General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
|
|
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
|
|
Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-09-2017, 08:52 PM
Hello.
According to all known laws of aviation, when you die, you will either go heaven or hell. You will meet those who are live godly life, or are condemned. That said, who are you most looking forward to meet in Heaven/Hell? Besides Jesus/Satan, obviously.
Here are some people I am looking forward to meeting, Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il are not on the list because for I have already met them:
Abraham Lincoln
Albert Einstein
Clement Attlee
Anne Frank
Friedrich Nietzsche
Alan Turing
Nye Bevan
Eugene V. Debs
Tony Benn
Martin Luther King
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,343
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-10-2017, 11:38 PM
Young man, in heaven, there are no earthly standards of honor. If one is bathed in the Blood of the Lamb one is permitted there regardless of what one did or who one was in life.
No one will be impressed if someone was a president or a king.
And hell is not precisely a social club, either. Serial killers won't be admired celebrities and Albert Schweitzer will suffer horribly along side Jack the Ripper (whoever he may have been) and they won't be trading autographs.
Remember the only thing that matters is whether one accepts the Saving Grace of God offered through the Sacrificial Death of Jesus. By that standard, Anne Frank is very likely in hell if she persisted in denying Jesus as Lord up until the moment of her death in a concentration camp and Adolph Hitler could very well be in heaven if he asked for God's forgiveness and accepted the provision made for his sins when Jesus suffered on the cross-- even if it were only a millisecond before his death.
We don't know and it is not our place to make such determinations. It is mere human measurement which decides that plus or minus 10 million deaths is a greater sin than being a Jew who refuses to believe in Jesus as Messiah, God and Son of God.
Both sins are equally foul before the Lord God, who made the decision to condemn all of humanity yet to be born simply because Eve just had to have a bite of fruit from that one tree. She could have noshed chowed down on any other fruit from any other tree in the garden, but noooo, a talking snake puts a little bug in her ear and it's bleep you, Holy Perfect God who gave me everything and that was it for humanity.
Honestly, just thinking about it, it's a wonder they even let women into heaven. Nasty creatures.
So, to answer your pointless question, there is no one whom I'm particularly looking forward to meeting in heaven. It may be a bit of a laugh to see the expressions on the faces of the many fools in hell who were so certain they were going to heaven based on their ability to memorize three or four verses from the Bible at the exclusion of all its other warnings, wisdom and requirements.
Unquestioningly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-11-2017, 03:53 AM
|
|
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
|
|
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-11-2017, 07:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
|
Because for Attlee and Benn were glorious socialists, whereas Thatcher and Reagan were capitalist liberals who ruined their countries.
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-11-2017, 11:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Honestly, just thinking about it, it's a wonder they even let women into heaven. Nasty creatures.
Handmaiden
|
Sister, I prayed about this and have come to the conclusion that someone has to prepare meals and clean the streets of gold. In fact, the LORD GOD spake unto me while I was in my prayer closet and said, "I'm not a showboat; I am not going to just snap my holy fingers and voila, a bag of Bugles or a pepperoni pizza appears."
I hope that brings some insight into why, despite their many shortcomings, the weaker s-e-x will be permitted to thrive in that better land, our forever home where we shall praise GOD all day every day without ceasing. What a thrilling itinerary is in store for the children of the King.
I would imagine Julia Child will be in charge of the kitchen, by the way.
COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry
PS: Your comment about not swapping autographs made me a little sad since I was hoping to get a signed football from Peyton Manning. I am going to seek God's response to that, too.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
|
|
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-11-2017, 04:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
I would imagine Julia Child will be in charge of the kitchen, by the way.
|
Was she True Christian?
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
|
|
Possibly retarded pothead
|
|
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-12-2017, 01:35 AM
I have heard it said that in the white man's heaven the French are the chefs and the Germans are the administrators and the English are the police. In the white mans hell the French are the administrators and the Germans are the police and the English are the chefs. Do you think that is true?
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,343
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-12-2017, 01:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
I have heard it said that in the white man's heaven the French are the chefs and the Germans are the administrators and the English are the police. In the white mans hell the French are the administrators and the Germans are the police and the English are the chefs. Do you think that is true?
|
The joke goes this way:
In Heaven the police are English, the chefs are French, the engineers are German, the lovers are Italian and the organizers are Swiss.
In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are English, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.
If you're going to blaspheme the Truth™ with a silly joke, at least get it right.
Exactingly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-12-2017, 06:17 AM
Well, I pity all the poor souls in Hell who never were blessed to understand the full truth of the Bible, or for us women, to have a husband to dictate it to us in simple terms. To be in eternity, being tortured by Satan and without God must be horrid fate, which is why I'm proud to be Baptist and married (once upon a time) and a mother!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-12-2017, 11:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Well, I pity all the poor souls in Hell who never were blessed to understand the full truth of the Bible, or for us women, to have a husband to dictate it to us in simple terms. To be in eternity, being tortured by Satan and without God must be horrid fate, which is why I'm proud to be Baptist and married (once upon a time) and a mother!
|
God is very clear, being a mother is the important thing. There are other requirements too.
I TIMOTHY 2 . KJV . look up
13a Adam was first formed
13b then Eve.
14a And Adam was not deceived
14b but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15a Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing Being deceived is so gross a sin that progeny even beyond the 4th and 10th generations are blasted. Blasted to hell in perpetuity. Which means until God finally enacts His solution and kills everyone except those who have accepted Jesus. And their wives. But notice that just having children is simply the first step. Say you have eight children but then get on the stout and benedictine submarine cocktails. Whooooops! Or accompany your friend in old age to mass well you'd have blown it.
15a if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. That's an important if. The deaconess will be able to discuss what happens if your owner converts to Zen or cannibalism or other religion of that type.
|
|
Possibly retarded pothead
|
|
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-13-2017, 04:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
The joke goes this way:
In Heaven the police are English, the chefs are French, the engineers are German, the lovers are Italian and the organizers are Swiss.
In Hell, the police are German, the chefs are English, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss and the organizers are Italian.
If you're going to blaspheme the Truth™ with a silly joke, at least get it right.
Exactingly Yours,
Handmaiden
|
I am sorry Sistren because that is not the way I heard the story. Also I don't think they would let Italians into the white mans heaven.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,343
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-13-2017, 05:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
I am sorry Sistren because that is not the way I heard the story. Also I don't think they would let Italians into the white mans heaven.
|
Italians get there the same way that everyone else does--by being bathed in the Blood of the Lamb and becoming white as snow.
Why are you so racist towards the olive-skinned? Jesus died so that every equally sinful human being could get into heaven. As an ex-Eyetalian, I am deeply offended by your racial insensitivity.
Triggeredly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
|
|
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-13-2017, 08:08 AM
In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.
In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-18-2017, 10:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un
In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.
|
I was not aware that Luddites were engineers.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,343
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-19-2017, 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un
In an Heavenly surrounding, the police are Korean, the chefs are Korean, the engineers are Korean, the lovers are Korean and the organizers are the Workers' Party of Korea.
In an Hellish surrounding, the police are the brutal western police, the chefs are western McDonalds imperialists, the engineers are western luddite fools, the lovers are western perverts and the organizers are the bourgeoisie.
|
In Dog Hell (if such a place existed) is where the chefs are Korean. . . And presumably the police are cats.
Hypothetically Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-21-2017, 01:40 AM
ECCLESIASTES 3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
context .. kjv
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
In Dog Hell (if such a place existed) is where the chefs are Korean. . . And presumably the police are cats.
|
So cat hell must have Vietnamese running around everywhere and the community organizers are all
|
|
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
|
|
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
|
|
Re: Who are you looking forward to meeting in Heaven/Hell? -
01-23-2017, 08:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
In Dog Hell (if such a place existed) is where the chefs are Korean. . . And presumably the police are cats.
Hypothetically Yours,
Handmaiden
|
Ha! I love it!!
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|