Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 06:42 AM
So what is the big deal. MADD is just a bunch of whining women who hate to see people have a good time. The very few people that get killed by impaired drivers is totally acceptable collateral damage. Everyone dies one day and most of us make it home OK anyway.
The laws were written by nanny state politicians, who are mostly lawyers, to give jobs to lawyers. The judge, prosecuting attorney, defense attorney (who are all lawyers) and the police all make money from drunk drivers. The government gets tax money on the liquor when it is purchased and also on the fines when happy people are caught. It is just another form of taxation on the American people to make us depressed and susceptible to socialism.
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 07:40 AM
I always pray Jesus to guide me safely home when I drink while driving. Faith has always kept me safe, so again we see how stupid secular laws really are. Those I've hit with my car are probably unsaved trash and they deserve to be hit by a car.
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 08:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
I always pray Jesus to guide me safely home when I drink while driving. Faith has always kept me safe, so again we see how stupid secular laws really are. Those I've hit with my car are probably unsaved trash and they deserve to be hit by a car.
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Jesus blesses those who buy American vehicles. Oftentimes I "glide" in my ex-Iraq War armored Hummer from a block or two away, closing my eyes and putting the gear in neutral to let Jesus bring it home straight and true. Faith has always kept me 100% safe. My neighbors on the other hand always seem to get terrible scratches on their cheap Jap mobiles.
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 08:44 AM
The only thing I ever hit while driving under the influence of the old water of life was a Llama. No ideas if I killed it but it did make a loud crunching noise and I heard a squirty-splatter as I careered over it, so I wouldn't bet too much on its survival chances.
This to me was a sign that I was behaving paganishly. Odd perhaps.
But it WAS a sign. Why would God send a Llama of all creatures!? In Scotland!!? A native creature like a deer, a porpoise or a Campbell might have sufficed but I would probably have thought little of it - but an Australian animal like a Llama...!!?
A sign. A message.
I hit a Llama, therefore the image of the Dalai Llama popped into my head told me 'Die, lie (there) Llama' and from that day I get either my wife or Eva María the maid to drive.
I hate driving anyway. And Llamas.Anyway I won't Dalai any longer, those are my thoughts on this.
McU.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 09:15 AM
I know it's ironic, but if we had more drunk drivers, the roads would be safer and we would have less deaths. It is a scientific and medical fact that drunk people survive crashes more often than sober ones. Apparently, it makes the body relaxed, so in the event of a traumatic collision, the body is able to sustain the injuries better. Just look at all the news stories where a drunken driver kills someone else, but the drunken driver is completely unharmed and has to stand trial.
So, actually, it's far more safer to drive drunk since there is less of a chance you will be killed. I've been arrested for DUI on many occasions, but I was able to make the cop see my point, and I've been let off scot-free. Well, it also helps that I'm rather rich and make substantial private donations to the local police force, but that's only because I recognize their hard work and God rewards me for my charitable nature.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 12:35 PM
When I was a kid, I drank a fifth of vodka and decided to walk across country during a torrential down pour. I was walking along the highway, completely soaked and had to go around a puddle that covered the road so my feet did not get wetter. Well, some atheist in a slantmobile hits me going 50. When I came around, I saw the car. Totaled, front end caved in like it hit a tree. Now, I am a formidable man but not that formidable. I had not a scratch or a bruise. The only possible explanation was that my drinking buddy, Jesus, was watching my back and the car hit Him instead of me.
The moral here is never drink alone, Jesus is always by your side, Buy Him a round. It is the least you can do. The life He Saves© could be your own.
On a side note, I think MADD was formed because even beer goggles are not that strong.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Last edited by James Hutchins; 06-02-2011 at 02:46 PM.
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Re: Drunk driving -
06-02-2011, 02:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Apparently, it makes the body relaxed, so in the event of a traumatic collision, the body is able to sustain the injuries better. Just look at all the news stories where a drunken driver kills someone else, but the drunken driver is completely unharmed and has to stand trial.
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Apparently(?), Reverend Jim.
There's no "apparent" to it at all. I'm living proof of how a relaxed body can survive.
At the end of each weary day I spend on the Bench, I retire to the wet bar in my chambers and work very hard at getting relaxed.
I mount my moped for the commute home. From time to time, it takes three or four efforts to properly "saddle up" but I just brush the dust off my knees and try again.
Just yesterday I came in contact with yet another stop sign. My wig was left somewhat askew, but I suffered no actual bodily injuries even though the sign post was firmly planted between my legs.
Officer Don Richards witnessed this episode and kindly helped me to my feet. He smelled a bit of muscatel, but was completely relaxed.
I sleep better at night knowing the officers of the Landover Police Department aren't all up-tight while making their rounds.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Re: Drunk driving -
07-17-2013, 02:27 PM
MADD are just a bunch of welfare moms who probably shot insulin into their possessed children.
Bible approve of drunk driving in Proverbs 16:9
I do always keep a KJV Bible in the glove compartment and quote the correct verse if I'm stopped by the police.
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Re: Drunk driving -
07-24-2013, 05:13 PM
If people are worried about drunk drivers, they should stop trying to kill the US economy by telling others how much they can drink and start praying to Jesus for protection from drunk drivers. Every day I ask Jesus to keep me safe from drunk drivers, and I have never been hit by one. PRAYER WORKS!
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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