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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-04-2007, 01:20 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So you actually wish death on our Godly vice president? So noted.
Just make sure that at least that gets written onto my DOF file without errors this time, alrighty?


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-04-2007, 01:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Jonathan H. Dona

I much prefer a rod made of steel or iron. My favorite was this steel rod, maybe a meter long and 5 inches thick. After using that on my children they'd be sure to never commit such sin again because the power of Jesus had broken all of their fingers. Now their fingers are healed and they're praising the Lord! Praise Jesus and His power to stop sin!
Ooooooh sure, the power of Jesus did it

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Upstairs his son worried that his friends at school would label his father a loon.
Well, duh!

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You must love Jesus a whole lot to practice with a club like that Sister Talitha.
But of course! ... that must be because the gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister is so talented in all things of Jesus

... hmmm ...


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-04-2007, 11:00 AM

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Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It View Post
You know what'd be really poetic justice? If Dick gets mauled by an animal, or "accidentally" shot by a fellow hunter on his next trip. I'd just sit back in my chair and laugh. Oh, and shortly afterwards post here and say "Told ya so".
You know what would be just poetic? If, when he finishes his term in 2016, Dick Cheney wrote a novel in collaboration with his good buddy Lewis Libby. A combination of Libby's wonderful imagination with Dick Cheney's masterful command of the English language and personal, first-hand experience of dead animals - I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-04-2007, 12:38 PM

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I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it.
Yeah, so I can imagine...


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-05-2007, 03:02 PM

Just FYI, speaking of Free Paddles...

I hear there is a man who lives in a trailer down by the river that offers to give young boys free paddles, as in a corrective spanking. While I'm sure most parents in Freehold applaud his enthusiam, I think they should probably keep these matters within the family.
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 07-05-2007, 03:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
Just FYI, speaking of Free Paddles...

I hear there is a man who lives in a trailer down by the river that offers to give young boys free paddles, as in a corrective spanking. While I'm sure most parents in Freehold applaud his enthusiam, I think they should probably keep these matters within the family.
Well now, you're probably right Brother Worthington. Although, from what I hear, they all call him Uncle and he is a very Christian man too. Seen him in Church on many-a-Sunday.
He has a Video lending Library too.



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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 04:43 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So you actually wish death on our Godly vice president? So noted.

By the way; The Honourable Dick Cheney is protected by Jesus Himself. You, being a tool of satan, are infinitely more likely to be killed in an unfortunate gun accident. Any day now.

Praise Jesus.
First I agree that it's wrong to wish death on anybody, no matter how bad you think the things they've done are (and everybody has different opinions on people). However, I would like to question you about something. "Dich Cheney is protected by Jesus Himself" and "You...a tool of satan". Is it the practice of the members of this website to make decisions for God? As I doubt you are in direct contact with satan or Jesus, I don't see how you could dare to say that one man is protected by the Christ and another is the tool of satan. I am not meaning to bash on you. I am merely pointing out that I think it's appallingly unChristian and horrifyingly self-absorbed for any person to believe that they know what the Almighty, the Christ, or satan think or believe of any one person. We humans are not allowed to make judgements for ourselves on these subjects. To do so is to assume that we are as intelligent as God Himself. Even with resources such as the Bible to tell us what is right or wrong, we should never make assumptions ourselves as to the salvation of another human being. "Judge not lest ye be judged" and "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" seem to be saying that we should never accuse another of being damned. If they are, then so be it. It's not our business. Let them continue on their path (unless you feel like offering a helping hand and trying to point them in the correct direction) and you continue on your path. To outright say that another is damned, aside from being presumtious, is immensely egotistical. I'm certain that God does not want his people to be egotistical. Aren't there stories against that in the Bible?
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 05:18 AM

First of all. I want to remove the children of all of you who beat them and make sure they live in a good loving home. Second of all, im amazed that they havnt run away from you yet. If my parents broke my fingers with a golf club, i would have the cops on them in a matter or seconds. Any parent that dose that to their child need to rot in jail. Hurting an innocent child...


Open your mind and heart
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 07:41 AM

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Originally Posted by Rayviathae View Post
I'm certain that God does not want his people to be egotistical. Aren't there stories against that in the Bible?
If you read it you would know. As it is, you merely presume to know what the Bible says but actually have no clue.

Our requirement as Christians to judge others:

Leviticus 19:15 In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

1 Corinthians 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?.

Children in the Bible:

Children who refuse to obey their parents must be executed. If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. -- Deuteronomy 21:18-21

He that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. --Exodus 21:15

He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death. -- Exodus 21:17

Children who mock their parents will have their eyes plucked out by ravens and eaten by eagles. The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. -- Proverbs 30:17

Like Abraham, parents should be willing to kill their children for God.

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and ... offer him there for a burnt offering.... And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son. -- Genesis 22:2,10

God killed all the firstborn children in an entire country. The LORD smote all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh that sat on his throne unto the firstborn of the captive that was in the dungeon.... And there was a great cry in Egypt; for there was not a house where there was not one dead. -- Exodus 12:29-30

Sometimes God kills children for misbehaving.

And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them. -- 2 Kings 2:23-24

Someday God will force parents eat their own children.

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. -- Leviticus 26:16

And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. -- Leviticus 26:29

And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. -- Deuteronomy 28:53

And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. -- Jeremiah 19:9

And children out of wedlock are bastards and must be killed.

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. -- Psalm 137:9


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 12:15 PM

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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
First of all. I want to remove the children of all of you who beat them and make sure they live in a good loving home. Second of all, im amazed that they havnt run away from you yet. If my parents broke my fingers with a golf club, i would have the cops on them in a matter or seconds. Any parent that dose that to their child need to rot in jail. Hurting an innocent child...
Wouldn't you take the keys away from a friend who was drunk and about to drive home? The Holy Bible clearly states that beating children is the only Godly way to keep them on the Path to Salvation© and prevent their descent into hellfire.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. -- Proverbs 13:24

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. -- Proverbs 22:15

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayviathae View Post
First I agree that it's wrong to wish death on anybody, no matter how bad you think the things they've done are (and everybody has different opinions on people). However, I would like to question you about something. "Dich Cheney is protected by Jesus Himself" and "You...a tool of satan". Is it the practice of the members of this website to make decisions for God? As I doubt you are in direct contact with satan or Jesus, I don't see how you could dare to say that one man is protected by the Christ and another is the tool of satan.
In the Bible, Jesus clearly states that He protects His followers, and that all others are of Satan. Dick Cheney is a Christian who follows Christ's commands, and the tool you're defending is under the influence of the Antichrist. What's so difficult to understand about that?
Quote:
"Judge not lest ye be judged" and "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" seem to be saying that we should never accuse another of being damned.
And you seem to be saying that you've never read the Bible. Let's go through this step-by-step, shall we?
1) Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
2) Christ's blood washes us free from sin.
3) We are without sin, therefore we may judge others.
Quote:
If they are, then so be it. It's not our business. Let them continue on their path (unless you feel like offering a helping hand and trying to point them in the correct direction...
Friend, you have just summed up exactly what we here at Landover are all about. But how are we supposed to point people in the correct direction without telling them that they're going in the wrong direction first?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
First of all. I want to remove the children of all of you who beat them and make sure they live in a good loving home.
Why? Are you worried they might grow up with the gender identities that GOD wants them to have? Your parents didn't beat you enough; you turned out to be a sissyboy; Q.E.D.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 03:51 PM

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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
First of all. I want to remove the children of all of you who beat them and make sure they live in a good loving home. Second of all, im amazed that they havnt run away from you yet. If my parents broke my fingers with a golf club, i would have the cops on them in a matter or seconds. Any parent that dose that to their child need to rot in jail. Hurting an innocent child...
First of all, I think your writing skills might improve is someone broke your fingers. And secondly, the way you want to spoil children should result in your own imprisonment; you do have to accept responsibility for your spoiled juvenile delinquents, after all.


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 04:34 PM

One, sorry it was late at night and i was fairly angry at this thread, so i didn't really care a whole lot about my spelling.
Secondly, no i wasn't beaten by my parents, but they were not the most amazing parents ever. And why would a child grow up to be bad, if all they got was loving acceptance and real caring from their mom and dad. I've never in my life met a bad kid with a good home life. Ever. And im around 1000+ kids for 9 months out of the year. I end up meeting a lot of different ones.


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-11-2007, 08:07 PM

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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
One, sorry it was late at night and i was fairly angry at this thread, so i didn't really care a whole lot about my spelling.
Secondly, no i wasn't beaten by my parents, but they were not the most amazing parents ever. And why would a child grow up to be bad, if all they got was loving acceptance and real caring from their mom and dad. I've never in my life met a bad kid with a good home life. Ever. And im around 1000+ kids for 9 months out of the year. I end up meeting a lot of different ones.
Friend,

Why do good kids come from good families? Because the parents love their children and beat the child to an inch of their lives when the child is bad. Only threw the tears, bruises, cuts and broken fingers can a child can learn to rise above the child's selfishness and love those around them and Jesus.



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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 12:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Friend,

Why do good kids come from good families? Because the parents love their children and beat the child to an inch of their lives when the child is bad. Only threw the tears, bruises, cuts and broken fingers can a child can learn to rise above the child's selfishness and love those around them and Jesus.
Praise Jesus, someone else is as versed in the beautiful book of Proverbs!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prov 23:13
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thank goodness -- the Bible here is, of course, speaking of his eternal soul. Death on earth is but a minor consequence of rebuking, in unfortunate cases.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prov 22:15
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
And, goodness knows, it takes a healthy smack to loosen that bit of evil! Goodness knows, when I was a child I took many a healthy beating from my parents! In fact, even today it is my preferred form of punishment when a pastor needs to rebuke me for having strayed too far with my science and begin to wonder about certain "evidence" or "lack thereof".


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 01:10 AM

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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
First of all. I want to remove the children of all of you who beat them and make sure they live in a good loving home. Second of all, im amazed that they havnt run away from you yet. If my parents broke my fingers with a golf club, i would have the cops on them in a matter or seconds. Any parent that dose that to their child need to rot in jail. Hurting an innocent child...
Sweetheart, I'm with you all the way. The problem is that because these children have been raised to believe that they're evil and their parents are right and they must be beaten or they'll burn in eternal hellfire, they're terrified of death. They believe that they must do whatever their parents say and accept any beatings otherwise they'll live through a worse hell after their death. If your parents broke your fingers with a golf club, but you believed you would burn for eternity after death if you tried to get away from them...you'd take the broken fingers over the burning. Even if you were able to get these children to safety, there's a lot of brainwashing you'd have to undo, and it might not be completely feasable.

The best thing we can do for these children is pray for them (of course you could also show this website to a police officer and see if they can do anything but that's totally up to you and may or may not do any good). It's sad, but true. Tell you what, we'll pray together. I recently read something that says prayer in the form of a demand "Make these children safe" rather than a question "Will you please make these children safe" is best, because rather than asking someone to do something, you're assuring the ethers that you know the person can do something. Twas rather confusing but basically if you word it as if you know it will happen "Give us this day our daily bread" was the example used in the thing I read it's more likely to happen. I guess there was a scientific study. We'll pray for them. The more people who do it the more likely it is to work.


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 04:22 AM

Sounds like a good idea to me. I'm all over helping these poor kids.
(fyi, if i knew where ANY of you lived, i would call the cops on you for child abuse)


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Secondly, no i wasn't beaten by my parents.
And that's why you grew up to be a God-hating queer. Case closed.
Quote:
And why would a child grow up to be bad, if all they got was loving acceptance and real caring from their mom and dad. I've never in my life met a bad kid with a good home life. Ever.
That's because GOD does not curse Christian parents with sissy demon children!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayviathae View Post
I recently read something that says prayer in the form of a demand "Make these children safe" rather than a question "Will you please make these children safe" is best, because rather than asking someone to do something, you're assuring the ethers that you know the person can do something.
You pray to ether? Friend, ether is a good way of making yourself behave like the village drunkard in an early Irish novel; it is not a good thing to pray to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Sounds like a good idea to me. I'm all over helping these poor kids.
(fyi, if i knew where ANY of you lived, i would call the cops on you for child abuse)
And if we knew where you lived, we would call the cops on you for gender confusion. Impasse.


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 06:03 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post

And if we knew where you lived, we would call the cops on you for gender confusion. Impasse.
Funny. See beating your child IS illegal, having gender confusion on the other has is not. You can be arrested. i cant, i have done nothing wrong in the eyes of the law.


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Default Re: Free Paddles! - 08-12-2007, 07:41 PM

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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Funny. See beating your child IS illegal
Wrong again retard. Only Minnesota has anything that even remotely resembles illegal. And considering that pop-icon Prince comes form there it's not surprising. If he had been beaten properly as a child he wouldn't go around behaving like a queer.
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