[Cranky Old Man]

How To Quit Peeing and Pooping In 7 Easy Steps!
A simple and effective guide by an ex-addict.


Introduction

Everyone knows the very successful STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION program created by Pastor Ezekiel himself! Unfortunately a lot of people are still practicing the filthy and disgusting habits of peeing and pooping. All those practicing these horrible acts clearly overlook one very important fact: GOD KNOWS AND SEES EVERYTHING! God is omnipresent (Psalm 139:7-12), all knowing (Psalm 139:2-6; Isaiah 40:13-14) so God knows and sees everything (Proverbs 15:3, Acts 1:24). So even if you are pooping in total isolation, clearly being afraid others will notice your filthy habit, God sees, hears and smells everything you are doing!

Common excuses by those addicted to peeing and pooping

"Everyone does it!"
As with all addictions, smoking, drinking, masturbating, voting for Obama, the most common excuse is "everyone does it". But this is simply not true! It's a lie! Many people have significantly improved their lives by stopping these filthy habits. They have more time for their family, they have more time for their Bible studies, they save lots of money and they no longer get depressed by the isolation that goes with peeing and pooping! Just imagine how much better your life would be without this filthy addiction!

"Isn't peeing and pooping healthy?"
Of course not! Why do you think it smells so horrible!? Poop is very unhealthy because it contains lots of dangerous viruses, bacteria, and parasites! It is a well known fact that poop causes 87.3% of all illness in America. Just imagine not getting sick any more for the rest of your life! And that is just one of the many benefits of stopping this disgusting habit!

"How can something that feels so good be so bad?"
We have all been there. That satisfying feeling you get when you are pooping. But let us think about exactly what is happening there. What the reason is this feeling is so enjoyable. Why precisely we get a kick out of relieving ourselves of poop. IT'S ANAL STIMULATION! Just let that sink in for a moment. The great feeling you get when you are pooping is exactly the same feeling you get from anal sex! The horrible sin of homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27) and being addicted to pooping IS THE SAME THING!

"I can control myself! I don't do it that often! I am not addicted!"
This is the lie that all addicts tell themselves. Everyone addicted to alcohol, drugs or porn deludes themselves into believing that they can stop at any moment. But like with all addictions, you are just lying to yourself! And this is very easy to prove. Just stop peeing and pooping for 3 days in a row. Just 3 days sounds easy enough right? Well it's not. Doing this will make you feel horrible. It will hurt a lot and your entire body will scream! These are clear signs of how addictive these habits really are!

The 7 Easy Steps

1. Admit you are powerless over peeing and pooping.
You cannot stop an addiction if you don't admit that you are addicted. If you don't realize that your life has become unmanageable. If you don't know in every fiber of your being that it is out of control. But, you reading these 7 steps is a good sign! Try finding ex-addicts, preferably people you already know well and talk about this with them. Prayer also helps a lot here. Just beg Jesus for guidance! (Matthew 21:22)

2. Make sure your family and friends are there to support you.
There is no way to sugarcoat this. Breaking out of the addiction cycle of doom is going to be HARD! You will need all the support you can get. You will have to talk about this with your closest friends and family so they understand and support you. Unfortunately there will always be a few friends or family members who refuse to support you. They might even try to talk you out of it! These people clearly don't have your best interest in mind so this would be a good moment to cut them out of your life.

3. Start eating 90% less and drinking 50% less.
Science has shown that there is a correlation between eating and pooping and also between drinking and peeing. So as a preparation for the steps to follow you need to reduce your intake. When you make sure the amount you drink is equal to the amount you sweat, you will no longer need to pee. 50% is just an indication here, it will take some experimenting to figure out what works best for you.

4. Choose an optimal moment to stop.
You need to make sure you can focus all your mental and physical energy into this. You need to make sure you have as few distractions as possible. So if you are in the middle of a project, complete it first. If you have a long lasting dispute with someone, solve it. Do a thorough self search to find everything that bothers you and eliminate it. A good way to achieve this might be combining it with a vacation so you can be certain you will have as little distractions as possible.

5. STOP!
You are ready to stop now. So just do it! Yes, it's really that simple. Just stop! Don't do that one last pee or that one last poo, but just stop! You are well prepared now so this is going to work! You are going to succeed!

6. Coping with the withdrawal symptoms.
The first 24 hours won't be that hard. Unfortunately in the days that follow the withdrawal symptoms will kick in HARD. At some point you might even feel like you are going to die in agony! The solution here is the 3 pee program: Painkillers, Prayer and the Peepee clamp! The painkillers will help you cope with the physical pain, the prayer will help with the mental pressure and the peepee clamp will prevent you from peeing while you sleep.

7. Enjoy the rest of your life!
You are free of your addiction now! You did it! You can now enjoy more happiness, more time with your family and friends, no longer have to feel guilty all the time and have more money to spend! Don't forget to share your fortune with others who have not yet rid themselves of these addictions. Show them how much better your life has become and help them achieve the same!

[Midge Murphy]

I think this works!! I prayed and I haven't felt the need to poop for a couple of hours now. Shout Glory!

[Elmer G. White]

Dear Brother,

Wonderful program! My offspring will be on this asap!

3. Start eating 90% less and drinking 50% less.
Science has shown that there is a correlation between eating and pooping and also between drinking and peeing. So as a preparation for the steps to follow you need to reduce your intake. When you make sure the amount you drink is equal to the amount you sweat, you will no longer need to pee. 50% is just an indication here, it will take some experimenting to figure out what works best for you.

Could one consider modifying also the quality of food here!? I surmise the bulk of the disgusting fecal mass derives from FIBER. Satanic vegetarian material! Instead, this 10% that remains could be mostly or exclusively meat and animal fat? They are also absorbed almost totally reducing any stool mass significantly! What is your expert opinion?

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Benedict A. Davis]

The solution here is the 3 pee program: Painkillers, Prayer and the Peepee clamp! The painkillers will help you cope with the physical pain, the prayer will help with the mental pressure and the peepee clamp will prevent you from peeing while you sleep.

Might I remind you that pain killers are usually opiates. Opiates slows down the motility of your bowels to a point you are unable to poop without outside interventions. Increase the painkillers, stop the pooping through natural body functions! PTL!

[Nobar King]

One thing I do to reduce my urine production is to spit a lot.

[Wide-Open]

Some people will say: I can't stop, I haven't hit rock bottom yet." This is a bad excuse. Start by hitting your bottom with a rock, if that's what you are thinking.

Remember: nothing changes if nothing changes. Just stopping without truly submitting to your Higher Power - the Baby Jesus - will just turn you into a dry pooper. You can only keep this up for so long, and then the floodgates will open. Believing is key. Believe, and your body will start to absorb your filth. To the point where you completely abstain and you no longer feel the urge.

Yes, your breath may start to have a hint of unpleasant odour, but since most True Christians will be in the same position, they will hardly notice.

Personally, I have been clean for 3 weeks now, and it feels like I'm reborn again, again.