[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

This is something I’ve seen in numerous threads, but somehow keeps getting ignored. We ask so little of new members, but they seem to lash out at anyone and everything. Here’s a few guidelines for you newbies.

1: Be civil in your posts.
2: Please ask questions in proper English. This means to use proper punctuation, grammar, and capitalize.
3: Don’t verbally attack anyone else in the forums. Some people are actually here to learn how to be True Christians™.
4: Don’t assume you are right. Chances are that you are only spouting what you think is right because some homer told you it was.
5: Keep an open mind. If you are easily offended, there are forums that cater to you. We suggest that you go there.
6: If you don’t agree, please post your response intelligently. Remember that you catch more flies with honey.
7: If you don’t like what you see, you can always leave. This is a forum for True Christians™, and we didn’t ask you to be here. You chose to come.
8: When in doubt, ask one of our Godly pastors or moderators.
9: Please use the “search” function. Chances are that you’re posting the same thing as a hundred people before you. Please look for a thread that is relevant.
10: Again, if you disagree, you have the option of leaving instead of attacking all the True Christians™ in these forums.
11: Vote Republican as any God fearing True Christian™ would.
12: It is best to keep your mouth shut (or your fingers still) when you don’t know for sure. Again, either ask nicely or keep silence.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Amen, Brother.

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

I would also ask that our Godly pastors and moderators feel free to add to this. These were just my first thoughts.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Thank you, Brother. I pray that the hellbound trash will see the undeniable wisdom of your advice. Now, I'd like to add a few things:

13. We don't take your word for what God wants. We take God's word for what He wants, as given to us in the Holy King James Bible. When you tell us what you think God wants, be sure to back it up with direct quotations from Scripture, giving chapter and verse.
14. Don't just tell us that we are wrong. If you are so sure that we are wrong, try showing us, using God's Word (see #13). You might just learn something yourself.
15. Our holy faith is based solidly on Scripture, which is given by inspiration of God (II Timothy 3:16). If what we say offends you, then you're offended by God, not by us.

[Father Maurice Lester]

...........

16. The number of teeth the average Landovarian has in their mouth.

17. The average age a Landovarian marries their sibling.

18. The number of Landovarians who haven't failed an IQ test!

19. The number of Landovarians yet to be indicted for internet fraud. (see paypal button below!)

20. The number of the last twenty Popes who went straight to Heaven! HELL!



Bless you, my lunatic fringers,
Father Mo

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Ignoring Father Mo's drivel...

16. If a woman, obtain written documentation of your husband's (or, failing that, father's) permission to be here.
17. Understand that the path to Heaven is long and hard. No one ever claimed that living for Jesus was easy. You are best off following any edicts given by a Pastor, and following them to the letter.
18. When quoting the Bible, ensure that it is from the only Bible endorsed by God Himself, the 1611 King James Version. Any other version will be edited/deleted.

[WickedWitch]

I know I'm not a True Christian™, and I'm a woman, but there's something I'd like to add to this list:

19. Don't spam. There's no point to making ridiculous threads like "YOU MUST ALL LIKE NASCAR" or "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU - HARRY POTTER ROX MY SOX!!11!1" or other such (retarded) things. If you're going to post the same thing over and over and over, you're going to be seriously disliked by everyone here. (And you'll probably end up being banned for being an annoyance.)

[tinfoil]

So you don't think you have any rights? Just because of a translation passed down through a ton of generations that could have changed all they wanted? I think you people are seriously misguided superior Republicans. The last statement I do not mean as a compliment, seeing as they are responsible for lack of funding on Stem-Cell research, an unnescessary and futile war, and one of the most entertaining (yet stupid) presidents ever. I don't think I'm perfect, and I hope but don't necessary hold for certain that I will go to heaven, but I think most of these people are superior intolerant misguided sexists or blind sheep followers. I know you guys want to prevent me from going to hell, but I think if I followed instructions on this site, I'd get there pretty fast.
1. Go out and buy a gun sponsored by a Republican government official.
2. Find some people who might be gay.
3. Shoot them.
4. Burn.

[toadspawn]

Ok people get a clue you all think that your gods children well you could not be more wrong you thing that spewing this right wing political garbage is going to get you in to heaven your wrong! I don't know why you people put some much faith in to this stuff that these kind of people spew it nonsense in the total meaning of the word. I am a Christian and a Baptist at that so that means that I must be going to hell right because that is what your minster says is true well guess what your wrong! I will ascend to heaven on a chariot of fire because I believe in the lord almighty and he said he will save any one the believes in him and take them to his kingdom . John the baptist was the founder of our church so to call us a cult is laughfable he was one of the the men that followed and worked for our lord. So any of you right wing nut jobs need to pull your head out of the sand and look around and figure out what you really need, want, ect. because if you don't your going strait to the fires of hell and will never get out. your the kind of people that are ruining the United Stated with your anti government bull killing people that dont agree with your way of life and that what you think that christians do well wrong again guys its people like you that start wars and massacre people by the millions just a few examples hitler, stailin, they believed they were doing the right thing nope sorry not even close! You force feed this crap to people that have no hope and brain wash them to accept it. and then when some one like me hs the gall in your mind to speak against your way of life you ban them and delete the posting well that kind of crap is just that crap I hope god finds mercy on people like you because he would not appove of this kind of work in his name


long live the freedoms of the united states of america
Ps this soldier would hate to see if the us government found out about this site it probably aready on the watch list for terrorist activitys

[One-eyed Jack]

I'm not sure where you are coming from, friend.

You say you are a Baptist but you don't support the conservative movement?

Does that mean you are a baby-killing abortionist? How is that Christian?

Does that mean you are a tax-and-spend liberal who wants to force Americans to use socialist health care? How is that Christian?

Does that mean you are tolerant toward gays? The Bible says the homosexuality is an abomination. How is tolerating an abomination before God a Christian trait?

Listen. The Bible teaches us that one people possess God's Truth. And all other people are pagans and heathens, unrepentant sinners who will be damned to Hell. Oh GENERATION of VIPERS! How shall you escape hell fire?

The Bible teaches us that God's people are superior. We accept God's law, so we are morally superior to everyone else.

Christians, and only Christians, are chosen by God to bring everyone else into conformance with God's law. Because our moral understanding is superior!

That is why America must be brought back to Biblical law. Go to Ten Commandments and read. God's law must rule over the laws of man -- in America, and in the WORLD!

~~ OEJ

[toadspawn]

no i dont belive in abortion i think its wrong i dont think gays are good and im not a liberal i just think thast the crap you spew is not christian not for the good of the usa and your terrorist

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by hellspawn

no i dont belive in abortion i think its wrong i dont think gays are good and im not a liberal i just think thast the crap you spew is not christian not for the good of the usa and your terrorist

Have you got anything in particular in mind boy? Like an example of something we said that is not supported by God's Word as laid down in KJV1611?

Examples boy! Words are cheap.

[toadspawn]

calling me boy is calling the kettel black you backward hillbilly mormon God said that any one that believe in him will be saved but according to you thats not true and that bull I am a frim believer in god and what he teaches but i can not in good concience believen in this crap

[Mr.Rash]

I am trying to figure out how to actually post a "hello" post as I am new here. How do I do that?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by Mr.Rash

I am trying to figure out how to actually post a "hello" post as I am new here. How do I do that?

Well you obviously figured out how to post. Now go here and post your introduction and tell us about how you found Jesus.