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Default How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-22-2012, 11:47 PM

How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!!
No doubt your mood has been destroyed by something called "Gangnam Style". The filthy porn movie Obama used to seduce innocent young people into voting Him into raping America for four more years. After breaking two Bibles on my wive's head for failing to prevent this disaster from happening, it occurred to me we need a different approach here.

The problem, I realized, is that our youth no longer knows what God is about. Decades of relentless lies by fluffy bunny Christians ignoring 99% of the Holy Bible have completely corrupted God's image. Instead of the relentless killer of those who disobey or annoy Him True Christians™ know Him to be, many people nowadays believe Christ was a gentle gay vegetarian lover of everyone spending all his time handing out flowers and paying insanely high taxes to fund Obamacare. This false image has to be corrected!

1st Peter 2:13-17 and Romans 13:1-7 command us to obey secular laws. With Obama refusing to implement Biblical law in America, this means our youth does not get to see America the way God intended it in His Holy Bible! What would America look like if Obama would have lost the elections and a True Christian™ would implement Biblical law in America!? Godly laws instead of all the liberal nonsense laws we have nowadays that are only useful to wipe your behind with. Laws that make Jesus puke each and every day. Laws that are not even close to God's Holy commandments. Laws that have made America weak and our enemies strong. Laws that have sent our jobs to those Chinese cheaters.

Which ADULTS we are allowed to KILL ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Gays (Leviticus 20:13)
  • Sluts (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
  • Weather forecasters (Leviticus 20:27)
  • Sex maniacs, a.k.a. democrats (Leviticus 20:10, Leviticus 21:9)
  • People who refuse to listen to their Pastor (Deuteronomy 17:12)
  • Everyone who isn't a True Christian™ (Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Zechariah 13:3, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, Deuteronomy 17:2-5)
No more annoying weather forecasters - BIBLE STYLE:


Which CHILDREN we are allowed to KILL ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Annoying children (2 Kings 2:23-24)
  • Curious children (1 Samuel 6:19-20)
  • Children who hit their parents (Exodus 21:15)
  • Every child whose parents have sinned, ever (Isaiah 14:21)
  • Children who curse at their parents (Proverbs 20:20, Leviticus 20:9)
No more annoying children - BIBLE STYLE:


HOW Can We Kill Them ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Stone them to death (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
  • Burn them to death (1 Kings 18:36-40)
  • First stone them near death, then burn them to death (Joshua 7:19-26) - BIBLE STYLE COMBO !!!
  • Rape them, then stab them with a knife (Isaiah 13:15-18)
  • For the children, have them eaten by wild animals (Leviticus 26:21-22)
  • Throw them from large buildings (Jeremiah 51:20-26)
Stoning people to death would become fact, not fiction - BIBLE STYLE:


Our Future - BIBLE STYLE !!!

I am certain once our youth realizes that Biblical law would legally allow them to go on a killing spree - BIBLE STYLE - and allow them to rape and kill anyone who annoys God, they will never vote for a traitor like Obama again. Instead of wasting time on science, they would spend time killing scientists (Leviticus 20:27). Instead of having gays getting married, gays would be getting stoned to death (Leviticus 20:13). America would become a safe and prosperous place for our children once more! Our enemies would fear us and then we would kill them. All of them! Leaving only True Christians™ to enjoy the planet God made for us and for no one else. I cannot wait for this paradise to become a reality!

Killing ALL our enemies - BIBLE STYLE:


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-23-2012, 12:14 AM

Would all those telesales people be on the list?


I Jesus!
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Matthew Hopkins Matthew Hopkins is offline
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-23-2012, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity View Post
Would all those telesales people be on the list?
I do fervently hope so, Felicity. I praise Jesus for Brother Cranky's timely reminder of our True Christian™ duty in these End Times. Too long has the minority of God fearing Christians been pushed around by Ospewma's gay radical minions, constantly bewildering honest folks by their double talk and lies. Why I get taken in by them I do not know!

Small children, also, I have always found to be noisy, leaking brutes. That is why the first, second, third and fourth Mrs Hopkins's were provided with a generous quarters. The Hopkins tradition is for the father to greet his offspring when they come of age.

That's the boys, of course. My daughters have never formally received their father, although they all know who is daddy, naturally.

Tell me, Felicity, who else would be on your list? I know that methodists figure heavily on mine. Perhaps your father and I could exchange views on the subject? Amongst other things.

YBIC
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-23-2012, 07:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
  • First stone them near death, then burn them to death (Joshua 7:19-26) - BIBLE STYLE COMBO !!!
Thankyou so much Cranky Old Man! You just made my day.


Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-23-2012, 03:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holyfield View Post
[/LIST]Thank you so much Cranky Old Man! You just made my day.
I am glad to hear that.

I am trying to show how great life would be when America chooses the Holy Bible as final law and authority instead of all those silly communist gay laws Obama gave us.

I do it in a way that appeals to our youth as they are the ones who have to start voting for strong Bible obeying Christians to save America from certain doom. I have sent a few letters to Christian music stars requesting them to make a catchy video clip for all this, but I have not yet received an answer. I am sure one is in the mail though as every Christian will instantly understand how important all this is.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-24-2012, 04:59 PM

I bet the feminists now searching for the part that allows abortion.
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-24-2012, 05:12 PM

I thought there was commandment
You shall not kill
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 11-24-2012, 05:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissEve View Post
I thought there was commandment
You shall not kill
You "thought" there was a Commandment that said that?



Did you read the Bible verses that Mr. Cranky provided? The ones that he so painstakingly researched, listed and annotated for you? Did you cross-check those against the Bible in your hands?

Yours in Christ,

Zech


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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 08:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!!
No doubt your mood has been destroyed by something called "Gangnam Style". The filthy porn movie Obama used to seduce innocent young people into voting Him into raping America for four more years. After breaking two Bibles on my wive's head for failing to prevent this disaster from happening, it occurred to me we need a different approach here.

The problem, I realized, is that our youth no longer knows what God is about. Decades of relentless lies by fluffy bunny Christians ignoring 99% of the Holy Bible have completely corrupted God's image. Instead of the relentless killer of those who disobey or annoy Him True Christians™ know Him to be, many people nowadays believe Christ was a gentle gay vegetarian lover of everyone spending all his time handing out flowers and paying insanely high taxes to fund Obamacare. This false image has to be corrected!

1st Peter 2:13-17 and Romans 13:1-7 command us to obey secular laws. With Obama refusing to implement Biblical law in America, this means our youth does not get to see America the way God intended it in His Holy Bible! What would America look like if Obama would have lost the elections and a True Christian™ would implement Biblical law in America!? Godly laws instead of all the liberal nonsense laws we have nowadays that are only useful to wipe your behind with. Laws that make Jesus puke each and every day. Laws that are not even close to God's Holy commandments. Laws that have made America weak and our enemies strong. Laws that have sent our jobs to those Chinese cheaters.

Which ADULTS we are allowed to KILL ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Gays (Leviticus 20:13)
  • Sluts (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
  • Weather forecasters (Leviticus 20:27)
  • Sex maniacs, a.k.a. democrats (Leviticus 20:10, Leviticus 21:9)
  • People who refuse to listen to their Pastor (Deuteronomy 17:12)
  • Everyone who isn't a True Christian™ (Exodus 22:19, 2 Chronicles 15:12-13, Zechariah 13:3, Deuteronomy 13:7-12, Deuteronomy 17:2-5)
No more annoying weather forecasters - BIBLE STYLE:


Which CHILDREN we are allowed to KILL ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Annoying children (2 Kings 2:23-24)
  • Curious children (1 Samuel 6:19-20)
  • Children who hit their parents (Exodus 21:15)
  • Every child whose parents have sinned, ever (Isaiah 14:21)
  • Children who curse at their parents (Proverbs 20:20, Leviticus 20:9)
No more annoying children - BIBLE STYLE:


HOW Can We Kill Them ??? - BIBLE STYLE !!!
  • Stone them to death (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)
  • Burn them to death (1 Kings 18:36-40)
  • First stone them near death, then burn them to death (Joshua 7:19-26) - BIBLE STYLE COMBO !!!
  • Rape them, then stab them with a knife (Isaiah 13:15-18)
  • For the children, have them eaten by wild animals (Leviticus 26:21-22)
  • Throw them from large buildings (Jeremiah 51:20-26)
Stoning people to death would become fact, not fiction - BIBLE STYLE:


Our Future - BIBLE STYLE !!!

I am certain once our youth realizes that Biblical law would legally allow them to go on a killing spree - BIBLE STYLE - and allow them to rape and kill anyone who annoys God, they will never vote for a traitor like Obama again. Instead of wasting time on science, they would spend time killing scientists (Leviticus 20:27). Instead of having gays getting married, gays would be getting stoned to death (Leviticus 20:13). America would become a safe and prosperous place for our children once more! Our enemies would fear us and then we would kill them. All of them! Leaving only True Christians™ to enjoy the planet God made for us and for no one else. I cannot wait for this paradise to become a reality!

Killing ALL our enemies - BIBLE STYLE:

I sincerely hope this post is sarcastic! Please tell me it is sarcasm unless you want to mislead an innocent unsuspecting internet surfer into believing it is indeed justified to kill the above mentioned kind of people!
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 08:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomGuyGoogling View Post
I sincerely hope this post is sarcastic! Please tell me it is sarcasm unless you want to mislead an innocent unsuspecting internet surfer into believing it is indeed justified to kill the above mentioned kind of people!
Hi, and welcome to our friendly forums!

Friend, when it comes to reading and following the Holy Bible, we are indeed 100% dead-serious!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 09:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Every child whose parents have sinned, ever (Isaiah 14:21)
Children who curse at their parents (Proverbs 20:20, Leviticus 20:9)
Doesn't that mean you should kill you children as you have sinned? Did you people kill?
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 09:15 AM

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Originally Posted by RandomGuyGoogling View Post
Doesn't that mean you should kill you children as you have sinned? Did you people kill?
I am a True Christian™ so I am free of sin! Don't believe me? Read 1st John 1:7, Revelation 1:5 and 1st John 3:9!

As always the truth is in the Bible. Your politically correct liberal nonsense is irrelevant.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 06:14 PM

Hebrews 4:14. Jesus is the only one free from sin. Are you saying that you are Jesus?

also "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us." (1 John 1:8-9 RSV)

Nobody is free from sin. If you are a true Christian you must either obey God's every word or reject it and go further in sin. Which one are you choosing?
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-08-2012, 07:11 PM

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Originally Posted by aUniversityStudent View Post
Hebrews 4:14. Jesus is the only one free from sin. Are you saying that you are Jesus?

also "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us." (1 John 1:8-9 RSV)

Nobody is free from sin. If you are a true Christian you must either obey God's every word or reject it and go further in sin. Which one are you choosing?
Maybe instead of trying to Google your way to Salvation, you should read the Bible verses that Mr. Cranky so graciously provided for you.



YiC,

Zech


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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 05:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aUniversityStudent View Post

Nobody is free from sin. If you are a true Christian you must either obey God's every word or reject it and go further in sin. Which one are you choosing?
Wrong again, godmocker. He who abides in Jesus Christ is made sinfree (as 1 John 3:5-9 says). Glory!


Quote:
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

1 John 3:6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.

Revelation 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 09:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aUniversityStudent View Post
Hebrews 4:14. Jesus is the only one free from sin. Are you saying that you are Jesus?

also "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us." (1 John 1:8-9 RSV)

Nobody is free from sin. If you are a true Christian you must either obey God's every word or reject it and go further in sin. Which one are you choosing?
For a "University Student" you're not exactly the brightest lamp in the box are you? Learn how to read child, it might just stop you makining a fool of yourself. I am referring to your post, above, in order not to confuse you with too many references to sin. In the post quoted above please look at the part I have underlined and made bold. Does that answer your question about being free from sin? This is called putting things in context.
Don't try to put your own spin on the Bible as you will just make an ass of yourself. Read the Word and Live by the Word, that is all that God asks of us.


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 10:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I am a True Christian™ so I am free of sin! Don't believe me? Read 1st John 1:7, Revelation 1:5 and 1st John 3:9!

As always the truth is in the Bible. Your politically correct liberal nonsense is irrelevant.
Ok apart from killing the children of sinners, what about the other killings? -
Gays, sluts, annoying children, curious children, everyone who isn't a true christian.
If you are a true christian then you should kill these people right? Have you killed them? Why not?
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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 10:25 PM

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Originally Posted by RandomGuyGoogling View Post
Ok apart from killing the children of sinners, what about the other killings? -
Gays, sluts, annoying children, curious children, everyone who isn't a true christian.
If you are a true christian then you should kill these people right? Have you killed them? Why not?
Bust out your Google-Fu and read Romans 13.


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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandomGuyGoogling View Post
Ok apart from killing the children of sinners, what about the other killings? -
Gays, sluts, annoying children, curious children, everyone who isn't a true christian.
If you are a true christian then you should kill these people right? Have you killed them? Why not?
God wants us to obey secular laws.

1st Peter 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1st Peter 2:14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
1st Peter 2:15 For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

He wants us to institute the death penalty for homers, adulterers, disobedient children, and unbelievers. This way they can be killed without breaking the law.

And that is why we all vote Republican.


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Default Re: How to Kill All Annoying People - BIBLE STYLE !!! - 12-09-2012, 10:30 PM

Secular Law can be a major pain in the butt; nobody can deny that.

But we can still shun people; making their friends, children and loved ones completely ignored.

Of course this causes the individual to go into a deep depression and they will eventually kill themselves.

Sometiimes you just gotta think the loving way Christ would.
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