Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum
Reload this Page How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

View Poll Results: Should I bash them with rocks or drown them slowly?
Bash their skulls! 45 24.59%
Drown them slowly! 98 53.55%
Other - Please explain 40 21.86%
Voters: 183. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#201)
Old
Yulenka is a Tool's Avatar
Yulenka is a Tool Yulenka is a Tool is offline
Unsaved trash, failed child impersonator
Under Investigation

Rides the Short Bus Aspergers Retard Posting Full of it 

 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Mar 2016
Yulenka is a Tool is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Yulenka is a Tool is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 03-29-2016, 08:20 AM

I heard a comment on TV the other that if you watch an animal closely you can learn a lot. I definitely agree. I watch my cats and try to interact with them at times on their level and study their reactions. I’ve learned many things; one of the most confusing is that they seem to be convinced that even though I am bigger and stronger, they are smarter. Most cat owners would quickly agree, but few would question why. How can a cat really think for a moment that it is smarter than a person? How can they fail to see the superiority of human intelligence? I know I’m smarter than they are, and yet I could never convince them of that.


I've killed one of them in front of them, But they're still eating out of the palm of my hand and thinking they are smarter than me!
Reply With Quote
(#202)
Old
gerardwayruinedme's Avatar
gerardwayruinedme gerardwayruinedme is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation

Cutter Cancer on Society Retard Posting Rides the Short Bus 

 
Posts: 13
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Up Gerard Way's ass
gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gerardwayruinedme is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 03-30-2016, 04:07 AM

Don't kill them at all, that is considered animal abuse, and can land you in jail. You can't spread the word of God if you are in prison
Reply With Quote
(#203)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth 

 
Posts: 21,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-28-2017, 08:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gerardwayruinedme View Post
Don't kill them at all, that is considered animal abuse, and can land you in jail. You can't spread the word of God if you are in prison
Don't be silly. Prisons are some of the most efficient breeding-grounds for religion.

Besides, one cannot abuse a position of unrestricted authority. There is simply no room for corruption when one has been given dominion over another.

Glory!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#204)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow 

 
Posts: 5,503
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-28-2017, 10:50 PM

God drowned a lot of kittens* in the Flood, but head-bashing (in the form of stoning to death) was something He only commanded to be done to sinful humans.

For example, a woman who was raped in a well-populated area but didn't cry for help just because, say-- a knife was being held to her throat.


Deuteronomy 22:23-24


Another example, some creep gathering twigs on the Sabbath. The Lord made sure to have His people stone the crap out of that guy pronto.


Numbers 15:32-36


The fact that drowning is considered a peacefull way to die just show how merciful God is, considering all the people and animals that He had to kill in order to cleanse the world of its wickness with the Great Flood.


* Not just kittens, of course. Also puppies, baby chicks, little bitty bunnies and adorable baby elephants.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#205)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 20,631
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 12:29 AM

You might consider burning. Witches often have cats as familiars. Witches are traditionally burned, especially in places where there are few suitable stones.

Burning purifies and at the same time allow life to continue for sufficient time to repent thoroughly and earnestly.

I think drowning is out. Other than the flood, which God promised He would never do again, drowning is not a recognized form of death sentence.

Wikipedia has an interesting article on "Ordeal by water"
Quote:
Ordeal by water was associated with the witch hunts of the 16th and 17th centuries: an accused who sank was considered innocent, while floating indicated witchcraft. Some argued that witches floated because they had renounced baptism when entering the Devil's service. King James VI of Scotland (later also James I of England) claimed in his Daemonologie that water was so pure an element that it repelled the guilty.

The idea itself went back to classical times. Pliny the Elder in his Naturalis Historia, Bk. VII (ca AD 70), translator Philemon Holland, says: Hee <Philarchus> reporteth besides of these kind of men <sc. witches>, that they will never sink or drown in the water, be they charged never somuch with weightie & heavie apparel.
But you will see that the wicked float and the good sink. (Which leaves an interesting theological question in respect of Eliasha's "Floating Ax Head" miracle at 2:Kings:6:
5 But as one was felling a beam, the axe head fell into the water: and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed.
6 And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast it in thither; and the iron did swim.
7 Therefore said he, Take it up to thee. And he put out his hand, and took it.)

Of course, on a broader view, it doesn't matter much which method you use as animals have no soul.




Ec:7:16: Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

Reply With Quote
(#206)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow 

 
Posts: 5,503
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
. . . it doesn't matter much which method you use as animals have no soul.
That is an excellent point, esteemed Brother Bathfire. Animals have no souls because they are nothing more than a collection of appetites.


And with that in mind, one mustn't overlook the simplicity of poison.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#207)
Old
gayboi900's Avatar
gayboi900 (On Moderation) gayboi900 is offline
Unsaved trash
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 10
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: New York
gayboi900 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.gayboi900 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Guns Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 07:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Don't be silly. Prisons are some of the most efficient breeding-grounds for religion.

Besides, one cannot abuse a position of unrestricted authority. There is simply no room for corruption when one has been given dominion over another.

Glory!
Are you insane or?
Reply With Quote
(#208)
Old
GayChristian (On Moderation) GayChristian is offline
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Dec 2017
GayChristian is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 10:13 PM

this site is a cult
Reply With Quote
(#209)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is online now
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years 

 
Posts: 6,385
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-30-2017, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayChristian View Post
this site is a cult
You do not know the definition of a "cult". A cult is a group of people under the domination of a person or idea. The members do not think for themselves.

We here at Landover Baptists study the Bible individually and along with our pastors, come to the same agreement as to what it says. We can quote volumes of scripture from memory.

We have visitors from genuine cults. They believe in Hillary Clinton, liberalism, homosexual rights and Catholicism. Such sad people.

We pray that our help in pointing out their sins will bring them to Jesus.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#210)
Old
GreatScott GreatScott is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 14
Join Date: May 2018
GreatScott is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 01:29 PM

I'd recommend either actually stoning them or shooting them. Shooting would save time and lead is a type of rock.
Reply With Quote
(#211)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility 

 
Posts: 8,880
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 01:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayChristian View Post
this site is a cult
How can it be a cult when we follow Jesus?

John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#212)
Old
Diesel Stanford Diesel Stanford is offline
Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
 
 
Posts: 120
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
Diesel Stanford is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Exclamation Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayChristian View Post
this site is a cult
Gays are a cult. Leviticus 18:22 may offend you: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Reply With Quote
(#213)
Old
Roland's Avatar
Roland Roland is offline
Obese Swedish Meatball
Delusional Forum Member
 

Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus 

 
Posts: 1,597
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
[...] and lead is a type of rock.
Nope. Lead is a metal. You could combine it with sulfur, then you would get a pretty crappy rock.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Reply With Quote
(#214)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow 

 
Posts: 5,503
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 01:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
I'd recommend either actually stoning them or shooting them. Shooting would save time and lead is a type of rock.
The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came to a True Christian™ forum for advice.


If he had wanted the opinions of garden-variety sadists and/or unsaved trash of completely unknown provenance, he would have posted his question on Twitter.


Also, by this point the kittens are either dead at the hands of the OP or they have succumbed to the ravages of old age. Yet another reason that your input is unneeded.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#215)
Old
GreatScott GreatScott is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 14
Join Date: May 2018
GreatScott is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 03:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came to a True Christian™ forum for advice.


If he had wanted the opinions of garden-variety sadists and/or unsaved trash of completely unknown provenance, he would have posted his question on Twitter.


Also, by this point the kittens are either dead at the hands of the OP or they have succumbed to the ravages of old age. Yet another reason that your input is unneeded.
And slowly drowning them isn't. Or bashing their skulls in.
I'm actually a Christian born and raised in the US for over seven generations.
Reply With Quote
(#216)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is online now
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards 

 
Posts: 12,306
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: buying ALL the Kaepernick jerseys
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 04:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
...I'm actually a Christian...
So you agree with the Bible when it says non-virgin brides that have been properly bought and paid for should be killed at the city gates? And that married rape victims should die right alongside their attackers? And homosexuals? And witches? And those who gather sticks on the Sabbath? And you eagerly await the glorious day when Jesus comes back and kills 1/3 of humanity, for starters?



Nice. /s



"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell
Reply With Quote
(#217)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort 

 
Posts: 1,484
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 04:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
And slowly drowning them isn't. Or bashing their skulls in.
I'm actually a Christian born and raised in the US for over seven generations.
Ms. Scott,


So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill cats?


YIC
TT


PS. Cats are not mentioned in The Holy Bible (KJV 1611) so have no relevance in the world.


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#218)
Old
Diesel Stanford Diesel Stanford is offline
Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
 
 
Posts: 120
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
Diesel Stanford is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Skull Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 05:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
Ms. Scott,


So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill cats?


YIC
TT


PS. Cats are not mentioned in The Holy Bible (KJV 1611) so have no relevance in the world.
Amen, that is correct. The Bible must be our final authority. Oh, and the same thing does go for dogs. Dogs are mentoined fourty times in the Bible.


Proverbs 26:11 - As adogreturneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
Reply With Quote
(#219)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow 

 
Posts: 5,503
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 03:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel Stanford View Post
Amen, that is correct. The Bible must be our final authority. Oh, and the same thing does go for dogs. Dogs are mentoined fourty times in the Bible.


Proverbs 26:11 - As adogreturneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
Mr. Alternate Fuel California College, thank you for the verse. It is deeply inspiring, particularly first thing in the morning and immediately before meals.

Alas, you misread Mr. Taylor's intent. He stressed that cats are NOT mentioned in the Bible. Therefore, anything done to or with them is neither here nor there in regards to God's specific commands.

The only instruction that we have received from The Lord that can be applied to cats comes in the form of verses granting us final authority over ALL animals. Because this life form was not deemed acceptable for sacrifice in the temple, slitting its throat in a quick and merciful manner is not prescribed.

The entire reason for this thread is to crowd source wisdom based on what we can infer from the Bible since God specfically chose not to give us specific instructions. I like to think that He wanted to give us a little puzzle to work out in order to determine our commitment to cherishing His Word.

Regarding dogs--you are correct in noting that they are mentioned numerous times in the Bible. None of these mentions is in a flattering tone. This tells us that The Lord is not a fan of the canine form, possibily because He does not find it funny when people point out that "dog" spelled backwards is "god".

Either way, cats and dogs are not Our Savior's idea of a best friend. For this reason alone, we need to sever all ties to them which divert love, devotion and resources [read:money] away from Jesus.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
advice, animal, animal baptism, cat salvation, drowning, kitten killing, stone the sinner!, stoning, waterboarding

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved