[Pastor Ezekiel]

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighbor? Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighbor? Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

According to the parable of the good Samaritan, "neighbor" isn't defined by geography.

[G-Baby]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You are obviously looking at some false Bible, edited by some eurotrash heathen and passed off as authentic to ignorant foreign scum such as yourself. True Christians™ use the one true Bible; the KJV 1611 Authorized Version.

Matthew 22:36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
22:38 This is the first and great commandment.
22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
22:40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Those sentences are common to those in my bible. I just spelled the sentences wrong, like I said I could do.

Do you "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" you insufferable fool? Of course not. You are here to spit on Jesus and persecute His chosen.
As far as I know, I didn't spit on Jesus. It would be kind a low to spit on a dead men...
Yes, I'm the great plague!!! :p

Now, do me a favor and run outside your hovel or shack or whatever you call home and see if I'm living next door to you. See if even one True Christian™ lives anywhere near you. Go ahead, I'll wait......
Yes, there are But they aren't as radical and as rude as you are.

Okay, what did you see? Am I your neighboUr? (I see you don't speek proper american either... ) Of course not. You don't even speak American. I would never live anywhere near the cesspool you call home, nor would any self-respecting Christian. You see, Jesus was speaking to His followers about THEIR neighbors. The neighbors of Christians are OTHER Christians. Jesus certainly wasn't advocating for Christians to love heathen scum and homers like you. Surely you aren't THAT thick?
You're missing the point here. A fellow human doesn't have to be a NEIGHBOUR.


You have rejected Jesus and instead worship satan. Here is what Jesus has to say about you:

Luke 19:27 But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Any more questions, homer?

Doh!?

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by G-Baby

You're missing the point here. A fellow human doesn't have to be a NEIGHBOUR.

No friend, like the false Christian you are you are taking your words and claiming they are Christ's. What Jesus really is saying we should not associate with the unsaved, live in our own communities and love each other in those communities. Frankly I find hypocrites like you just disgusting; you accuse us TRUE Christians of deceiving people about God and then promptly go off and spew out false scripture. You will have to answer to God Himself in the hereafter for your lies G-Baby.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

According to the parable of the good Samaritan, "neighbor" isn't defined by geography.

Quite correct. It isn't defined by geography, it is defined by shared values. We have no shared values with militant sodomites like your husband or Islamist dogs like this G-Had Baby, so you are not our neighbours.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Quite correct. It isn't defined by geography, it is defined by shared values. We have no shared values with militant sodomites like your husband or Islamist dogs like this G-Had Baby, so you are not our neighbours.

And yet, if I found you hurt and bleeding on the side of the road, I would not inquire as to your beliefs, or even your name. I would simply begin administering first aid.

You, on the other hand, apparently would not cross the street to urinate on me if I was on fire unless I was a TC.

You're right. We don't have the same values.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

And yet, if I found you hurt and bleeding on the side of the road, I would not inquire as to your beliefs, or even your name. I would simply begin administering first aid.

You, on the other hand, apparently would not cross the street to urinate on me if I was on fire unless I was a TC.

You're right. We don't have the same values.

What is wrong with you, woman? What are we doing here? Trying to get you to give us your money. And why are we doing this? Because we love you, and know that it is a necessary prerequisite for you to get into Heaven. The reason we're putting so much time and effort into ministering to you is because we don't want you to spend eternity burning in Hell while Satan urinates sulfurous gasoline up your nostrils.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

What is wrong with you, woman? What are we doing here? Trying to get you to give us your money. And why are we doing this? Because we love you, and know that it is a necessary prerequisite for you to get into Heaven. The reason we're putting so much time and effort into ministering to you is because we don't want you to spend eternity burning in Hell while Satan urinates sulfurous gasoline up your nostrils.

If money is needed to get you into heaven, then heaven is no different from anything else where you buy an admission ticket. I'd rather spend my money on a ticket to Disneyworld.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

If money is needed to get you into heaven, then heaven is no different from anything else where you buy an admission ticket. I'd rather spend my money on a ticket to Disneyworld.

Does Disneyworld give you a money back guarantee like Landover does?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Does Disneyworld give you a money back guarantee like Landover does?

Tell me this - if I gave money to Landover and bought your salvation package, and then went to hell after I died, how exactly would I go about getting my money back?

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

Tell me this - if I gave money to Landover and bought your salvation package, and then went to hell after I died, how exactly would I go about getting my money back?

You would applie to the Church Office for a refund, they would then confirm your denial of Salvation with The Almighty and your account would be refunded.

You see, we all ready have that covered.

I would like to add that in the 385 years Landover has been ministering to the world we have never been asked to give a refund to one of our members.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

You would applie to the Church Office for a refund, they would then confirm your denial of Salvation with The Almighty and your account would be refunded.

You see, we all ready have that covered.

I would like to add that in the 385 years Landover has been ministering to the world we have never been asked to give a refund to one of our members.

And how would a dead person file an application for a refund?
And how would LBC gain access to the Almighty's Big Book of Who's Who in Heaven?

[Deaner]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

And how would a dead person file an application for a refund?
And how would LBC gain access to the Almighty's Big Book of Who's Who in Heaven?

With Jesus all things are possible. That's the single most thing you seem to have difficulty understanding.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Deaner

With Jesus all things are possible. That's the single most thing you seem to have difficulty understanding.

I think I'll just go ahead and buy that ticket to Disneyworld.

[G-Baby]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

I think I'll just go ahead and buy that ticket to Disneyworld.

Yeah, I would do the same...
There is no chance that either God or Satan will urinate on me They aren't there xD

And how does anybody of LBC knows that if you die and go to hell you can go to heaven by just buying a Salvation Pack. Did anybody came back to tell it to you? So who is the one who believes in zombies and undead people...

[WickedWitch]

You know, I once, rather subtly, suggested that LBC might be a cult; waaay back when I was You Disgust Me. I listed all the warning signs one sees in a cult, and then someone said something that to this very day still makes me laugh: "You're right Alie! The Democratic Party is a CULT! And Ted Kennedy is poised, like a drunken walrus on roller skates, ready to lead us into Armageddon!"

*Sighs* I love OEJ.

What was the purpose of this post?? *Shrugs* Oh well, it's here now.

[Deaner]

Originally Posted by G-Baby

And how does anybody of LBC knows that if you die and go to hell you can go to heaven by just buying a Salvation Pack.

Retard. Do you have any confirmed reports of when it didn't work?

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Undecided

You know, I once, rather subtly, suggested that LBC might be a cult; waaay back when I was You Disgust Me. I listed all the warning signs one sees in a cult, and then someone said something that to this very day still makes me laugh: "You're right Alie! The Democratic Party is a CULT! And Ted Kennedy is poised, like a drunken walrus on roller skates, ready to lead us into Armageddon!"

*Sighs* I love OEJ.

What was the purpose of this post?? *Shrugs* Oh well, it's here now.

So you back to reclaim the soul of Aethereal/Denis? He claims to have escaped your spell and turned to Christianity, but no one belives him so I expect we will find the dried husk of his body soon.

[G-Baby]

Originally Posted by Deaner

Retard. Do you have any confirmed reports of when it didn't work?

Why are you ignoring my question?
Yes, you know why? Because there is no heaven and there is no hell. So nobody could go to hell and then pay off his "crimes" to go to heaven, because those things don't exist. If you would think critically, you would know that too.

[WickedWitch]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

So you back to reclaim the soul of Aethereal/Denis? I don't deal in souls. I'm much more interested in the bodies that house them. *Winks* He claims to have escaped your spell and turned to Christianity, but no one belives him so I expect we will find the dried husk of his body soon.

Are you implying that I'm a soul-sucker? I don't appreciate that, you know. And it's just not true; I don't suck souls... And besides, I wouldn't hurt dear Daniel, he's one of my own now.