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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-29-2014, 09:09 PM

Since all of you seem to enjoy Freud and Jung so much, might I point out that they said that men who objectified women as nothing but possessions were closet pansies? Just saying. Now this is food for thought
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Since all of you seem to enjoy Freud and Jung so much, might I point out that they said that men who objectified women as nothing but possessions were closet pansies? Just saying. Now this is food for thought
What the hell kind of joke was that?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 06:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What the hell kind of joke was that?
Lol pastor. Er... Not very quick are we??? Lemme break it down for you. This........ is...... not....... a...... joke..... Did you get it Pastor?!
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 06:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Lol pastor. Er... Not very quick are we??? Lemme break it down for you. This........ is...... not....... a...... joke..... Did you get it Pastor?!
Thats not a very funny joke, either.

If you need some material, you should study this guy's act, he's a laugh riot:

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 08:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Since all of you seem to enjoy Freud and Jung so much, might I point out that they said that men who objectified women as nothing but possessions were closet pansies? Just saying. Now this is food for thought
So, what is it - no doubt you are regurgitating something you picked up in graduate school. Let's face it, Freud (and to a lesser extent his sometimes companion Jung) were taking cocaine as well as prescribing it to their patients. How else could Freud come up with such theories as tallywhacker envy, and when it came to women all he could say to summarize 30 years of study was "Was will das Weib?". And then there was that bit about the cigar - which no one can seem to find any evidence of him having said it.


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...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
So, what is it - no doubt you are regurgitating something you picked up in graduate school. Let's face it, Freud (and to a lesser extent his sometimes companion Jung) were taking cocaine as well as prescribing it to their patients. How else could Freud come up with such theories as tallywhacker envy, and when it came to women all he could say to summarize 30 years of study was "Was will das Weib?". And then there was that bit about the cigar - which no one can seem to find any evidence of him having said it.
Oh yea (Sir)?? Funny how many members of this church use him to justify their vile actions.

Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 04-30-2014 at 12:38 PM. Reason: Corrected spelling.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 12:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Oh yea (Sir)?? Funny how many members of this church use him to justify their vile actions.
Please post a specific instance of a True Christian™ using Freud to justify anything.


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 12:40 PM

Who exactly uses that imbicile Freud to justify their actions?

The only justification I need is the Bible(KJV1611).

Psalm 33:11 The counsel of the LORD standeth for ever, the thoughts of his heart to all generations.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 04-30-2014, 01:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Thats not a very funny joke, either.

If you need some material, you should study this guy's act, he's a laugh riot:

Heard of Russell Brand??? Had a good word with the folks of westboro a while back. Now he knows humor, You got to learn from him man.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 05-01-2014, 01:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Oh yea (Sir)?? Funny how many members of this church use him to justify their vile actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rolledup View Post
Heard of Russell Brand??? Had a good word with the folks of westboro a while back. Now he knows humor, You got to learn from him man.
Yo rolledup, get a clue here - this is a thread where we celebrate our manliness and manhood that our Creator endowed us with by having a few laughs with Jesus. It's a time to share a special joy with Jesus and to kick back and enjoy Salvation®.

So far son you're about as welcome as Obama at a KKK rally, not to mention you've been putting a damper on the Holy Spirit around here - and no, this is not the place to talk about Freud, or for that matter Dadaism.


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-29-2015, 06:08 PM



May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-02-2015, 02:56 PM

A Baptist man comes home after work to find his wife sitting on the couch watching Ellen. The kids are running all over the house, screaming and crying, while the dishes are piled up in the sink and dinner isn't ready. The man says, "Here, let me clean up this mess and prepare our meal. You sit there with your show and I will handle the kids, too."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard? I mean, as IF!


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-02-2015, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
A Baptist man comes home after work to find his wife sitting on the couch watching Ellen. The kids are running all over the house, screaming and crying, while the dishes are piled up in the sink and dinner isn't ready. The man says, "Here, let me clean up this mess and prepare our meal. You sit there with your show and I will handle the kids, too."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard? I mean, as IF!
Ha! Good one, brother!
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burger Re: Manly Jokes - 08-05-2015, 05:59 AM

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese!
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Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Bible Re: Manly Jokes - 08-11-2015, 10:41 PM

In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.”


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Charlemagne Charlemagne is offline
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Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Charlemagne is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Bible Re: Manly Jokes - 08-11-2015, 10:51 PM

A young Florentine was going down to River Arno with one of those nets in which they wash wool, and met a frolicsome boy, who, out of fun, asked him what birds he was going to catch with that net of his? “I am going to the Brothel’s outlet,” replied the youth, “to spread my net there, and catch your mother.” “Mind you search the place carefully,” retorted the boy, “for you will be sure to find yours there also.”

A man who had given his wife a valuable dress, complained that he never exercised his marital rights without it costing him more than a golden ducat each time. “It is your fault,” answered the wife, “why do you not, by frequent repetition, bring down the cost to one farthing?”
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-12-2015, 03:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlemagne View Post
A young Florentine was going down to River Arno with one of those nets in which they wash wool, and met a frolicsome boy, who, out of fun, asked him what birds he was going to catch with that net of his? “I am going to the Brothel’s outlet,” replied the youth, “to spread my net there, and catch your mother.” “Mind you search the place carefully,” retorted the boy, “for you will be sure to find yours there also.”

A man who had given his wife a valuable dress, complained that he never exercised his marital rights without it costing him more than a golden ducat each time. “It is your fault,” answered the wife, “why do you not, by frequent repetition, bring down the cost to one farthing?”
I'm pretty sure you're a fag.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
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Rebuke Re: Manly Jokes - 08-12-2015, 07:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'm pretty sure you're a fag.
Pastor,

This is a well-known fact. The original Charlemagne was a prolific supporter of queer scholars, the most notorious of which was Alcuin of Tours, to whom Charlemagne was particularly attached. His poetry, which Charlemagne admired, contains poorly disguised innuendo that promotes homerfornication.

Cuckoo, what took you from the nesting place?
But will he come again? That no man knows.
If your love sings, cuckoo, then come again,
Come again, come again, quick, pray you come.

Why would a handsome king recruit a well-established gay man into his court unless he wished to do a bit of "experimenting" with his bi-curious side? Obviously, he wouldn't! Our uninvited guest, Mr. Charlemagne of the lost Kingdom of Larping must know this and be also a supporter.

1 Corinthians 6:9
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,





Here we can see Alcuin instructing Charlemagne in the lost arts of Gomorrah including most likely oral joys and blasphemous use of the Bible.

And this used to be a fun and casual thread until this sodomite of bygone days tried to usurp it.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-13-2015, 03:37 AM

Q: What do the joo rabbis do with foreskin after a circumsicion?

A: Sell it to the fags for chewing gum!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
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Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Smile Re: Manly Jokes - 08-13-2015, 03:45 AM

To get back on the track.



Three Jooish mothers were chatting in a café about their sons.

"My son is the most successful", the first one said. "He's a wealthy lawyer!"

The second mother took a bite of her kosher bagel and said: "MY son is much more successful. He owns three department stores!"

The third one remained silent. "Well", the others said, "What does YOUR son do for a living".

"He doesn't do anything. He is a homosexual."

"But he's gotta do something to earn a living!"

"Oh, that! He's got a couple of close "friends". One is a lawyer and the other owns several department stores."


2 Corinthians 11:24
Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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