woman didn't feel pleasure then she wouldn't do what it is they do. And to be honest I'm currently launching a giant virus to destroy this site and free all the members from the GOD DAMN PASTOR EZEKIEL! I see I have pissed you off now,go a head,ban me I'll just keep returning to slowly kill you in you're sleep. God bless man like me who will stand against abusive jerks like you and you can keep your false bible shit too
Oh, Mr. Mothy! You script kiddies and your "giant viruses!"

But seriously, interstate transmission of a terrorist threat is a felony. Your IP address and email address have been forwarded to the Department of Homeland Security.

Probably best to explain to your Mommy right now what you did, before the police track you down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadman View Post
Well I love my wife, not as much as Jesus, but I love her. And I was thought by my parents, The Good Book and the Church that love is the most important thing in life. How can I just dismiss her problems as irrelevant when I don't think Jesus would want me to. He would like me to help her, as all Christians should help each other!!!
Friend, the best thing you can do is finish your husbandly duty as quickly as possible. Don't drag your feet! And if she becomes too excited, tell her to think about Jesus on the cross.

Don't tell her to think about baseball or dead puppies. Too many women had to be cast out of my congregation because they developed very disturbing fetishes when we gave husbands that advice.

Poor Spot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamthefool View Post
If a Woman does not Orgasm it is PHYSICALLY Impossible to Gestate a Baby.

5th Grade Sex Ed Folks.
Really? Show us any health class or biology textbook reference which indicates that a woman cannot conceive if she does not have an orgasm.

Seriously. Go find one.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-31-2012, 01:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamthefool View Post
If a Woman does not Orgasm it is PHYSICALLY Impossible to Gestate a Baby.

5th Grade Sex Ed Folks.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is why Abstinence Only Sex Education is the ONLY appropriate education for unmarried children.

Son, I do hope you don't count on this to keep your girlfriend from getting pregnant.

For the record, I have many children and yet have managed to avoid sinning each time save one.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Exclamation Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-01-2012, 03:39 PM

i gotta say firstly, I am not Satan, nor am I affiliated with him in any way (I do however admire his work) and yet I give women *** fantasy deleted *** ... So I guess straight away that kinda negates the whole topic here.

Do you really not think its rude for you to get off and leave your *** fantasy deleted ***? All that will do is drive those *** fantasy deleted ***. And then they will see the true meaning of GOD.
If, in your opinion it is actually Satan giving your *** fantasy deleted *** then i need to ask, who is it that is helping you achieve *** fantasy deleted ***? I get that if you're under 12 its probably your priest, but what about you post pubescent people? Do you blame that *** fantasy deleted *** on our lord and savior? Do you *** fantasy deleted *** in the name of the lord? Is it some sort of offering? Is this in fact proof that *** fantasy deleted ***?

Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 11-01-2012 at 03:44 PM. Reason: Gay erotica removed.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-01-2012, 04:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jay W Doom View Post
who is it that is helping you achieve *** fantasy deleted ***? I get that if you're under 12 its probably your priest,
We are NOT Catholics here!

Please go and introduce yourself in the introduction forum. We want to know what you can do for Jesus.


Stop whining
(1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
(1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
(Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
(Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-18-2012, 03:59 PM

Dear Friend,

Quote:
Originally Posted by timmothy View Post
And to be honest I'm currently launching a giant virus to destroy this site...
...and...

Yours in Him,
bab
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-24-2012, 10:58 AM

our Pastor's wife, Elizabeth (Christian submissive wife and proud mother of 12 kids, now adults) once instructed me, according to God's will (Titus 2:3-5) about this point. She told me to include, in my daily prayers to God, a special one, asking the Lord to preserve me from this sin.

She also told me that, when she was obeying of her wifely duty to offer fertile ground for her husband's seed, she though about really unpleasent and disgusting subjects, to prevent her mind and body from any sensitivity to evil pleasure. I always do so, and I can confirm that I never had an orgasm all my life long! (and I have 6 kids, and now I am 6 weeks pregnant of the 7th)

Our Pastor says that not only the orgasm, but any kind of pleasure represents a real risk for the Salvation, so his advice is that if a wife should get any physical pleasure related with the intercourse, she should be disciplined, to release her guilt for this sin in front of the Lord. He says that it is always her husband's duty to hold her accountable for her sins, and pleasure during intercourse is a sin like many others.
He says that a hard spanking to tears is always a good tool for the husband to take lovingly care of his wife.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-24-2012, 11:10 AM

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Originally Posted by juliet View Post
our Pastor's wife, Elizabeth (Christian submissive wife and proud mother of 12 kids, now adults) once instructed me, according to God's will (Titus 2:3-5) about this point. She told me to include, in my daily prayers to God, a special one, asking the Lord to preserve me from this sin.

She also told me that, when she was obeying of her wifely duty to offer fertile ground for her husband's seed, she though about really unpleasent and disgusting subjects, to prevent her mind and body from any sensitivity to evil pleasure. I always do so, and I can confirm that I never had an orgasm all my life long! (and I have 6 kids, and now I am 6 weeks pregnant of the 7th)

Our Pastor says that not only the orgasm, but any kind of pleasure represents a real risk for the Salvation, so his advice is that if a wife should get any physical pleasure related with the intercourse, she should be disciplined, to release her guilt for this sin in front of the Lord. He says that it is always her husband's duty to hold her accountable for her sins, and pleasure during intercourse is a sin like many others.
He says that a hard spanking to tears is always a good tool for the husband to take lovingly care of his wife.
From a man's perspective, I can tell you that it's good for a wife to encourage her husband to deliver his seed as quickly possible so that she doesn't even have a chance to get there. Unbelieving harlots always want a man to last longer. A godly wife wants her husband to get it over with in a jiffy. Perhaps your pastor's wife could teach you some tricks to achieve this.


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-24-2012, 03:19 PM

OMG... I'm SaTaN!
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-24-2012, 08:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
A godly wife wants her husband to get it over with in a jiffy. Perhaps your pastor's wife could teach you some tricks to achieve this.

Dear Sir,
infact it is a very good idea. I will ask Elizabeth to instruct me.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 01-24-2013, 01:10 PM

Before the rest of the post I would like to thank my husband for helping me with this post. He truly provides the daily guidance I need to serve him and live as a true christian lady.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
I will share my own experiences from the point of view of a True Christian™ woman. Mr. Etheldreda has never needed to rape me in order to deposit his seed for matronly incubation. To do so would imply that I would refuse such a request. I would never refuse any request my lawful husband makes, as it is not only my duty and privilege, but it is my very instinct to obey without reservation. You see, my Heavenly Father created me very specifically to be a perfect help meet to my husband. By virtue of my womanly parts, my destiny was sealed, and it would bring me naught but anxiety to try and avoid this very natural drive I have as a woman. (Genesis 2:18)

Now, as a True Christian™ woman, I recognize God's Divine Justice regulating my part to be played in life. (Genesis 3:16) I would never impose my own understanding over my own life. (Job 28:28; Proverbs 3:5) Therefore, when Mr. Etheldreda feels called by the LORD to supply the Earth with one more Soldier for Christ, I am happy to do my duty, quietly and submissively. As a favor to him, I try to make the experience as quick and pleasant as possible so he can move on to greater and more important work for the Kingdom.
This describes perfectly how I feel. Sex is not meant to be enjoyed. It is meant for making new little soliders for Christ! I would never refuse my husbands request to deposit his seed within me so that I may carry his child. It is my duty and purpose to serve my husband and obey completely.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
When he is done (it should never take more than 3 minutes) thank him for his seed and then get up and go clean your self up. Then go make him a sandwich, drink and a piece of pie. I'm sure he'll have worked up an appetite.
I always thank my husband for depositing his seed in me for I am honored to serve as the vessel that carries new little soldiers for Christ. My husband finishes very quick and I have thankfully never felt any pleasure. Afterward, I make sure to make him some food and give him pie as well. He loves my blueberry pie.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Charli View Post
I don't think females can do the whole orgasm thingamee. Because we do not have external sexual organs that wee.
The christian women that I have talked to have never felt any pleasure from sex or had one of these so called woman orgasms. I feel like Sister Charli, that they don't even exist, for there is no need for one. Should they exist however, I hope I am never cursed with one.

Rebecca


"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 01-24-2013, 08:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Iamthefool View Post
If a Woman does not Orgasm it is PHYSICALLY Impossible to Gestate a Baby.

5th Grade Sex Ed Folks.
So that's what they're teaching in public school these days? Disgusting

Although I laugh that you claim this, then argue against a woman's body not being able to shut down in a case of rape.

Which one is it people? Can't have it both ways.


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 01-24-2013, 08:24 PM

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Originally Posted by ownedproperty View Post
The christian women that I have talked to have never felt any pleasure from sex or had one of these so called woman orgasms. I feel like Sister Charli, that they don't even exist, for there is no need for one. Should they exist however, I hope I am never cursed with one.

Rebecca
Amen sister, just lay back and pray that the seed takes root.


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 01-25-2013, 05:24 AM

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Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Amen sister, just lay back and pray that the seed takes root.
I pray hard as my husband deposits his seed. I pray daily that when my husband wishes to deposit his seed in me so that I may carry one of Christ's little soldiers, that I may never feel pleasure as it is the work of Satan.

Rebecca


"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2:4-5
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