Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness 

 
Posts: 20,109
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-16-2017, 04:28 PM



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 26,472
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-16-2017, 05:58 PM

My finest congratulations on your birthday, my dear Pastor. Sadly, only being 29, you have a long time before you will have the Glory of sitting upon the right Hand of God Almighty and to know first hand His Grip of Love massaging your soul.
You might notice a 2018 Pearlescent Escalade parked in your lot at your residence at the Chrystal Cathedral in downton Landover. I'd of had it delivered to your residence but the security team told the driver there was a lock down due to an escaped 'cub'. In the back, you'll find a case of Macallan Lalique VI 65 Year Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow 

 
Posts: 4,298
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-16-2017, 06:11 PM

Happy Birthday to you, Pastor Zeke. I heard someone describe you as "smarmy". Is that like a made-up word like, "smartish"? Because I would disagree, because you are obviously truly smart. In fact, you are the "smarmiest"!

The Good Lord keep you and Bless you,.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Brother Gonzalez's Avatar
Brother Gonzalez Brother Gonzalez is offline
Another brick in Donald´s wall
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture Trump of GOD Hands Off Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Mission to Messico Flat Earth True Christian™ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Donald Trump 2016! Babysitter Outreach preacher Touched by Jesus Ex-Mary Worshipper 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Alternative Facts Kirk Cameron Fan Club Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A 

 
Posts: 676
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-16-2017, 10:39 PM

Happy birthday Pastor! Thanks for your guidance and for making this transition to Heaven easier! I hope Jesus calls you soon to be beside Him!Of course, not before you have accomplished your mission here in Earth.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Best stoning bucket A for Effort One Year/1000 posts Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico 2015 Witch Hunt Award 

 
Posts: 1,283
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-16-2017, 10:49 PM

Happy birthday, Pastor! I hope you are richly blessed for all that you have done for Jesus as you continue to, quote Sister Handmaiden, "smarmly" serve Him with all the humbleness and wisdom of the head pastor! I sent an aged whiskey for your birthday, I hope you received it in time!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel 

 
Posts: 963
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Cake Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-17-2017, 12:54 AM

A God-Inspired Poem in Observance of Your Birthday


God formed all of creation and said it was ok
But something still was missing upon that seventh day
He formed a man out of the dust, Adam was his name
Now Adam was a fairly good guy, but God thought he was lame.


So he found some gold dust on the shelf and sprinkled it around
He mixed it with an angel's looks and made it muscle bound
There's little doubt, I shout it out, I know just how you'll feel
When I tell you what God had formed was our own Ezekiel.


Then creation was complete at last, it made God shout hurray!
He smiled as He watched Jesus and our Pastor Zeke at play.
He then taught Zeke about the plan to save the world from sin.
Zeke volunteered to preach the news to all the mortal men.


And that's the story of our pastor, better than all others
He's better than your sisters, and better than your brothers.
He does not age, he just improves with each and every minute
Were he to wage a war, you know, he's guaranteed to win it.


So Happy Birthday, Pastor Zeke, although I am not worthy
To speak your name or breathe your air or walk upon your earthy.


Thank you, JESUS, for this wonderful, perfect man.
May he remember my name some day.


BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

ATTENTION CHRISTIAN LADIES:
I am a young, handsome, well-built True Christian™ male, with intelligence, ambition, and the blood of Jesus coursing through my virile body.
Does this create wholesome desires within you for courting?
Contact me by private message!

Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars 

 
Posts: 79,469
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-17-2017, 03:48 AM

?????


Where is my Airbus A380?



Where. Is. My. fre4king. Jet?




????



Seriously, my flock? What IS this? Your congrats coming the day AFTER my birthday?? A day LATE? Whisky spelled in two different ways? Is that the best I deserve? Really?? You know that I've worked for YEARS to deliver you into Heaven! You feel that your place is secure now but it only takes ONE word from me and Jesus can just as easily cast you into the pit? You all know that I've kept our community safe by having my houseboys patrol the streets for any undesirable activity among you guys. That's gonna change now! My good friend the POTUS DONALD will also contribute to our cause by extracting some well-trained troops to ensure proper tithe collection. Remember Ananias. And. His. Wife. What happened to them when they tithed too little?? And where's my fiancée?? Haven't heard from her for months! Covfefe! And why are my houseboys reporting Daisy Mae activity in the Faith Machine household? And what what what is that freakish POEM? Weren't you the horse guy? Why is there still manure on the Flint Mansion DRIVEWAY!? I can read the Lamentations (my poor late father Lamentations Flint would never have tolerated such disregard ) if I want poetry. Which I don't want.

I. Want. The. Jet. Delivered! Come on sheep! It's not rocket science! Just aviation! It looks like this!



It'll get me to spread the good news of JESUS to Southeast Asia and it will get YOU back unto the Heaven Track! Dear Jesus come and slay the sinners and let Thy light re-illuminate the dark hearts of my flock that are quenching for my teachings while I SELFLESSLY serve the Nation commandingadvising our President in his decisions.


This was the worst birthday since my 10th when my late father Lamentations Flint taught me the hard but loving Proverbs 13:24-way how Jesus feels about little boys who trespass.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 9,313
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pacifica, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-17-2017, 10:23 AM

I am sorry you had such a rotten birthday, Pastor. And I am sorry Daisy Mae felt she had to come to me to talk about your relationship problems. I told her this was the kind of thing she should talk to her pastor about, but she said she couldn't, as you are her pastor.

Anyway, I have something for you that I think will help with your "little problem."


Don't worry, sir, we all get old.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Titus Templeton's Avatar
Titus Templeton Titus Templeton is offline
Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
Jesus macht frei
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Gold Tither Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life One Year/1000 posts True Christian Artist True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Heart of compassion Eats the Most Pork Truck Stop Ministry Member Donald Trump 2016! Mower Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 5,620
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Titus Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-17-2017, 05:56 PM

Happy Birthday, Pastor! Me and my family already send money in hopes it will be used for the new airplane. God will make this very good man fly I am sure it will happen.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 6,903
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Cake Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR ZEKE! - 07-21-2017, 02:34 PM

My beloved Pastor Zeke!

I would apologize for being so late, except that it was you who ordered me to go save some stupid savage souls in the Amazon jungle.


Anyway. I'm bringing back all the packages that you requested, and here is your belated birthday cake:


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2016 all rights reserved